Don your corsets for this pirate party celebrating major life milestones

This year, my husband and I celebrated 10 years together, five years married, and both of our 30th birthdays. Aside from what I do for a career, in general we like to show off and ESPECIALLY like to dress up. We decided long ago that a themed celebration every five years would be a must. And a pirate party was next on the list…

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How sex toys empowered me after trauma & shame

In December of 2009, I bought my first sex toy, and it was incredible. Here was an entire industry dedicated to the act of bringing my body pleasure. Not for anyone else, but for my own enjoyment. And it wasn't presented as secretive and embarrassing and shameful: it was bright purple. And for the first time, my body felt like mine and my sexuality belonged to me. Since then, sex toys have been an active interest of mine, and I've learned a lot about them — and about how important they are.

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When kids are not our "mini me": accepting your children as they are

When you become a parent, I think it's natural to have expectations and preconceived ideas of what the little person you have created is going to be like. Imagining the future and what that could look like is perfectly natural. But as they grow, you begin to see them become this little person who is unique and special in their own ways. At that point, you should let go of the ideas and expectations you had in your mind at the beginning…

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Asexuality and queerness redefined sex for us (& how we're making it work)

What is sexual compatibility? Insecurity made our life a little rocky early on. I worried that my partner's asexuality was simply disinterest in me, while she worried that I might prefer someone else. But after nearly seven years together, we've ironed that out — and in the process, built a sex life that we both find satisfying, exploring a non-traditional definition of sex. Here are the tools that we use to help us to define sex for ourselves…