How to carve an everlasting jack-o-lantern (from a foam pumpkin!)

I've loved holiday-specific crafts my entire life: gingerbread house building, Easter egg dying, and most especially, pumpkin carving. I moved to Louisiana seven years ago. The first few years I was down here I'd carve a real pumpkin, and due to humidity it would be moldy in three days or less no matter what I did to try to preserve it. That's when I discovered foam pumpkin carving!

To my (unhappily) single friends on Valentine's Day

To my unhappily single friends on Valentine's Day (happily single friends, you won't need this one!): I love you. I wish I could look you in the eyes and tell you, without a doubt, that someday the void you feel today will be filled in exactly the way you want it to be. That if you just stop looking for a partner, one will find you. Bliss will be forever yours. I know we both wish the future was as predictable and happy-ending filled as a movie.

I think perhaps this May, on Mother's Day, I will feel the same way you do today. Last Mother's Day I was blissfully looking forward to becoming a mother; a month later I lost that pregnancy.

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Last-minute New Year's party ideas for when friends say, "you're hosting!"

It's almost 2018 and you're ready to curl up with the pets and hit up Netflix, right? Nope. Your friends have decided that they want to party at YOUR PLACE. It's time for you to host the most dope New Years's Eve party ever.

You've got like a day, maybe two, to get shit in order. You need some last-minute New Year's party ideas that will slay (or at least keep things chill and fun?). Let's get to the celebration ideas, you party animals…