3.5k

Could-be-babies: my missed miscarriage of twins

I've been up all night deleting my lists of baby names, deleting my secret baby registry, unfollowing the Twins groups I joined on Facebook, throwing away the books and the ultrasound photos that I'd been proudly displaying on our fridge. I've been up all night unbecoming a mother. I had a glass of wine and sushi and it wasn't as good as I needed it to be. Women don't talk about miscarriage, even though it happens to a lot of us. A LOT.

1.1k

How do I know if I want a baby or just want to experience pregnancy?

I am 28 and I am in a serious relationship and I have the strong urge to have a baby. However, like this woman, I feel I am more interested in the feeling of being pregnant and giving birth than actually being a parent.

I am actually afraid I won't be a good parent at all because I won't be able to cope with the responsibility. But I ask myself, how does this make sense with my current, very raw urge to be pregnant?

1.7k

I'm a teacher and I'm dreading this question when school starts

Colleagues will ask it, parents will ask it, students will ask it. Some will ask it because it's the thing to do, some to fill dead air, some because they saw my (not to brag or anything) AMAZING vacation photos on social media, and some because they genuinely want to know. "How was your summer?"

You want to know how my summer really was? It was awful. I was an emotional, hormonal mess who was pregnant, but won't be having a baby anytime soon. I had two miscarriages, my second and third.

The realness of early pregnancy and loss

My pregnancy was real. Really brief. Really scary. Really exciting. Really surprising. Really sad. Really hopeful. Really exhausting.

There were three emotional weeks between the moment I saw two lines on a pregnancy test in my bathroom at 4am and the moment an ultrasound confirmed we'd lost it. This wasn't our first pregnancy, but it was our first since knowing the pain of losing one. We were scared and sad from the start that we might lose it, yet we were hopeful this might finally be our time…

I'm pregnant and in a metal band: how do I protect baby's hearing?

I'm an audio engineer and an electric violinist for a metal band, and just found out that I'm pregnant. It's early days, but do I need to cancel gigs after a certain point? As an engineer, I experience up to 105db at work, but generally staying under 90db. As a musician, though, I'm onstage next to drum kits and loud amps, including my own, for an average set of 50 minutes. Is there anything I can do to keep them safe without cancelling gigs?