Some people have asked me: if I identify with a term today does that mean you always have to identify that way? The answer to that question can be complicated and contentious. Here’s my take: HELL FREAKING NO!
My heartfelt advice: Don’t worry so much about labels. Labels are great, but, in some ways, they’re also for cans.
In December of 2009, I bought my first sex toy, and it was incredible. Here was an entire industry dedicated to the act of bringing my body pleasure. Not for anyone else, but for my own enjoyment. And it wasn’t presented as secretive and embarrassing and shameful: it was bright purple. And for the first time, my body felt like mine and my sexuality belonged to me. Since then, sex toys have been an active interest of mine, and I’ve learned a lot about them — and about how important they are.
Besides being a huge blow to sex workers and LGBTQ people, Tumblr’s recent decision to ban adult content from its platform is a misguided form of censorship that will remove an outlet of self-expression for those who fall outside of typical Western beauty standards. There was something else, though, and that something is what I and I think many other people will miss most now that Tumblr has moved to ban adult content from its site…
Tumblr announced that they are going scorched earth with pornographic content by removing it from the site entirely. Tumblr’s decision feels very much like a condemnation of sex work and pornography as a whole, and specifically ends up targeting marginalized groups who rely on the site in a number of ways. For those of us who don’t have a problem with safe, consensual sex work, this has the appearance of making it unnecessarily harder for folks to make a living online. For others, it feels like the only way to save the children (why won’t somebody think of the children?!).
Have you seen comedian Hannah Gadsby’s standup special, Nanette, on Netflix yet? No? Hold that thought and give it a watch. I’ll wait. If you have seen it, you’ll know it’s GOOD. And Gadsby’s presenting gig at this week’s Emmy’s proved her cred yet again.
Here’s why this woman deserves to host an awards show…
Talking about sexuality is a conversation that can make folks a tad uncomfortable. Sexuality is always some big dirty elephant in the room — it’s there and obvious but everyone avoids talking about it. That’s because, for many of us, it has been taught for generations that sex is a dirty thing we keep to ourselves.
We offer sexual education in some schools, we talk to our kids about the birds and the bees, but beyond that, how often do we ever really talk about sexuality?