2.4k April 1, 2019 Move over "spinster": this old term for an unmarried woman is bad-ass Back when I was buying a condo as an unmarried woman about a decade back, I was confronted with the term "spinster" in the legal documentation declaring that I *gasp* had no husband in the process of buying this home. Get your fainting couches ready. I think it would have been far less jarring had I been confronted with the term THORNBACK, though. What's a thornback you ask? Come with me on this journey of fantastic singlehood, friends… Read More 1.7k 17 Comments January 14, 2019 In which I tell conservatives I understand them because I used to be one If I can say anything at this bleak hour, with the world splitting at its seams, it's this: conservatives, I understand you. It may not be something you expect to hear from a liberal, but I do. I understand you. I understand you because I used to be you. Long ago, in the era of Slick Willy and the dawn of explicit labels on music CDs, I was conservative, too. I stood up for men first, considered money an inalienable right, questioned immigration, and thought abortion was the greatest moral crisis facing our lives… Read More 1.2k December 10, 2018 Requiem for Tumblr: pouring one out for a fat-positive space for nudes Besides being a huge blow to sex workers and LGBTQ people, Tumblr’s recent decision to ban adult content from its platform is a misguided form of censorship that will remove an outlet of self-expression for those who fall outside of typical Western beauty standards. There was something else, though, and that something is what I and I think many other people will miss most now that Tumblr has moved to ban adult content from its site… Read More 1.4k December 5, 2018 Will Tumblr's adult content ban be catastrophic for sex work and queer communities? Tumblr announced that they are going scorched earth with pornographic content by removing it from the site entirely. Tumblr's decision feels very much like a condemnation of sex work and pornography as a whole, and specifically ends up targeting marginalized groups who rely on the site in a number of ways. For those of us who don't have a problem with safe, consensual sex work, this has the appearance of making it unnecessarily harder for folks to make a living online. For others, it feels like the only way to save the children (why won't somebody think of the children?!). Read More 1.1k September 10, 2018 The roots of white privilege and what we must do to recognize it I recently had an experience with myself that brought me up short and let me know that — smack! — it was time to do some more reading. Anyone who has done any form of serious healing work in their lives knows that our patterns and wounding show up again and again and again, and it is up to us to recognize the roots and continue to pull them out as best we can. One way we can find the roots is by seeing the fruits. What are we growing in our lives? What kinds of symptoms do we have that tell us about the health of our own bodies and the environments we're in? For these things to be meaningful and informative, we must look at them. Read More 1.0k August 6, 2018 Wait, DON'T smash the patriarchy — its pieces are seeds Recently I've become really uncomfortable with the term "smashing the patriarchy." Not in the comfort-zone-pushing way, but in the misaligned-self-betrayal way. So I've stopped using it. Because you know who runs around smashing shit? The patriarchy. If we look seriously at the situation, I think we find that to "smash" the patriarchy is to recreate it. Read More 123…15
1.7k 17 Comments January 14, 2019 In which I tell conservatives I understand them because I used to be one If I can say anything at this bleak hour, with the world splitting at its seams, it's this: conservatives, I understand you. It may not be something you expect to hear from a liberal, but I do. I understand you. I understand you because I used to be you. Long ago, in the era of Slick Willy and the dawn of explicit labels on music CDs, I was conservative, too. I stood up for men first, considered money an inalienable right, questioned immigration, and thought abortion was the greatest moral crisis facing our lives… Read More 1.2k December 10, 2018 Requiem for Tumblr: pouring one out for a fat-positive space for nudes Besides being a huge blow to sex workers and LGBTQ people, Tumblr’s recent decision to ban adult content from its platform is a misguided form of censorship that will remove an outlet of self-expression for those who fall outside of typical Western beauty standards. There was something else, though, and that something is what I and I think many other people will miss most now that Tumblr has moved to ban adult content from its site… Read More 1.4k December 5, 2018 Will Tumblr's adult content ban be catastrophic for sex work and queer communities? Tumblr announced that they are going scorched earth with pornographic content by removing it from the site entirely. Tumblr's decision feels very much like a condemnation of sex work and pornography as a whole, and specifically ends up targeting marginalized groups who rely on the site in a number of ways. For those of us who don't have a problem with safe, consensual sex work, this has the appearance of making it unnecessarily harder for folks to make a living online. For others, it feels like the only way to save the children (why won't somebody think of the children?!). Read More 1.1k September 10, 2018 The roots of white privilege and what we must do to recognize it I recently had an experience with myself that brought me up short and let me know that — smack! — it was time to do some more reading. Anyone who has done any form of serious healing work in their lives knows that our patterns and wounding show up again and again and again, and it is up to us to recognize the roots and continue to pull them out as best we can. One way we can find the roots is by seeing the fruits. What are we growing in our lives? What kinds of symptoms do we have that tell us about the health of our own bodies and the environments we're in? For these things to be meaningful and informative, we must look at them. Read More 1.0k August 6, 2018 Wait, DON'T smash the patriarchy — its pieces are seeds Recently I've become really uncomfortable with the term "smashing the patriarchy." Not in the comfort-zone-pushing way, but in the misaligned-self-betrayal way. So I've stopped using it. Because you know who runs around smashing shit? The patriarchy. If we look seriously at the situation, I think we find that to "smash" the patriarchy is to recreate it. Read More 123…15
1.2k December 10, 2018 Requiem for Tumblr: pouring one out for a fat-positive space for nudes Besides being a huge blow to sex workers and LGBTQ people, Tumblr’s recent decision to ban adult content from its platform is a misguided form of censorship that will remove an outlet of self-expression for those who fall outside of typical Western beauty standards. There was something else, though, and that something is what I and I think many other people will miss most now that Tumblr has moved to ban adult content from its site… Read More 1.4k December 5, 2018 Will Tumblr's adult content ban be catastrophic for sex work and queer communities? Tumblr announced that they are going scorched earth with pornographic content by removing it from the site entirely. Tumblr's decision feels very much like a condemnation of sex work and pornography as a whole, and specifically ends up targeting marginalized groups who rely on the site in a number of ways. For those of us who don't have a problem with safe, consensual sex work, this has the appearance of making it unnecessarily harder for folks to make a living online. For others, it feels like the only way to save the children (why won't somebody think of the children?!). Read More 1.1k September 10, 2018 The roots of white privilege and what we must do to recognize it I recently had an experience with myself that brought me up short and let me know that — smack! — it was time to do some more reading. Anyone who has done any form of serious healing work in their lives knows that our patterns and wounding show up again and again and again, and it is up to us to recognize the roots and continue to pull them out as best we can. One way we can find the roots is by seeing the fruits. What are we growing in our lives? What kinds of symptoms do we have that tell us about the health of our own bodies and the environments we're in? For these things to be meaningful and informative, we must look at them. Read More 1.0k August 6, 2018 Wait, DON'T smash the patriarchy — its pieces are seeds Recently I've become really uncomfortable with the term "smashing the patriarchy." Not in the comfort-zone-pushing way, but in the misaligned-self-betrayal way. So I've stopped using it. Because you know who runs around smashing shit? The patriarchy. If we look seriously at the situation, I think we find that to "smash" the patriarchy is to recreate it. Read More 123…15
1.4k December 5, 2018 Will Tumblr's adult content ban be catastrophic for sex work and queer communities? Tumblr announced that they are going scorched earth with pornographic content by removing it from the site entirely. Tumblr's decision feels very much like a condemnation of sex work and pornography as a whole, and specifically ends up targeting marginalized groups who rely on the site in a number of ways. For those of us who don't have a problem with safe, consensual sex work, this has the appearance of making it unnecessarily harder for folks to make a living online. For others, it feels like the only way to save the children (why won't somebody think of the children?!). Read More 1.1k September 10, 2018 The roots of white privilege and what we must do to recognize it I recently had an experience with myself that brought me up short and let me know that — smack! — it was time to do some more reading. Anyone who has done any form of serious healing work in their lives knows that our patterns and wounding show up again and again and again, and it is up to us to recognize the roots and continue to pull them out as best we can. One way we can find the roots is by seeing the fruits. What are we growing in our lives? What kinds of symptoms do we have that tell us about the health of our own bodies and the environments we're in? For these things to be meaningful and informative, we must look at them. Read More 1.0k August 6, 2018 Wait, DON'T smash the patriarchy — its pieces are seeds Recently I've become really uncomfortable with the term "smashing the patriarchy." Not in the comfort-zone-pushing way, but in the misaligned-self-betrayal way. So I've stopped using it. Because you know who runs around smashing shit? The patriarchy. If we look seriously at the situation, I think we find that to "smash" the patriarchy is to recreate it. Read More 123…15
1.1k September 10, 2018 The roots of white privilege and what we must do to recognize it I recently had an experience with myself that brought me up short and let me know that — smack! — it was time to do some more reading. Anyone who has done any form of serious healing work in their lives knows that our patterns and wounding show up again and again and again, and it is up to us to recognize the roots and continue to pull them out as best we can. One way we can find the roots is by seeing the fruits. What are we growing in our lives? What kinds of symptoms do we have that tell us about the health of our own bodies and the environments we're in? For these things to be meaningful and informative, we must look at them. Read More 1.0k August 6, 2018 Wait, DON'T smash the patriarchy — its pieces are seeds Recently I've become really uncomfortable with the term "smashing the patriarchy." Not in the comfort-zone-pushing way, but in the misaligned-self-betrayal way. So I've stopped using it. Because you know who runs around smashing shit? The patriarchy. If we look seriously at the situation, I think we find that to "smash" the patriarchy is to recreate it. Read More 123…15
1.0k August 6, 2018 Wait, DON'T smash the patriarchy — its pieces are seeds Recently I've become really uncomfortable with the term "smashing the patriarchy." Not in the comfort-zone-pushing way, but in the misaligned-self-betrayal way. So I've stopped using it. Because you know who runs around smashing shit? The patriarchy. If we look seriously at the situation, I think we find that to "smash" the patriarchy is to recreate it. Read More 123…15