The roots of white privilege and what we must do to recognize it

I recently had an experience with myself that brought me up short and let me know that — smack! — it was time to do some more reading. Anyone who has done any form of serious healing work in their lives knows that our patterns and wounding show up again and again and again, and it is up to us to recognize the roots and continue to pull them out as best we can. One way we can find the roots is by seeing the fruits. What are we growing in our lives? What kinds of symptoms do we have that tell us about the health of our own bodies and the environments we're in? For these things to be meaningful and informative, we must look at them.

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Wait, DON'T smash the patriarchy — its pieces are seeds

Recently I've become really uncomfortable with the term "smashing the patriarchy." Not in the comfort-zone-pushing way, but in the misaligned-self-betrayal way. So I've stopped using it. Because you know who runs around smashing shit?

The patriarchy. If we look seriously at the situation, I think we find that to "smash" the patriarchy is to recreate it.

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I changed my last name and now I regret it. What should I do?

When I got married, I didn't want to keep my name because I grew up with an abusive father. My husband is deeply connected to his last name and didn't want to change, so I took his name. Now I hate that I changed my name because I associate it with his parents, and they aren't very good people, and I feel stuck. Any advice?

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"Are you a boy or a girl?" How do you explain gender to a child?

My kiddo is biologically male, but when kids ask him if he's a boy or girl, he says, "I'm me. I'm a person." Kids, however, don't accept this answer and pester him to the point of tears. I don't know how to tell him the difference between boys and girls, or if I want to tell him that there is a difference at all (besides anatomically).

How do you explain gender to a four-year-old?