Recently I’ve become really uncomfortable with the term “smashing the patriarchy.” Not in the comfort-zone-pushing way, but in the misaligned-self-betrayal way. So I’ve stopped using it. Because you know who runs around smashing shit?
The patriarchy. If we look seriously at the situation, I think we find that to “smash” the patriarchy is to recreate it.
My partner and I recently welcomed our miracle twin newborns to the world and we’re thrilled! But also terrified. Somehow we managed to bring two more blond-haired, blue-eyed, males into our rural Midwest society (we are both of primarily European ancestry, but we never expected this!).
We had always planned to teach our children to value diversity and to challenge the system of privilege, but now we’re looking at raising children who are the textbook image of privilege. Help! How can we do parenting right?
I’ve been writing about kink online for over a decade. I used to sometimes write under a pseudonym to protect my identity. Now that I’m older and wiser, I’ve realized that there’s nothing to be ashamed of as long as I keep it appropriate for the audience and circumstance. Do I talk about kink out of nowhere, with strangers or acquaintances, using “I” statements and sharing anecdotes? No. Never. Would I talk to my family about it? Would I be embarrassed? Would you? Here’s how to explain BDSM to your family without getting embarrassed…
I’m not sure there is a right answer for how to talk to a pregnant woman about her body, unless you fully understand your own relationship with that woman, or her own relationship with her changing body. In all reality, the worst offenders don’t come from my well-intentioned friends and family. They happen out in the world when I’m least expecting it.
Here’s how not to talk to pregnant women about their bodies…
I hate, hate, hate how our culture mis-attributed the concept of forgiveness. There’s this idea that anger is toxic, and you have to forgive everyone.
Does anyone have any advice/thoughts on how to respond when someone talks about losing weight and is seeking validation for it? Previously I would have felt like “You look great!” is an appropriate response and validation for their hard work. But now I feel like that is saying that something was wrong with how they previously looked and shaming fat/bigger bodies, or pre-shaming in the future if they gain the weight back. Is there a good way to respond positively to weight loss?