You’re looking at crones. Can you see the beauty?

In our society, it is not acceptable for female-identified people to age. We are all downloaded with the message that we are supposed to look 20 years old forever. We get mad when our bodies begin to droop, sag, slow down, and our physical/mental abilities change.

But aging is a reminder that we are having a finite experience on the planet… and that is beautiful.

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Do I shave my armpit hair to keep the peace with my family?

Several months ago, I committed to stop shaving my armpits. My cousin is getting married in a couple of weeks. The wedding is a big deal, and will be pretty formal. My extended family dynamic is such that it will likely be perceived as a personal attack to the bride if I show up with hairy pits. I'm really conflicted. Do I just shave for the sake of keeping the peace? Do I hide my hairy pits? Or do I just say "Fuck it!" not make a big deal of it, and let my family and my cousin think what they think?

We're cautiously excited for Netflix's time-traveling Afro-Colombian witch show, Siempre Bruja

Netflix released a trailer for its upcoming drama, Siempre Bruja, which follows the story of Carmen, an Afro-Colombian slave and witch living in the colonial coastal settlement of Cartagena in 1646 who time travels to 2019 to avoid being burned at the stake as a witch. Netflix has had some hits and misses lately with representation, so I'm cautiously optimistic that they'll handle the show featuring a darker skinned Afro-Colombian woman with care.

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Individuation: stumbling toward emotional self-reliance

Maybe the most obvious way to talk about individuation is to say that, in the context of my marriage, if there was a bad feeling, I would look to my spouse to help me with it. Over the years, this mean that basically I held him at least partially responsible for my sense of well-being. Then, suddenly, my sense of well-being was very much my responsibility alone… and ultimately, it always was.