I have always been a “nudie booty” in my own home. I would come home from work or class and just shed my clothes. I was that way before I got married, and I remained that way after I got Offbeat Wed.
It’s not so much that I dislike clothes; I actually love them quite a bit. I love to be able to express myself with my wardrobe, but when I want to relax, I don’t want anything to do with them.
Not even underwear. Nudie Booty! I just like nudity at home.
My husband had always liked it in the past. He’d come home from a long day at work to find his bare girlfriend sitting at her computer playing World of Warcraft, or his disrobed pregnant wife sleeping on the couch. It was my own body, and it wasn’t a secret.
He even thought it was cute after our first son was born to find the two of us fresh from the bath, napping in the bed.
But something changed when we found out our second child was a boy, too.
Not too long after the big gender reveal of our latest pregnancy, my husband came home and found me and our son, playing in the bathtub together.
He very calmly said “Don’t you think you should start covering up around him? He’s getting a little old for that.”
I just brushed it off saying that our two-year-old didn’t care or understand just yet.
Husband let it go.
But my nakedness has come up again
Our youngest son is about to turn one. Our oldest son is just over three, and well aware of the differences between my body parts and his and his brother’s.
The thought of my nudity at home around our sons has stirred up a sense of panic in my husband again.
He uses words like “appropriate” and “decent” and “private parts” to try to justify my need for covering up. I guess I still don’t really get it — why I, as their mother, would need to cover up around my sons.
Husband and I had a long talk about it one night because I honestly don’t understand his problem with my being bare around our boys and he rebutted that he didn’t understand why it was such a big deal to me.
That one stumped me.
I told him I’d think about it and get back to him.
Well, I’ve thought about it, and here’s why it’s a big deal: because my body isn’t bad.
Why should I hide my very real body from my sons? They’re going to be accosted by images of perfectly Photoshopped and smooth women their entire lives.
Wouldn’t it be a good idea to show them, starting from a young age, what one real woman’s body looks like? A size 10, saggy belly, dimply, stretch-marked, real and very imperfect body.
Wouldn’t it be a good idea to show them that bodies are nothing to be ashamed of? That just because you’re not what our society deems as perfect doesn’t mean you should be ashamed of your body. This is part of modeling health body image.
I want my sons to grow up with a much healthier view of their bodies than I had growing up.
I want them to see their bodies as instruments, not ornaments. Finely tuned machines that need to be treated well to run well with good clean fuel and plenty of exercise. To make them want to do all these things because they want to be healthy, not just skinny.
I want them to respect all shapes, sizes, and colors of people’s bodies for more than just their aesthetic appeal. To realize that there is much more to a woman (or any person) than just her physical body.
I feel like not changing who I am, not hiding my body or being ashamed of my body will be a good foundation and example to point my sons into this direction.
But I will adapt as they become older children
Of course, I do realize there will probably come a time when being around a noody-booty mommy will embarrass one or both of my boys, and when the time comes that one of them asks me to cover up, I will.
But for now, while they still have innocent pliable minds, I think my nooty booty will do them more good than harm.
If you’re navigating conversations about family nudity in YOUR home, here’s some further reading to do:
And now, courtesy of SP Families, I offer this reading list for other parents who want to raise children who aren’t afraid of nudity: