Doing porn helped me love and respect my fat body
Like many other people who are fat children who become fat teenagers before being fat adults, I learned from a young age that my body was “never meant to be desirable or sexy.” Fat bodies are never portrayed in the media as being sexy in a way which is positive or empowering, so there is simply very little representation for fat people as sexual beings. So, I became a sex worker, making indie amateur pornography.
I took a deep breath, hit record, and filmed some videos of myself. It was difficult and confronting. I felt bad about how I looked. Yet, with each video it got easier…
Is there one small golden travel vibrator to rule them all?
My go-to vibrator is the Magic Wand, which is NOT travel-friendly. And, since it is so damn amazing, it’s kind of ruined me for smaller vibrators.
Unless there’s one small golden travel vibrator to rule them all! …No seriously, is there?
Gender and sexuality: Is there an “Inappropriate Question Hour” anywhere?
When I was in college, there was an amazing “Inappropriate Question Hour” where people agreed to leave their privilege and prejudices at the door in order to educate one another. I haven’t found anything like it since. Does anyone know of any resources or communities where people can participate in the gender and sexuality conversation without fear?
Being The Backup: The one who gets the text when no one else is available
If someone is constantly telling you how much they miss you, but finds time weekly to spend with other people they just met, can’t find time for coffee, lunch, a quickie — ANYTHING with you — then it’s clear how much you and your time actually means to them. You aren’t even really a friend to them let alone a lover. Finally, it becomes clear: You are The Backup. You are who they go to when nobody else is available. So, fellow Backups, what are we supposed to do? Should we just smile and be happy that someone wants us, even if we are their last possible choice?
How do you have adult time when living in a small space with a kid?
My partner and I just moved into a 600-square-foot cottage with our one-year-old. Although there’s technically a separate bedroom, the wall doesn’t go all the way to the ceiling. So it may as we’ll be a studio for sound purposes. Is there a magic equation for living in a small space with a kid? Will we ever have sex again? And what can I do when I just really, really need some personal space?
Getting stoned with my vagina revolutionized my feelings about my own sexual body
Why a perfectly healthy, vibrant woman would be ashamed of her own perfectly healthy, vibrant vagina is a different subject all together. We will file that one under “Future bones to pick with the Patriarchy.” A different story for a different day. We will just say that hiding and quieting my vagina has just sort of been a major part of my role as a female, and hiding tends to lead to shameful feelings. Am I Right?
But today was for me and my vagina. I applied my beaver balm, generously. It melted like butter and felt warm, with a nice tingle. I pulled my pants and undies back up and went about my business, tidying the house, made myself a cup of coffee. Usual stuff. Twenty minutes later, my vagina was stoned…
Gay, straight, furries & Benedict Cumberbatch: My top 5 favorite sexy comic blogs
We’ve talked about sexy books before, but I don’t think there was ever a sexy comic blogs round-up. Since we all need a good online porn comic from time to time, here are my favorite. There is a metric ton of adult content out there, but I’m aiming for smut which pictures positive, consensual, fun sexy times, and stays clear of the usual pitfall of classic porn (sexism and woman degradation, I’m talking about you).
Are poly and sex-positive people really “obsessed with sex”?
Many (if not most of us) who are polyamorous, swinger, or in any kind of open relationships, have been told we are “obsessed with sex.” But are we really? Okay, sure… there are absolutely people out there who would be obsessed with sex. They even have therapy sessions, which for anyone truly obsessed with sex — that is a wonderful thing. But many of us are not dictionary-definition obsessed with sexual pleasures. We’re simply open — open-minded, open sexually, and sexually positive. Is that really a bad thing? Apparently to some people, yes, yes it is.