Weird and funny doormats as cool as the rest of your home

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Dorms, apartments, houses — I’ve seen doormats at them all. They greet our friends, catch our stuff, and clean our shoes — but it’s damn hard to find a good one. I’ve collected this lot of sarcastic, handmade, and just plain weird doormats to fill the needs of Offbeat Homies.

Have to kick off the list with my own doormat!

Or a bossy Boston Terrier.
The swanky nautical doormat (and matching ropework doorstop!)
My in-laws have the ever-popular GO AWAY doormat, which frightened my mother.
If I only remember one thing I learned today, let it be that The Onion makes doormats.
A nerd mat!
Geek lives here

Got any doormats on your wishlist? Share those links!

Comments on Weird and funny doormats as cool as the rest of your home

  1. Our last name is Slaughter (I’m newly married) and our friend promised to get us one (written in a nice script) that says, “Welcome to the Slaughter House”–can’t wait!

  2. I get that it’s the Onion and all, but yikes, that would be a bad choice in my city where gentrification is a real issue and tensions are often high, and where race is always a part of the conversation. The doormat rubs me the wrong way. (I know, I know, the Onion, but still.) (Also, a doormat + rubbing me the wrong way = unintentional pun)

    I love the Keys/Wallet/Phone one!

  3. Mostly agree…except for the “GO AWAY” one. 🙁 We have a neighbor whose property is overgrown with a fire-prone invasive plant (scotch broom) has one of those. He doesn’t usually live on the property, but we didn’t know that. All we wanted was to know if it was okay that we cut the plants back a few feet from the road to reduce the fire danger (there’s only one road out of our neighborhood). Being greeted by silence and a mat that says “GO AWAY” was really disheartening.

  4. We have the “Go Away” mat! Anyone who we have invited to our house has loved it…and added bonus, we haven’t had any solicitors or religious people knock since putting it out!

  5. Today I was so pissed off because when my husband picked me up from school he told me that he went to Target without me and bought some stuff for our new place! I literally punched him in the arm (i have very ineffectual tiny fists, unfortunately) He told me he bought a mat and I was so bummed! Then we got home and the mat has a beautiful tree on it! It’s nice to know how well my husband knows me! : ) So hooray for welcome mats! (BTW, this is the first time I’ve ever owned one…!)

  6. I am oddly attracted to a lot of the ones at Target.
    One says “Enter if you dare” in very convincing blood complete with spatter.
    Another reads “Nice Underwear” (this tickles my inner child)
    And finally “Stay on mat. Your knock will be answered in the order it was received”
    I actually bought the one with a school of blue fish and one red fish that has “hello” written on it. I have no idea why it won. But I love it.

  7. That pirate mat is the same one we have. It was the very first item purchased off our wedding registry, like, before we even said where the registries were.

    (Then that one was stolen when our neighbors — in their 30s and old enough to know better — got drunk. We bought a replacement from Amazon.)

  8. We have the jolly roger doormat! I love it sooooo much we bought another one for our patio! I nearly spilled my coffee I was so excited when I saw the picture of it on this post! =)

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