My husband and I have been married for seven years. We’re both gainfully employed and in our mid-thirties… and I think that 2014 should be the year we make the decision to start trying for our first child. Full disclosure: some of my motivation to procreate stems from a place of fear (will we regret if we wait even longer? What if I’m infertile? What if he is?), but I’m there. I’m ready.
But here’s the thing: while I’m ready to start trying to bake a kid, my husband isn’t, and I’m at a loss as to how I should tell him that I feel like it’s time for us do this thing. I fear waiting will cause me to resent him, but also that if I push him before he’s ready he’ll resent me. Everytime I bring up the conversation about when we should try or even gently just start up the topic of a family, I get a “we’ll see.”
I do not feel like I can say “we need to start trying” without pushing my husband away, but I know that I am a ready to start trying. I also know I cannot ask this of my husband if he is not truly there with me on this. So tell me: how can I talk about having a baby with my husband and actually get some kind of result? — Melissa
Deciding when to seriously start thinking about attempting to conceive a child is HUGE and the conversation is different for everyone. Over on Offbeat Families, we regularly discussed this tricky topic. Here are a few of our favorite discussions from the archives:
- When is the right time to have a child?
- 8 ways to help you deal when the time isn’t right to have a baby
- Our life isn’t ready for a baby but I am: let’s talk about dealing with baby fever
- How did your baby change your life?
- How do you bring up having a baby with your partner?
For those who have traveled down this road: if you wanted to have a baby before your partner did, how did you get serious about at least discussing the possibility together?