Category Archive


Scrubbing a stranger: my twist on Tinder’s disposable dating culture

I went on a Tinder date with a heartbroken, griefstricken stranger. There was no chemistry, but there was clearly… something.

So for our second date, I did something weird.

Condoms and coercion: a gynecologist searches for good, clean fun

…I was having casual sex, of course I was using condoms, that’s just what one does. Right?

I mean, while it was always my intention to use one, in all honesty, a condom did not always make its way onto a penis prior to its arrival in my vagina.

So, what’s wrong with me? I am a gynecologist! I have a Master’s degree in public health. If ANYONE knows better, it’s me…

It’s scary to actually like someone again: Dating after divorce

I’m a young person who likes the company of other persons for kissing and such, so I didn’t waste a lot of time finding people to do that with, once I submitted my divorce paperwork.

It was actually thanks to my ex’s suggestion, that I ended up getting on a free dating site for humans…

Being The Backup: The one who gets the text when no one else is available

If someone is constantly telling you how much they miss you, but finds time weekly to spend with other people they just met, can’t find time for coffee, lunch, a quickie — ANYTHING with you — then it’s clear how much you and your time actually means to them. You aren’t even really a friend to them let alone a lover. Finally, it becomes clear: You are The Backup. You are who they go to when nobody else is available. So, fellow Backups, what are we supposed to do? Should we just smile and be happy that someone wants us, even if we are their last possible choice?

Pregnant and polyamorous: On dating a potential lover while pregnant by your husband

My husband and I were a month into trying to conceive when we I peed on that stick and got the great news that I was pregnant. As we sat looking at the third positive pregnancy test, I excitedly and nervously thought about who we would tell first: parents, siblings, in-laws, and that fantastic man that I started dating… I debated and decided that being pregnant would not be a barrier to pursuing him as a lover, my husband concurred — but I wasn’t sure if he would feel the same.

Any non-gendered advice on meeting the parents for the first time?

I’m in my late 20s and I’ve never really done the whole “meet the parents” thing before. Most of the advice I can find online is pretty sexist (dress conservatively, offer to help in the kitchen to show that you can run a house!). Is there anything I should know that isn’t super gender stereotyped?

Conservative family vs. liberal partner: How do you make it work?

It’s 2015, so a liberal Filipino woman dating a white conservative man isn’t so unusual. And our relationship is amazing. Except… while my family has welcomed the man I love with open arms, his family keeps their arms shut. Normally I wouldn’t be too concerned with whether or not people like me. But it’s different when you’re talking about the parents of the man you’re dating.

This is what I wish someone would have told me about relationships when I was young

Here’s what I wish a loving older brother or sister figure would have told us (and what I’m passing on to you young Offbeat Homies out there): there is nothing wrong with wanting a casual relationship. Not in your late teens and early twenties, and not even in your late twenties, thirties, forties… you get the idea.