My partner grew up in a conservative household. They were the All American Family. Sit-down dinners, church on Sundays, restricted TV shows, being taught the Christian Conservative Way all through growing up.
Cut to my loud, Filipino family. Meals were whenever we were hungry, religion was never forced upon me, and we were able to express ourselves however we wanted. All you had to do to survive in my family was to be respectful of the rules.
It’s 2015, so a liberal Filipino woman dating a white conservative man isn’t so unusual. And our relationship is amazing — no fights, no drama, no games. We are a very simple couple. Except… while my family has welcomed the man I love with open arms, his family keeps their arms shut.
Normally I wouldn’t be too concerned with whether or not people like me. But it’s different when you’re talking about the parents of the man you’re dating. There are many questions that I’m wrestling with now:
- Must I conform to their standards even if their son loves me for who I am?
- Do I change the way I do my makeup, the way I dress, and hide my piercings because they’re not conservative enough?
- How do you change for them but stay the same for him?
Communication? Clear boundaries? Compromising? How do YOU deal with not exactly fitting in with your partners’ family?