How do you know if you’re child-neutral or child-free?
My husband definitely wants kids in a real, much more immediate sense than I do. I’ve never dealt with pangs of baby crack, but I do enjoy the company of children in certain doses. I have a toddler niece and nephews whom I love a lot, but I’ve never felt gooey for babies. I realize that just about everyone who thinks about becoming a parent questions the decision. But is there a point when you know that being child-free is truly what you want, and it’s not just cold feet?
Being The Backup: The one who gets the text when no one else is available
If someone is constantly telling you how much they miss you, but finds time weekly to spend with other people they just met, can’t find time for coffee, lunch, a quickie — ANYTHING with you — then it’s clear how much you and your time actually means to them. You aren’t even really a friend to them let alone a lover. Finally, it becomes clear: You are The Backup. You are who they go to when nobody else is available. So, fellow Backups, what are we supposed to do? Should we just smile and be happy that someone wants us, even if we are their last possible choice?
How do you have adult time when living in a small space with a kid?
My partner and I just moved into a 600-square-foot cottage with our one-year-old. Although there’s technically a separate bedroom, the wall doesn’t go all the way to the ceiling. So it may as we’ll be a studio for sound purposes. Is there a magic equation for living in a small space with a kid? Will we ever have sex again? And what can I do when I just really, really need some personal space?
Why is it still socially un-acceptable to discuss your personal financial security as a married woman?
I’ve had two conversations in the past couple months that have set off a bit of a lightbulb in my brain when I realized that it still isn’t socially acceptable to discuss your personal financial security as a married woman. I will tell you why that’s not cool. (Beware of gendered language ahead…)
How do I navigate the murky waters of family-of-origin stories?
I loveloveloooove my big wonderful blended family, but I get weary of the conclusions people jump to looking at us. That’s a whole lot to explain, but sometimes people jump to conclusions that downright offend me — sometimes they feel like micro aggressions. Anyone else out there with wild and wonderful families that have found a way to navigate the murky waters of introductions/family-of-origin stories?
Breast pumps & messy rooms: The newborn photos I wish I had taken
When my son was born I was already a photographer. I knew I wanted and needed to capture these first few precious weeks. So, apart from arranging for a photographer to come and take a few, I also prepared all my gear and resolved to practice taking the most perfect newborn pictures.
What I didn’t know then was those “cute-baby-on-a-white-blanket-curled-up-in-a-perfect-pose” pictures would not be the ones I will treasure in five years time.
How to communicate with your partner when you’re bad at expressing yourself
I’m bad at communication (like really, really bad). Even if I can bring up the courage to talk to someone I never know exactly what to say and I struggle to figure out how to express what I’m feeling. That’s when I started to write letters to my partner.
Postpartum anxiety, devastating prenatal diagnosis: What to expect when parenthood isn’t what you expected
The thing is, no one really knows what you should expect, when you’re expecting. More often than not, the things you experience as a parent are not what you expected. Sometimes they’re beautiful. Sometimes things are not so wonderful — Postpartum Anxiety. A devastating prenatal diagnosis. An abortion… So, what do you do when pregnancy or parenthood isn’t what you expected?