Babycrack: when wanting a baby gets weird

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smelling baby

My name is Ariel, and I was a babycrack junkie.

I’ve mentioned babycrack a couple times here before, but I realize that I’ve never fully defined it. Babycrack is my way of explaining that at-times irrational urge to procreate.

Readers who have had experiences with addictive behavior will understand that there are times when the little voice in your head (that voice you normally trust; the voice that reminds you to pee, eat, or sneeze) does you wrong. Sometimes, that little voice suggests that you do another line of coke, drink another bottle of wine, play another game of blackjack or WoW, or take another toke off that crackpipe.

Your conscious brain sits there and says, “Oh no: that’s not what I need right now. Not at all,” but the hungry little ghost inside says, “Oh yes it is! Just one more line/sip/etc! Bet the farm: it doesn’t matter…just hurry up! Grab the mirror and the razor blade! Pick up the glass tube pipe! For godsake — the time is now!”

That, my dear friends, is what being in my mid-20s felt like. I wasn’t stupid: I knew that it wasn’t the time to have a baby. My conscious brain said things like, “Gosh, I barely made rent and am totally emotionally unstable right now — probably not a good time to be thinking about reproduction,” but babycrack brain says, “BUT LOOKIT LITTLE WIDDUM’S CUTIE WIDDLE BOTTOM!”

Before I had a baby, sometimes hanging out with friends’ infants felt like doing a big fat line of quality-grade baby.

And now that I have a baby? I’m in a state of chronic overdose. And I like it!

Comments on Babycrack: when wanting a baby gets weird

  1. Hahahaha, this is SO TRUE. We’re planning on getting married next year (exact date TBD), and for the last year or so I’ve been hitting the babycrack hard. I’m still taking my birth control religiously, and I know it’s going to be a couple of years before we make any intentional attempts at a baby, but man… my biological clock has been SCREAMING at me lately. I always wanted to have my first baby before 30, and I’m almost 28 now… the hormones are kicking in hardcore. Insanity!

  2. From wedding porn to babycrack thanks to the Offbeat Empire 🙂 We’ve just passed our one year anniversary, and the plan is to add to our two person, two cat family in 2.5 years. I just can’t seem to pull myself away from this site…

  3. I DESPERATELY want another baby at the moment, and have for a while. I’m 28, and don’t want to have kids after I’m 30, and I feel like I’m running out of tiiiiime.

  4. I know this post has been up for awhile, but I am in the thralls of this right now! My hubs and I are both sooooo ready to have a baby. We have tons to do right now though. I am just now purchasing health insurance and I have to wait a year for the maternity coverage to kick in any way. So that’s what we are shooting for, conceive a year from now. That means I have to wait a whole year to try and if I’m lucky wait 10 months after that to see the little guy/gal. I have a 6 year old daughter now and didn’t want to space the kiddos so far apart but that’s just how it’s gonna go I guess. To quell my craziness, I have rationalized that it means I have almost 2years 🙁 to get my house the way that I want it and I can start buying little things here and there and putting them in my spare room. I may have to lock that room so other people don’t think I am insane though! And I am 31 right now so I am a little worried about it being more difficult to conceive at almost 33. My little girl was the happiest of accidents ever. So I have also prepared myself a couple of scenarios if this doesn’t happen as my overly organized control freak self has planned. One, I am super pro adoption, I’m a social worker and working on my masters to become a therapist and I already work with many kids in the system and would love to take about half of them home. Two, I will have baby gifts for other people for a long time if it didn’t work out as planned. So here’s to the baby crack! Hoping I am responsible and hold out ….

  5. OMG!!! This is me!! I never knew I was on babycrack. My Husband just gave in and we have been trying for 3 month!!! I cant think or work!!! Baby Dust to you all…. if you want it:)

  6. This is me too right now. For most of my adult life kids have fallen into the “maybe someday” category. I watched other friends have children but they were always clearly on a different path from me (got married right after high school etc) so I could distance myself from it all.

    But in the past six months, every time I turn around, friends of mine are having kids – people who, like me would say “someday” if asked about it awhile ago; people who got married but showed no signs of wanting to be parents right away. This is compounded by the fact that we just bought a 4 bedroom house in a totally kid-centric neighbourhood surrounded by schools and community centres and libraries.

    So, I kind of feel like I’m out of excuses and have to come face to face with the fact that OMG! I want a baby!!!!!!

    Mentally, I know that we should still wait a couple of years and I’d better keep taking my little orange pills but I’m feeling that shift happening where I’m starting to think about how we would handle a baby and how we would financially prepare for a baby. Also, I turn 30 this year so I know we shouldn’t wait too many years if we can avoid it.

    The obsession is starting to become a little weird though. I stare at baby photos and videos of babies being adorable. I ask friends about their pregnancies and pay, probably, too much attention to the answers. I cried on the weekend when we watched a video of an orphaned baby bat being cared for at a sanctuary.

    Gotta focus elsewhere for now.

    • I know this is an older post, but just reading through everyone’s thoughts and I am totally there.

      To the point I read your last sentence 3 times Sarah before I realised it said focus. I thought it said foetus!!!!

  7. Oh, the babycrack! I’m lucky enough to have a 6-month old nephew who helps keep my cravings in check, but I just graduated from college and landed an amazing job, so I am ready NOWNOWNOWNOW! Boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, and we just bought a house together, but he doesn’t want kids for another 5 years (when he will be 30). I’m all about getting it done young, so I can be “hip” and then still have many golden years left after all the kids are grown. There is a pretty intense battle in my head every night when it is time to take my pill, but every time it all boils down to the fact that Boyfriend isn’t ready, and while having a baby now would make me ecstatic, it would make him equally miserable. I’m only 24 now….but when 27 rolls around, I might not be so level-headed, haha.

    • I understand! I am 27.. and have had this battle since I was 21. All the females in my family line had a baby by 21.. and here I am.. none. I am becomming more financially ready as time goes by. So I keep thinking… maybe God is just waiting for it to be perfect before I get what I want.

      My bf isn’t quite ready either … but also understand.. they may never be ready. Im not saying you should stop the pill and lie to him.. NO!! Im just saying.. if it’s an accident that u get pregnant.. he will be nervous.. but he will end up being so excited! Don’t think he doesn’t want kids.. he just feels there are things he needs to accomplish first. GOOD LUCK HUNN… I feel your addiction!

  8. Oh I love you and I love this website!!!!!

    Baby crack! I’m on baby crack! Now I know what to call what I have.
    I actually just submitted a question about it about an hour ago.

    Wow… feeling a sense of relief that I’m not the only one. I used to ponder about this for hours. I mean, I don’t have a partner, I’m going to grad school next year, and I’m still in my “maiden-y” phase. So why am looking up baby stuff online?

    The answer is: Baby crack.

  9. I finally understand what I got. I’m starting to feel like its a disease. I think about babies all the time and find myself very jealous of anyone who is expecting a baby or has baby/babies. I get to the point I’m so jealous I can’t stand to be around them. I try to spend time with my niece everytime I get the chance. But she just turned 5 this
    year which is making my addiction crazy. I always thought I wanted to have a baby by 23 and was just waiting for the right one…
    My boyfriend now is the one, one year ago when we “re met”, we fell in love, already we’ve been through a lot of life changers. The first time I mentioned kids back then… he didn’t want anything to do with kids.. now he’s telling me every couple weeks not to get my depo shot. The only thing keeping me from having a baby, its so tempting, but until the day he’s absolutely sure, I can’t stop by shot…. april 1st is my next shot….. wish me luck he makes a decision sooooon.

  10. Im in the same boat,im constantly wanting a baby.Wonder if i can shake this feeling!Doubt it somee how..

  11. I consider myself pretty lucky in that, whenever I start eyeing my friend’s babies with that “I need one” look, my boyfriend doesn’t panic, but patiently reminds me why we’re waiting until we both finish school. On the plus side, my friends are popping out kids like gumball machines, so it’s pretty easy to get a fix 😉

  12. Reading all these posts makes me feel alot better. I don’t have friends with children and most of my firends are on the career path. I am twenty and married and my fiends are all single. My husband does not want a baby yet. He thinks we should wait three more years or so…but, I can’t help but feel like I am missing something. I have had babycrack hard core for the past year now. I am not around babies so, I guess I dont get a “fix” and I am not really comfortable with other peoples children. But, it is deffiantly nice to read that I am not alone with the empty baby feeling.

  13. Yes baby crack addict I am …..I found this because of it smh ….my fiance revealed to me that he wants a kid once we move into our home together next yr 2013 and YES I smiled and danced inside my heart like nobody’s business even tried to calm myself but this baby crack causes a euphoric state of emotion that I started to look up parenting websites then its this other half of me saying who r u kidding u can’t get preggo cause of my irreg cycles and etc …. Idk I kno it’s drastic to b wanting babies but its Like I can’t help it and then it’s a part of me saying that slow down don’t b to happy over somethin that may not happen ….25yo btw …

  14. We had a miscarriage in April with the EDD being 3 days ago. I’ve been taking it really hard recently, and hoping to get pregnant. But as luck would have it, I have not even had a chance. My future husband doesn’t want kids now, and would prefer to wait until he is 28 (he is 24 now). But I want to be a young mom (pregnant before 21 and I am 20 now). But in 2013, we will be halfway trying and then in 2014 we will be fully on the TTC train. But if I haven’t had a baby by 24, I think we might have to start artificial insem. The last thing I want to do is IVF so, if I don’t get pregnant through AI, I’ll end up adopting.

  15. My obsessive thinking started right after my sister-in-law had her latest kid. I love him to death but I have a desperate urge in my uterus to have one of my own. I’m in a stable long-term relationship but I’m only 20, my partner is 32 and he is starting to feeling a baby is in a near future because of his age. I know it’s not a good time, student loans and a dinky job but I want one! Or four. It’s illogical, curse my hormones.

  16. My husband and have just kind of set a date for starting to try for a baby. I had to go back to this post to calm the fuck down.

    I feel like I am going crazy but all I can focus on is baby. Everything else seems not to matter. There are no babies in the family for a hit.

  17. First time I heard of this… =O
    so I’m not the only one going babycrazy for years?
    I mean… I have no conditions at all to have a baby, but I keep wishing for a baby.
    Driving myselft cracy about it for years… and i’m 20 x.x soo yeah x.x
    I’m a Babycrak x.x
    How do You deal whit the madness? xD

    Sorry for my english – not my main language :p

  18. Hi, my name is Kay and I’m a babycrack addict.
    I had a miscarriage when I was 15 after an accidental pregnancy. At that point I was unsure I wanted kids at all, but from the second that the test read positive, I was addicted. I am now 18, going on 19 and feel like all it does is continue to get worse EVERY FUCKING SECOND! I’ve been with a great guy for a while now and I understand that we can’t have kids, but it’s so hard to fight myself and I feel bad because it hits a point where I just cry hysterically to my boyfriend all the time about how badly I want a baby. I just wish there was a way to ignore it, fight it, or something!

  19. this article so accurately describes me that it hurts. to steal a little from melanie: hello, my name is casey and i have been a babycrack addict for just about my entire life.

    my logical brain knows that i’m not where i want to be before i have kids. i have a pretty good job that enables me to pay my bills and then put a lot of money in savings but i also live with my mom (which i don’t want to still be doing when i have kids). while it would be feasible to raise a child alone on my current salary, money would be far tighter than i would be comfortable with. my logical brain also knows that i’m ONLY turning 25 next month, i still have plenty of time to get to where i want to be before having children wouldn’t be an option anymore: find love, get a better job, buy my own home, do some traveling, etc.

    my logical brain knows all of this but my emotional brain has a hard time seeing those things. that side sees all my pregnant friends/family and all the adorable babies that are seemingly everywhere in my area and is inconsolably jealous. this side of me sometimes considers having a one night stand with a stranger in the hopes that i would get pregnant (thankfully, logic is winning out on this one because i KNOW that’s just asking for trouble).

    i made a joke on facebook last week about having more achievements unlocked on my favorite games than the friend who introduced me to the series. he quipped back about the fact that he was still a better gamer even though he has “a life and a family”. i knew he didn’t mean to hurt me, he just meant it as a little jab back at my original comment, but his words felt like a slap in the face and i cried. he was extremely lucky to marry a woman with 2 freaking awesome kids (ages 3 and 5 at the time) to form an instant family and before now he didn’t understand how much i want what he has with them.

    in the mean time i pour over names and baby clothes and nursery designs, but it’s never quite enough.

  20. Oh wow. I am SO glad I have found this! I have a severe babycrack addiction!
    I’m 21, finished uni with a good degree, my own place with boyfriend of 3 years, who is coincidentally a damn sexy soon-to-be fireman. My ovaries are going nuts!
    I am so incredibly desperate for a baby that it hurts.
    Boyfriend on the otherhand is not ready yet.

    I just NEED him to be ready. Or shift this feeling.
    But I’ve always been a broody, maternal fucker, it’s just recently my bodybabyclock came crashing down on my head and has been lodged there making ticking noises ever since!

    Aahhh babies!

  21. Hi, my name is Jennifer, I’m 25 and I am a babycrack addict. I have a set of twin 18 month old siblings, a set of Irish twin 5 yr old brothers, and a 10 year old sister.
    I WANT MY OWN!!!!

  22. Man it’s so nice to know I’m not alone. I’m 25 turning 26 I have always wanted to be a mother and am a very mothering person. I have to admit definitely since entering my 20s I have been finding ways to put off my baby urges. I pland for a puppy then I got the puppy now my dog has so much stuff people call it my child and I think older women kinda know. I was in a relationship for 5 years with someone you that would go between being unsure about wanting children or not wanting them at all so having a baby was definitely not in the cards. We have started to see each other again but my trust was broken and I’m completely poor post graduate student living in a share house and not a supportive family but just the last 2 weeks I have really started to find myself Googleing baby stuff and I’m like what the fuck is rong with me I can hardly afford myself. I am the first women in my family to have not had a baby by 22 so i don’t really have anyone that can tell me how they put off the urges because they didn’t. But my mother is a child as an older woman I think because she had us young so that kinda helps put me off. But yer as I approach 26 this is defiantly baby crack I’m on here looking at this rather then addressing other areas of my life and Uni work. Does wanting a baby when I’m not in a financial position to have one make me a bad person. And if I start planing and purchasing baby stuff when I’m a student does that mean I’m crazy…

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