For years, I’ve been sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Don’t get me wrong: I’d love to have a bed frame. My major problem with frames, though, is that they are way too noisy during sex.
There’s nothing wrong with being loud, but when you want to be quiet, you can never quite pass that message along to the bed frame. Metal and wood both conspire to let everyone know what you’re up to. Headboards require a hand to hold them, or they’ll slam against the wall in protest. No matter how well you bite into the pillow, a stray thunk from a headboard or the incessant creaking of a frame will give up all your secrets in an instant.
Is there a bed frame that won’t betray the frantic motions on the mattress above? How can I make my bed more quiet during sex?! -Elemeno P.
Oh hell yes. We’ve got you, Elemeno.
We’ve done some (ahem) very thorough investigative testing on this issue.
First, let’s talk about your mattress
If you’ve got a boxspring — ditch that thing! All those springs and that wooden frame with all that bouncing just adds to your squeaking.
Once you’ve ditched your boxspring, Get a foam-based mattress. Right off the bat, this dramatically reduces queaking noise from bouncing on springs.
Personally, I got a Leesa mattress in 2015 and have been, uh, thorougly testing it. My testing has been quite extensive these past five years. The years immediately after my divorce saw some especially thorough investigative testing, and I am here to say that I love my Leesa. She’s firm, silent, and dependable.
But I also considered a Ghostbed Luxe, because of how they they’re catered to side-sleepers like me.
Ultimately I decided on the Leesa, because it was so affordable.
Next, aim for a platform bed!
Ok, so in that photo above, do you see what my mattress is sitting on? It’s a solid-base platform bed. That’s the bedframe I can speak vouch the most directly for… the more solid wood surface area you have touching the floor, the more solid, sturdy and unsqueaky your situation will be.
Silent solid-base platform beds
The joy of a solid base platform bed is two-fold… not only are they quiet and not squeaky, but many of them offer storage options!
First, let’s talk about Wayfair? They have some SUHWEET beds that Offbeat Home readers are loving and reporting back about SUPER SILENCE.
Uh-HUH, Cynthia. We can read between the lines of your review. “When we’ve been on the bed,” in-DEED!
If you’re going for more of a modern farmhouse vibe, there’s this one:
I love that Arianna, but it’s kinda pricey. Thankfully, there are more affordable options in the under $500 range.
I keep hearing from soooo many folks who love their GhostBed bases
The Ghosttbed Foundation lives up to its name… and is SILENT LIKE A GHOST, with reviewers noting:
- I’m impressed with how quiet the mattress is. No squeaking springs or creaking slats. I actually looks for excuses to go to bed early.
- Easy assembly. Sturdy and quiet
- Assembled in under 15 minutes. Extremely quiet too.
- We have been sleeping on it for a couple of weeks, I LOVE it! It is quiet and sturdy. Everything you can want in a bed foundation.
As an added bonus, the foundation can hold up to 2000 pounds, making it a great choice for couples with more cushion for the pushin’, know’m’sayin’?
Hot tip: Got an old mattress that’s cramping your style?
Upgrading to a sturdy and quiet bed frame is a must for “active” (cough, cough) couples, but if you’re ready for the true sex life glow-up, you’re gonna need a quality mattress to go with it. You can save some cash (30% off to be exact!) with GhostBed’s Comfort Bundle.
It comes with a GhostBed mattress (the hybrid GhostBed Flex is my fave by far), the All-in-One Foundation, PLUS their luxury sheets and pillows. Imagine what you could do with all that, right?! Quiet foundation + quiet mattress + cooling sheets and pillows… now THAT sounds like a perfect night to me.
Another option to get those creative juices flowing… their Adjustable Base is ahhhh-mazing in every way. If you’re looking for a really silent bed for sex, but want to be a little bit higher off the ground in all the ways, this bed gets as busy as you do! It’s a great way to send your sex life into “zero gravity,” if you know what I mean. Plus, you can get 40% off their Adjustable Base Combo Bundle.
…Let me say that again: 40% OFF.
Adjust your sturdy quiet bed – send your sex life into zero gravity?
If you’re looking for a really silent bed for sex, but want to be a little bit higher off the ground in all the ways, I gotchoo. Here is a bed that gets as busy as you do!
Oh this mattress and adjustable bed bundle is both silent AND adjustable
This Ghostbed adjustable base combo is adjustable, AND it’s got 15 Whisper-Quiet Massage Modes? This means that even when your partner isn’t up to getting busy, you can still have some fun, complete with 2 wireless remotes, under-bed LED lighting & four USB ports?! WTF!
This elevated bed promises no squeaks, and has that heavy-duty construction — like all Ghostbeds, this one can handle up to 2000 pounds.
When it comes to bed frames that never creak, the reviews on on the Ghostbed adjustable frame/mattress bundle don’t lie:
The bed is quiet and comfortable. Love the adjustable settings and massage function.
Quiet and so many functions. Countless positions on both the head and foot sides. You can set it exactly how you want at the perfect angle for tv, reading, sitting on your laptop. It’s like having a lounger, reading chair, and bed all rolled into one! And it gives you an excuse to use your awesome ghostbed mattress even more.
This bed is amazing! It makes reading and watching TV in bed so much more comfortable. It is so quiet and smooth that my three cats enjoy the ride!
Much better than I had anticipated and worth every penny. Easy to put together, quiet motors, love the USB ports and the massage feature. I love the vibrating feature. Adjustments are smooth and quiet. Awesome Functions and Surprisingly Quietess.
I want this thing. It’s not just a no squeek bedframe, it’s like a whole experience. Plus, with a 101-night sleep trial and 20+ year warranty, there’s not much to lose.
The final tip? If you don’t have a carpeted bedroom, you may want to put a rug underneath your platform bed. The thicker the pile the better! A foam mattress on a sturdy bedframe like this on top of a thick pile rug? THAT IS THE SWEET SPOT!