I recently found out I’m expecting my FOURTH baby — and my third baby is not even five months old. To say this has come as a shock is an understatement. We’re happy about the pregnancy now, but it has taken a bit of work to get there. We’re getting ready to tell our family and friends… but there are two people I’ve been avoiding telling so far: my brother and my very good friend.
My brother is gay, and he and his partner keep hitting roadblocks on their journey to having a baby. My friend is struggling to conceive and has been for some time — she’s up to her ears in IVF, egg donation, adoption, you name it.
I’m struggling because I feel like telling them about our fourth very easily conceived baby might really hurt them.
I know they’ll both be happy for us, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if the news came as a kind of “why is it so easy for them when they have so many kids and so hard for us when we just want one” way. I don’t presume they will be sad, envious, or resentful just because I think I would be, and for all I know it’s insulting to presume they would be anything other than thrilled for us.
Does anyone have advice for telling infertile friends that you’re pregnant?