Last year, my two-word New Year’s resolution was simply FEEL LOVED… which was oddly terrifying. How can two words be so difficult?
And oof, wait until you hear my two words for this year…
Maybe the most obvious way to talk about individuation is to say that, in the context of my marriage, if there was a bad feeling, I would look to my spouse to help me with it. Over the years, this mean that basically I held him at least partially responsible for my sense of well-being. Then, suddenly, my sense of well-being was very much my responsibility alone… and ultimately, it always was.
After a month of tracking my addictive behaviors, it became clear that I had an compulsive habit. It just wasn’t pot… IT WAS MY FUCKING SMARTPHONE.
We all have so many things we know we SHOULD do, but ug it’s so hard to make the time to do new things… especially when we’re all so busy being stressed out, restlessly bored, vaguely miserable, generally unhappy, dealing with floating rage, or whatever your personal favorite miserable brain loop is.
But what if you used that misery to help you do something awesome?
There were a few books this year that changed my life — not in that hyperbolic “omg this cup of chai is like totally changing my life right now!” way, but as in these books completely shifted how I look at my existence, structure my days, manage my relationships, and handle my sanity. Like, these books actually changed my life this year.
What’s the thing that you MOST identify with? If you had to pick one quality that most defines who you are and everything you do, what would it be? And then what’s the opposite? And then what if YOU’RE TOTALLY WRONG ABOUT THAT?!
Here’s the favorite thing I learned at my midlife crisis workshop…
For me, my daily spiritual practice is a pretty personal, private thing. It makes me a little squeamish to share what I’m doing, but I’ve invested a lot of time into developing my personal spiritual practice this year, and so maybe sharing what I’m doing will be interesting to other folks on their own solo spiritual journeys…
This weekend I am doing one of the most cliche things I’ve ever done: I am going to a midlife crisis workshop. Let me pull back and say it even bigger: I am a white divorced 42-year-old mom, and I am going to a midlife crisis workshop. I built a literal empire on offbeatness, but the current reality is pretty fucking stereotypical: just a confused midlife white lady going through a midlife crisis, here! NICE TO MEET YOU.