self improvement

Two years of two-word resolutions

Last year, my two-word New Year’s resolution was simply FEEL LOVED… which was oddly terrifying. How can two words be so difficult?

And oof, wait until you hear my two words for this year…

Individuation: stumbling toward emotional self-reliance

Maybe the most obvious way to talk about individuation is to say that, in the context of my marriage, if there was a bad feeling, I would look to my spouse to help me with it. Over the years, this mean that basically I held him at least partially responsible for my sense of well-being. Then, suddenly, my sense of well-being was very much my responsibility alone… and ultimately, it always was.

Stoner vs Smartphoner: Examining compulsions and finding they’re not what you’d think

After a month of tracking my addictive behaviors, it became clear that I had an compulsive habit. It just wasn’t pot… IT WAS MY FUCKING SMARTPHONE.

Opposite Action: using negative emotional prompts for positive outcomes

We all have so many things we know we SHOULD do, but ug it’s so hard to make the time to do new things… especially when we’re all so busy being stressed out, restlessly bored, vaguely miserable, generally unhappy, dealing with floating rage, or whatever your personal favorite miserable brain loop is.

But what if you used that misery to help you do something awesome?

5 books that changed my life this year (no, like, ACTUALLY changed my life)

There were a few books this year that changed my life — not in that hyperbolic “omg this cup of chai is like totally changing my life right now!” way, but as in these books completely shifted how I look at my existence, structure my days, manage my relationships, and handle my sanity. Like, these books actually changed my life this year.

False dichotomies: What if the opposite of trying too hard isn’t being lazy?

What’s the thing that you MOST identify with? If you had to pick one quality that most defines who you are and everything you do, what would it be? And then what’s the opposite? And then what if YOU’RE TOTALLY WRONG ABOUT THAT?!

Here’s the favorite thing I learned at my midlife crisis workshop…