1.3k

Individuation: stumbling toward emotional self-reliance

Maybe the most obvious way to talk about individuation is to say that, in the context of my marriage, if there was a bad feeling, I would look to my spouse to help me with it. Over the years, this mean that basically I held him at least partially responsible for my sense of well-being. Then, suddenly, my sense of well-being was very much my responsibility alone… and ultimately, it always was.

1.2k

Projections: falling in love with ourselves through what we see in others

Projecting on people, when it's blind, is pretty unkind. But if can catch yourself projecting — it's actually a hugely useful tool for self reflection. If you can be awake enough to the illusion to understand that the real issue isn't really about the other person, but WHAT you're projecting on that person… then you gain access to some remarkable insight into your own values, your own growth edges, and your own story.

1.7k

Opposite Action: using negative emotional prompts for positive outcomes

We all have so many things we know we SHOULD do, but ug it's so hard to make the time to do new things… especially when we're all so busy being stressed out, restlessly bored, vaguely miserable, generally unhappy, dealing with floating rage, or whatever your personal favorite miserable brain loop is.

But what if you used that misery to help you do something awesome?