self improvement

How to get the perfect body in ONE step

I’m writing this because I just can’t anymore. But, actually you know what, I CAN even, and I need to say it…

Your body as you are experiencing it right now, even in your off white underwear and tank top possibly covered in a delicate layer of Doritos dust, is a feat of evolutionary wonderment. Your heart (I require you to place your hand on your chest right now) that heart, that dull thud you’re experiencing right this second, well that dull thud, according to Google, that precious organ began thumping its little chant for you a day after your the condom broke and your parents thought it was fine. A day. One day! That heart has been rooting for you since before your eyeballs existed. That beautiful little blood chucking muscle was been “thub-thubbing” for you since before your mama even knew you were there. It predates your brain. Love it. Mind it. Feel it. Trust it.

As for the rest of you, you have bones to support you, a brain making you “you,” muscles to kick ass left, right, and centre, eyes to see, and a voice — a voice that needs to be heard more. Heard louder and stronger than ever. Why?

Because there is a multibillion dollar industry ($445 billion to be exact) out there making bank from telling you that your body is not enough and by association that you are not enough. And we are buying it.

Frankly, fuck that.

Defying gender binaries with Alok Vaid-Menon — a gender non-conforming writer, performer, & fashion icon

Alok feels that the concepts of masculinity and femininity shouldn’t have relevance in this day and age. “We need to be much more colorful, expansive, and precise about what we mean rather than defaulting into ideological catchalls that do more harm than good,” he tells me.

Being that Alok is a person of color, I wonder if they feel that ethnicity/race ties into the equation in a meaningful way. Their reply is so profound that I’m still sort of reeling from it…

I’m a loud and proud hedonist. Here’s why you should be too…

Hedonists are labeled as greedy pleasure-seekers with no moral compass. But that’s such an archaic stereotype! In fact, the Church’s Seven Deadly Sins (lust, pride, sloth, greed, envy, wrath, gluttony) are basic human feelings that, as a hedonist, I feel we shouldn’t be shamed for.

How I made peace with the fact that I will never make my father happy

Realizing that I will never make my father happy was a very momentous revelation. And while I’m sure you’re all very happy for me, I couldn’t objectively understand the pressing urge to write my story. And yet, it wouldn’t stop. I needed to get this realization out there.

And then I finally understood why…

7 simple and (mostly) easy confidence boosters

From time to time, when I’m in the downward spiral of low self-esteem, these are my go-to confidence boosters. Hopefully they’ll be so easy that they’ll become yours too…

How to stay positive through a scary diagnosis

It’s so easy to slip into a cycle of hating your body when it’s not working properly. It’s easy to feel bitter, alone, resentful and just all-around negative and depressed when your body is unhealthy in ways beyond your control, and all of those feelings are completely valid. I’ve chosen to stay positive and live my life in spite of my diseases, which is totally more easily said than done. Here’s how I do it…

What I’m learning from dancing poorly

Inspired by a local dancer’s athletic performance in a show I saw years ago, I asked her if she would teach me some stuff. She said she would, and then I cried a lot because it’s really hard looking stupid and learning new things. METAPHOR ALERT!

The best “life-changing” books to give as gifts

My friend Tiffany asked this question to the interwebs:

“What is the best book you ever received as a gift or bought for yourself? Not a beach read, but one of those page turners that changed and/or improved your life.”

And the interwebs responded, and I thought I’d slurp them all up and deliver this comprehensive list of life-changing books to give as gifts. I’ll go first…