Trying to conceive: Is it hard having a birthday near a holiday?

Guest post by Kate
By: A♥CC BY 2.0
My husband and I are trying to conceive and it has been a rough road.

We’re fast approaching March which, should we be so lucky to actually conceive a healthy little embryo, would likely result in a December birthday.

People with birthdays close to the holidays often seem to feel cheated somehow and while I’m quite anxious to be pregnant I am stressing over this. I feel crazy for even asking, but (winter-holiday-celebrating) people with December birthdays, do you wish you had your own month?

I’m a spring baby and I love my birthday month, but in the grand scheme of things this is really not something that matters, right?

Comments on Trying to conceive: Is it hard having a birthday near a holiday?

  1. My husband and I have discussed this alot – we’re in the process of planning for #3 (which is a novel concept in itself since both #1 and #2 were happy accidents) and I told him we have to wait until after March. Although when I started to think about it, there are pros and cons for most months. Our daughter is born August 12th, and I already know getting her friends together for birthday parties in the future is going to be tough. Our son is October 13th, which was the day after Thanksgiving (we’re Canadian) the year he was born. For his first birthday, we had to push it to the next Saturday so that he got his own day instead of a the-family-is-already-together-for-Thanksgiving-so-here’s-a-present kind of celebration. If we did happen to have a Christmas baby, I think we’d just choose another unbirthday or half-birthday. Mine is in March, right in the middle of Spring Break, and I never went to school on it, which was kind of sad because I was always jealous of the kids who got all kinds of special attention on their birthdays. My favourite teacher was in third grade, where she let me pick another day to get the birthday crown, placemat, etc that she did for each student’s birthday. I always appreciated that thought in the years after.

  2. My birthday is on New Year’s Day and people always gave me Christmas/Birthday presents when I was a kid and teen. I’d get the gift on xmas and then when my birthday came around a week later. Nothing. Not even a birthday party. It sucked. Especially since everyone else that was a kid in my family got separate birthday and holiday gifts!

  3. I am in Ontario and my husband’s birthday lands in early August on a holiday up here where everyone goes away on vacation. He always hated that he could never have a party on his birthday because people were away.

    Meanwhile… I grew up where holidays, birthdays, you name it were “moved” for convenience, and I think that is a good way to grow up. Although I admit to being spoiled as an adult because I often take my birthday off, or even go on vacation that week!

    Our son is born in December, which I love, although it is so hectic, because he brings joy back into a time that previously was filled with so much stress and disappointment before. Now, it’s all about him, and he is a wonderful reminder of what is important especially at a time when we are bombarded with the unimportant.

  4. Wow, thanks for all the comments everyone! (And thanks Stephanie for posting my question.)

    It’s funny because birthdays weren’t/aren’t even that big of a deal in my family–we didn’t always have parties, presents often came late and unwrapped, and that has never really bothered any of us. That said, I’m glad to hear from so many people who love their near-holiday birthdays in both hemispheres (and also from those of you who don’t, thanks for your perspective too!)

    I’m also really glad to hear so many of you think half-birthdays are a good option–I thought about that but was wasn’t sure how it would feel to the actual celebrant.

    I know there are bigger problems in the world and I’m sure much of my anxiety around this is wrapped up in the other aspects of conceiving that aren’t going at all as planned, but thanks for all your great responses that don’t make me feel ridiculous for asking 🙂

  5. My birthday is Dec 21. When I was a little kid, my birthday party’s main event was decorating xmas cookies and the tree.

    Ditto what everyone has said about twofer gifts and wrapping paper.

    As an adult, I have celebrated my birthday in January for the last several years. Many of my friends are out of town visiting their families on my birthday. When I was in college, I often ended up flying home on my birthday.

    In the grand scheme of things, it certainly hasn’t ruined my life, but if I was trying for a baby I think I’d try to avoid having one in December.

    Oh, and another thing I’ve had – one of my uncles had a neo-pagan wedding a few years back, on my birthday. It’s the winter solstice and all. I don’t really mind sharing the day, but it was a little strange. But, what goes around comes around, because after we set our wedding date, I found out it will be on my aunt’s birthday (other side of the family, though).

  6. I’m a December 23rd baby. Growing up, my super-mom would plan my birthday party a week or two before my actual birthday. That way, I could celebrate with my friends without interfering with their holiday plans. On my actual birthday I would go out to dinner with close family and help my mom make x-mas cookies, it became a family tradition. I really enjoy being a near-christmas baby. It makes the holidays seem more special and since my family gathers for the holidays already, i get to spend my birthday with people who i wouldn’t see if I had a birthday some other time.

  7. My birthday is nine days after Christmas. When I was younger, it kind of bugged me when I’d get combo presents from my parents but as I got older, I realized it was pretty cool to get bigger gifts that might have been too big to warrant getting for just one occasion.
    The thing that REALLY bothered me was that I hated winter (still do!!) and the fact that I could never have a pool party. I always asked my parents if I could skip having a birthday party and have a half-birthday party instead. I guess that part doesn’t have as much to do with the holidays, I just hate the cold. Sometimes it was hard to convince kids to come to my birthday party the weekend after winter break, though. It just always seemed like a tough weekend.

  8. I have an early December birthday, and it sucks a bit. I’ve always had combo birthday + winter holiday presents, which is no real biggie, but the bigger issue (starting in high school, through college, and into grad school) is that 1) my birthday is always either during finals or the horrible ramp-up to finals and 2) my SO and I are already strapped for cash at that point in the year. As a result, my birthday is usually very low key and the party tends to end early.

  9. I have 2 december babies! One the 2nd and the other is the 16th. Oldest is only 2 so I don’t have years of advice or anything, but this is what we do and it seems to work out pretty well:
    For birthdays (all of ours not just the boys) we celebrate the PERSON by going/doing whatever it is THEY want to do that day, be it roam around downtown, bowl, or go see a movie…then for Christmas time it’s more about presents/food/family time.
    so far it has worked out very well 🙂

  10. My birthday is in December, and I don’t mind it nearly as much as I used to. The thing that bothered me as a child was that people would always try to mash my birthday gifts or celebration in with Christmas stuff, which strikes a young child as massively unfair. I mean, if a kid is born in April no one would dream of ignoring their birthday and then labeling the sweater under the Christmas tree “Happy birthday and Christmas!” Or of inundating said child with Holiday themed birthday gifts or parties, and expecting the kid to sit there with a grateful smile pasted on their face.
    It makes a child feel as though their birthday is an afterthought.

    So, as a parent, I think the best thing you can do is make it perfectly clear that your child still gets to have their own special birthday that’s entirely separate from holiday stuff.

  11. My bday is 12/27, my husband was born on Good Friday & our daughter was born on Easter Sunday. And I have several holiday baby friends. Boy, I could tell you a lot about this topic.

    What I’ve discovered over the years is that some people are fine with it and some people aren’t. Some people are good natured about it while others are bitter. In my humble opinion it really depends on the person & how they decide to view the world.

    My mom always went out of her way to make sure my birthday was a totally separate event and treated like a birthday should be treated. Sometimes we had to wait to have my party in January, but that was ok, so long as I had a party. My family was always really good about not giving me Christmas stuff for my birthday & that helped, too. Also, I’ve said for years that everyone is actually celebrating MY birthday & Jesus is just a hater who’s trying to steal my thunder.

    But we follow the same tradition with my daughter. Sometimes her bday is so close to Easter that we have to move her party so there will be enough kids available to come or if she really wants it ON her bday, then she knows that some kids won’t be able to come due to their beliefs.

    We are an atheist household, so neither of those holidays play apart in our lives anyway, but I have to make her aware of the reason some kids can’t come, and she understands and is ok with that.

    How your child will react to it will really depend on how you treat it. You don’t need to go overboard with presents, but just make sure it’s always treated like a separate and special day regardless of whatever other holiday it happens to be around, and I’m sure your child will cope just fine.

  12. My birthdays new years day. It meant when I was little no where was open, I couldn’t have a MacDonalds party like my friends or go out to the cinema. Some people tried the whole giving one gift for christmas and birthday thing.

    Would I change it? No. I had my 18th Birthday on the millennium, I get to spend the day when every one else is huge over walking with my partner. And as for presents, I’m at the age where I have enough junk that I’d be happy for you to donate some money to my favorite Charity.

    And if it snows on my Birthday, I am more giddy than most 4 year old’s 🙂

  13. I don’t like my December birthday, but it’s my parents’ fault. I always had smaller parties and fewer gifts than my August-born sister. A December birthday is fine, as long as you (the parent) don’t skimp on the celebration.

  14. I’m born on Australia Day, which is like the american fourth of july, but on January 26th.
    I really dislike it.. its a day when everyone is supposed to spend time with family but the streets end up full of drunks and their so much violence and crap going on I ussually don’t leave the house. I’ve never been able to have a birthday party, because even if it is on a weekday, most people will make ‘aus day’ plans for the weekend with the families. No-one remembers my birthday either. I’ve kinda stopped caring now, because I’m just fighting a losing battle with my culture. I have a four year old brother born 4 days before christmas and we all make a huge effort to make his birthday seperate and special to christmas so that he doesn’t have to go through the ‘heres your birthday and christmas present’ all rolled into one thing.

  15. My birthday is Valentine’s Day, which I think is kinda cute. But at the same time, its more difficult to go out to eat that night, and getting birthday flowers delivered to work is never quite as “ooo hey look at me someone loved me enough to send me flowers” because, um, everyone in the office gets flowers that day. But overall, I totally embrace my birthday. I like using the holiday as a deflection, hehe. When someone wishes me happy birthday, I have a built-in reply “Thanks, Happy Valentine’s Day”. I also like making my fiance feel loved by surprising him with silly Valentines stuff every couple years that way we’re not ALWAYS celebrating my birthday. Luckily for both of us, neither of us are big on celebrating stuff like anniversaries, birthdays, etc.

    Oh, P.S. I also like my name being Christmas-relateable. hehe I’m a dork.

  16. I am a December baby. I love it! Even though Christmas seems to take over the month. Having my birthday in December is a blessing, because when my family would go out to buy Christmas presents they would go get me a nice birthday present or even better a huge fantastic christmas/birthday present!!! And I would always get to see my family for my birthday or a little later on Christmas so there was always a wealth of birthday joy going around.
    Some of my friends who are summer babies would only have small birthdays where you can tell the few people who could come obviously got their gift at the gas station right before the party.
    In conclusion being a December baby is awesome! The only disadvantage to being a December baby is that I was never able to have a pool party birthday, but hey we cant have it all.

  17. My husband’s birthday is 12.18 and he always felt like he got shafted in the celebration area. So when our son was born on 12.22, we decided to give him a half-birthday party every year so he can still have a special day all his own. We are getting ready to have his 2.5 birthday party next week. It is much easier on us and he loves having a big party in the summer. We still do a small family cake and ice cream get together on his actual birthday. So far, this has worked well for our family.

  18. My birthday is a month after xmas, and I have gotten the occasional joint gift, but it has always worked to my advantage. Say, budget for my xmas gift is $50, and for my birthday gift it’s $20, but got a $100 bicycle that was wrapped with xmas paper on the front and bday paper on the back. I was just happy to have a bike!

    My mom one year ended up shelling out for car repairs for my dad, my brother, and myself–all in the two months preceding xmas. We all got dollar store Hot Wheels cars with a card that said “You were able to drive here today. Merry Christmas!” Not that it has anything to do with combined gifts, but a funny odd gift story nonetheless.

  19. Well this was posted some time ago, so I hope everything’s panned out for you already.

    But, I will say this – if it’s taking some time to conceive, you’ll be so grateful to get pregnant that a December birthday won’t even be in the top 100 concerns you’ll have, I bet.

    I always felt bad for my brother and his December 26th birthday – but apparently, it didn’t actually bother him at all! I had my own son on December 28th, and yeah, parts of that are annoying; but I put off his birthday party till January or February, when everything’s calmed down again and the budget’s had time to recover from Christmas, and it’s worked out pretty well for us.

    So, basically – Yes, in my experience, December birthdays are just fine.

  20. I didn’t read all the responses, but I second all the advice about making sure the bday is a separate celebration from holidays. Also, if you live somewhere cold, always have a backup plan for birthday parties…sometimes a blizzard will prevent everyone from making it to the bowling alley/skating rink/chuck e cheese, so be sure to have some at home activities prepared and hopefully some neighbor kids who can make it no matter how bad the roads are.
    It doesn’t hurt to allow for occasional summer parties too (mine were never specifically half birthdays, just fun parties at the lake that kind of made up for less than ideal party conditions in December.)

    Personally, I was thrilled to have a June due date, but now am ttc after a miscarriage…while I’d rather not give birth in winter or give my child a winter birthday, it’s not enough of a concern for me to stop trying. Don’t stress over it, just know that a few considerations can make December birthdays a lot better!

Read more comments

Join the Conversation