Trying to conceive: Is it hard having a birthday near a holiday?

Guest post by Kate
By: A♥CC BY 2.0
My husband and I are trying to conceive and it has been a rough road.

We’re fast approaching March which, should we be so lucky to actually conceive a healthy little embryo, would likely result in a December birthday.

People with birthdays close to the holidays often seem to feel cheated somehow and while I’m quite anxious to be pregnant I am stressing over this. I feel crazy for even asking, but (winter-holiday-celebrating) people with December birthdays, do you wish you had your own month?

I’m a spring baby and I love my birthday month, but in the grand scheme of things this is really not something that matters, right?

Comments on Trying to conceive: Is it hard having a birthday near a holiday?

  1. My birthday is in November, so I never really had to worry about it being too close to Christmas. But, a few times I DID get a joint Birthday/Christmas gift and I loved it! It usually meant one really big, nice thing. If your kid ends up with a birthday close to Christmas, don’t completely rule out the joint gift thing. He/she might be excited about it.

  2. I like my August 3rd birthday– but when I was growing up I never had awesome birthday parties because people go out of town the first week in August. I think there must be something wrong with every week in the year.

  3. I was born on 25 December. As a kid it was awesome: no school, birthday cake AND pie.

    As an adult it sometimes bothers me: why do I have to do what everyone else wants on MY birthday? So, I just make unreasonable demands and usually get a free pass on cleaning up after Christmas dinner. 😀 Oh and no work!

    Having my birthday on Christmas day is fine for me. I obviously don’t know any thing else! I think my parents did a great job of helping me to feel ‘special’. I don’t feel like I missed out on anything.

    The *only* think that is routinely…bothersome, is when I have to announce my birthday. I’m shy, and it *always* brings some amount of unwanted attention/cooing/aaaahhing/asking questions. When I call about insurance, when I sign up at the hospital, when I get carded at the bar…the same conversation over and over! But that’s a personal thing and your kiddo would probably be much more socialised and well adapted than I am :p

    • What a great post. =) I had my son on Christmas Day and I’m always trying to get advice from those that share that day on how to make it work for him.

      I can appreciate the cooing and ahhhing. People do this to me when I’m signing him up for things… so I can’t imagine when it’s him sharing the info.

  4. My fiance’s birthday is christmas day and he doesn’t mind it at all. We celebrate xmas then at 6pm its his birthday and he gets cake and presents. I don’t really ‘do’ christmas so I love to make a big deal about his birthday!

  5. One thing I haven’t seen (sorry if I missed it in my skimming!) is half birthdays. My birthday is December 23, and I share a lot of the complaints people have already said.
    But my parents made sure, growing up, to celebrate my half birthday on June 23rd. It was right after school got out in New York, the perfect time for a party.
    My sister is Nov 26th, so we did both enjoy hardly ever or never going to school on our birthdays and also being surrounded by family (which made gifts a bit more compulsory than if they had lived far away, something we appreciated as kids).

  6. I agree with the ideas on how to make holidays and holiday-season birthdays separate (no 2-in-1 presents, birthday wrapping paper only, etc.) My husband’s birthday is the day after Christmas, and he’s always liked it because it extends the holiday and when he was in college his high school friends would always be home with him to celebrate.

  7. I am a Summer holiday December baby… can i still comment? 😉

    but seriously has been awesome all my life. School is out for months, its usually steaming hot summer, christmas and New Year, all rolled into one. Worth waiting all year for!

  8. My b’day is January 3rd. The upside was as a kid I usually got at least two and sometimes three parties over the holidays (1 with the parents and sibs on the actual day and another with whichever side of the family we were visiting for Christmas that year). As a young adult I discovered that everyone was tired and broke by the time my b’day came along so I started making sure everyone around me knew my b’day was important to me so that it didn’t get lost in the shuffle. I would usually do a countdown, starting somewhere in November. People can only hear you say, “54 days to my birthday!” so many times before they get the idea that this isn’t an occasion that should get rolled into Christmas and New Years. As long as you make it special for your little one and they know it’s their special day it won’t matter which day it falls on.

  9. I am December 28th, and I think there have been pros and cons for me. Pros: in my 28 years of life, I have been away from my family only twice-once when I started a new job and had no vacation and then the first birthday after I got married. Cons: Being perfectly between Christmas and New Years pretty much means it’s a hard time for people outside your family to celebrate with you.

    I have an amazing mother who always made my birthday about my birthday…the Christmas decor was almost always out of sight by December 28th, no Christmas wrapping on my gifts, etc.

    My family is very close, and so only celebrating with them and a couple close friends was perfect. And, my mom always let me have a separate tea party or pool party in the summer.

  10. As a kid, having a birthday on December 23 meant that I had very few “friend” parties, but we always had a family party with both sets of grandparents and a big dinner. I liked that I got to open some presents a day early while my brothers still had to wait, but that was really the only perk.

    I hate that people have often said “I only got you one present, but it’s for your birthday AND Chrsitmas!” I was 30 before it occured to me to say “Oh, well I’m doing the same for you.”

    I’ve always been a little jealous of my hubby with his birthday in January and my brother with his in February because if they don’t get something they want for Christmas, they know to ask for it for their birthday. 🙂

  11. i was born in November right before thanksgiving. it sucks! it’s so hard to do anything for my birthday because most people are out of town. plus, i don’t like sharing 🙂

  12. My husbands birthday is December 28th and he claims that he doesn’t mind but he also hates it was when anyone makes a big about his birthday at all. He always seems to feel like he is burdening people with his birthday. Maybe this has to do with other things in his life but I think it’s probably the birthday. Either way though I definitely don’t think its affected him as a person in general. I always think that having a small celebration on the real birthday and then a real birthday party on their half birthday in the summer would be a good idea. Best of both worlds!

  13. We skipped inseminating in March last year because my Dad’s birthday is 12/28 and he’s always hated it. As a kid in the 50s people weren’t good about giving him separate gifts. Now that he’s an adult, he’s really hard to shop for and we have to buy two presents for him at the same time. He does benefit now though from the two-in-one gifts, especially when my sister and I did not have much earning power after graduating from college. Still, we are always careful to get him at least a card for his birthday if we bought him one large gift. And the separate wrapping paper is a must. Just this last year I was careful to point out the purple ribbon and white paper on his present lest he think I just used red like for all the Christmas gifts. One thing that is nice though is that his birthday makes a nice excuse to get together and celebrate Christmas again if my sister and I spent the holiday with in-laws.

  14. I know this is more geared towards december holidays so my case is a little different. I am a fourth of July baby and I love it!! the whole country is celebrating and I get fireworks awesome. When nI was tiny my uncles would tell me everyone was celebrating my birthday needless to say I had a hearty sense of self worth (another way of saying I thought the world revolved around me lol). It is awesome and warm and I love it!

  15. My birthday’s Dec 24, although it’s a little different because I’m Jewish. As a kid, it was actually kind of nice that my family was celebrating when other families were celebrating. I think if my family had just stayed home and done nothing while everyone else I knew was celebrating Christmas, it would have been a lot harder for me as a kid.

    That said, the only big parties I’ve ever had were combo parties, usually combination birthday/New Years parties. It definitely sucks that there’s no one to call on your birthday because everyone’s busy with their own families.

    But you learn to deal with it, you know? My birthday is my day to take some time for myself in the middle of what’s usually a very busy month. I’ll get outside if the weather’s okay, or huddle up with a good book and hot chocolate if it’s not. It’s my time to reflect on the past year and what I want for the future. I wouldn’t trade it for any big summertime bash. You just have to widen your expectations of what a birthday can mean.

  16. I was due Dec. 25th, but came about a week early. I really enjoy having a winter birthday, and the proximity to holidays has never been an issue. First, I’m Jewish, so Christmas is a non-issue anyway. Second, even when my birthday falls during Hanukah, because Hanukah is not the same kind of overwhelming, all-encompassing holiday in my family that I see Christmas being in other families, any overlap was never a big deal. I always got birthday presents separate from Hanukah presents growing up, and it’s not like my friends couldn’t attend a birthday party during Hanukah.

    My brother was also due Dec. 25th, and ended up coming late, on Jan 2nd. I think he’s had a harder time of it growing up, because scheduling birthday parties with friends has always been an issue. Many people are not back in town yet from their winter holiday trips, and as we got older, many folks are still recovering from New Year’s parties at that time. He regularly had parties a week and a half after his birthday, closer to when his friends had returned for the new school semester.

    The difference in our experiences I think stems from the school holiday schedule. School was a huge part of our lives as kids, being the source of most of our friends & social life, etc. My birthday was just before most schools’ winter break, whereas my brother’s was during winter break.

    But, as was commented above, if you’re going to worry about school breaks, that takes out way too much of the year. So, don’t worry and have fun! : )

  17. My birthday is the 28th of December and in school I was always the youngest person in the grade. My parents always had a separate birthday party which was great and when I got older and could go to bars, I enjoyed having my birthday during the holidays. Friends always came back home for the holidays and my best friend’s birthday was the 27th. We turned the week from boxing day to new years into a party week.

    For those with children during the holidays, make the birthday a special event separate from Christmas and it will work out fine.

  18. My MIL’s birthday is the 29th of December. With Christmas and New Year’s bookends, it often gets lumped together or just overlooked. My husband’s birthday is on Halloween, so he gets the same. Although this year, we were able to get some friends out for a surprise party, which also included Halloween traditions. He’s pretty much embodies Halloween, so it works. However, it was an issue when he was a kid. Everyone went trick-or-treating instead of celebrating with him, or, even worse, were banned from both. He must be evil since Halloween is Satan’s holiday. Bible belt. Bleh.

  19. Novemeber 23rd, here. My birthday is on or near Thanksgiving, and since I work in retail I’m usually busting my ass all the surrounding days. However, I kind of love it. Thanksgiving is pretty much my favorite holiday, but I don’t know if that’s because I associate it with my birthday or not, but the only time it ever bugged me was when I was in school and my birthday was rarely on a school day so I never got to be the birthday kid, but neither did anyone born in the summer, so it’s doesn’t seem like a reason to avoid having a December baby specifically.

    My sister’s birthday is late October, and my dad’s is in mid-December, so mixed with Halloween and Christmas, it’s was always just an end-of-the-year festival of awesome as far as my family was concerned. I’m actually a little weirded out that my kiddo is due in July (which also contains my hubby’s birthday and our anniversary). I kind of just assumed that I would have my kids sometime in between September and January because that’s where everything important happens. I guess I am branching out.

    Okay, this comment contained absolutely no advice whatsoever.

  20. My birthday (like so many other people, wow!) is dec 23rd. Growing up, I loved my birthday and still do! I have to admit, I liked the attention I got when I told someone my b-day. I could always proudly say that I got separate gifts, celebration and etc. My mom has always been good at that as my brother was born jan 6th. I always felt like it was a special day! Also, depending on when I saw people, some christmas’ became an entire week of present getting! So fun when you are little.

    It’s also a great feeling to get a b-day gift from someone, and then give a christmas gift right away in return!

    Also, I’ve never minded if someone gave a gift wrapped in christmas paper. You’re giving me a gift you took the time to wrap at all, I’m happy! No big deal.

    The only thing I could possible complain about is the fact that there’s a bit of a celebration dry spell the rest of the year, but my mom just made the smaller holidays a little more involved to make up for it. For example, a small gift on easter instead of just chocolate or nothing at all.

    My birthday is spent with family, off from work, with no school for two weeks and right after final exams. Everyone always wants to party with me! The only problem seems to be sometimes I’m really hungover on christmas haha.

  21. My little sisters birthday is 11 days after Christmas (she was due Christmas day but held on!) Mum and Dad used to put up a smaller, second tree to put her birthday presents under, we called it her birthday tree. That seemed to be enough to keep her happy! Also here in Australia you have 5-6 weeks holidays over Christmas for the summer so you never have to go to school on your birthday, sounds like a pretty good deal to me 🙂

  22. My two brothers, twins, were born on New Year’s Day. They have very mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, they almost always have had their birthday off from school or work, and so did at least one close loved one, so they could always have a special day. On the other hand, on top of getting the “for sharing” presents that twins unfortunately often do, they also did get their fair share of combination birthday/Christmas presents, which sucked.

    My husband was born on December 13th, and he says he’d never wish that on his own kids. Primarily because he hates cold weather! But, his due date was in late November, so it’s not like his parents planned for it!

    For my part, I do think it takes a bit more effort planning for birthdays that are very close to the holidays, in terms of making them special for the person. But then again, MANY birthdays have significant drawbacks. I was born on August 26th, and it was frequently the first or second day of school for me! Bleh.

    There are also so many variables that can change your kid’s due date. I wouldn’t sweat it too much either way 🙂

  23. my birthday is december 6th, and I kind of wish it wasn’t. My mother always made an effort to celebrate my birthday separately from christmas, but in the past few years, christmas starts showing up in november. Most people don’t feel like celebrating my birthday because they are busy with holiday preparations, and I’M usually too busy to celebrate myself. ever since high school (so HS, college and now my master’s program) my birthday falls on or right before finals week . . . everyone is studying, and no one has time to go out. my past two birthdays, i’ve been working too hard on final projects to do anything.

    Also, I know this is silly, but i always wanted to have a pool party for my birthday- not possible in december!

  24. I was born Dec 1st and it was ok. I rarely had the irritating experience of receiving ‘combo-gifts’ from family. Can’t say the same for friends, and birthday parties were always a pain to plan due to the winter weather they always had to be ‘indoor’ parties/events and money was tight for friends parents with Christmas coming up. But I grew up just fine!

    My Grandma’s birthday was 25th Dec so the rules were: give two separate gifts, always give a birthday card, remember to phone up in the morning and say “happy birthday” and to have a separate birthday cake with candles at whoevers house she was invited to for the day-even if it just a small one.

    For me I’m a bit concerned that My baby’s due mid June and if it comes on time it’ll be sharing the month with 5 other relatives (my mum, dad, adult cousin, one niece and one little nephew).
    My mother-in-law has already told me that the 3 little ones will be enjoying a joint family-only summer party and then its up to us parents to arrange separate children parties. It’s going to be an expensive month for everyone but I don’t think anyone will be forgotten gift wise.

    • My daughter was born this past December and shares a birthday month with her uncle, three of our friends and 2 of our friends kids. At the very least I wanted her to have her own birthDAY and was lucky to have her on the one days that wasn’t already occupied. I am sure there will be some combined parties in the future but I want her to have her own special day too. It will be interesting to see how things unfold in the future.

  25. My brother was born on December 15th and we did the same thing every year. He picked out a restaurant that he wanted to eat at and we all went as a family to dinner. After dinner we went to pick out a Christmas tree together and then we returned home to decorate it, eat cake (he got to pick what he wanted on it) and he opened his gifts. It was an exiting day for the whole family and I know that he wouldn’t have had it any other way. I recently had my daughter on December 17th and plan on continuing the tradition with her.

Read more comments

Join the Conversation