Trying to conceive: Is it hard having a birthday near a holiday?

Guest post by Kate
By: A♥CC BY 2.0
My husband and I are trying to conceive and it has been a rough road.

We’re fast approaching March which, should we be so lucky to actually conceive a healthy little embryo, would likely result in a December birthday.

People with birthdays close to the holidays often seem to feel cheated somehow and while I’m quite anxious to be pregnant I am stressing over this. I feel crazy for even asking, but (winter-holiday-celebrating) people with December birthdays, do you wish you had your own month?

I’m a spring baby and I love my birthday month, but in the grand scheme of things this is really not something that matters, right?

Comments on Trying to conceive: Is it hard having a birthday near a holiday?

  1. My sister was born December 20, however our mother (born on the 23) was adamant about keeping the two celebrations separate, so it was never a big deal. Most of her friends were on vacation and missed her parties.

    However, I was born in August in a holiday deadzone, and most of my friends were on vacation and missed my parties. I don’t think it matters either way.

    Besides, if you play your cards right you could end up with a New Years Eve baby who gets fireworks and a big party every year. I knew someone born on 12/31 who loved it.

  2. I have a sister with a post-Christmas birthday … she is actually the ONLY person I am related to whose birthday present is in non-Christmas wrap. Everyone else gets Christmas wrap. Even in July. I’m not good at buying wrapping. So that’s the one big thing. 🙂

    As for having birthdays during holidays when people aren’t around, mine often falls over spring break. Kids with summer birthdays miss out too. It’s not that big a deal in the grand scheme, I don’t think.

    Another one of my siblings shares my birthday. Again, not that big a deal as long as the kids feel individually special and you don’t MAKE it a bad thing. I’m always amused when people get all huffy about their birthday being THEIR day and no one else can have ANYTHING on it … the very first birthday I remember was my parents abandoning me to grandma to go to the hospital! It was a very early lesson in the fact that the world doesn’t stop on one’s birthday. 🙂 Honestly the only bummer is that now we’re adults, I DON’T always get to spend my birthday with my same-birthday sibling!

  3. yeah, it kind of sucks! but only now that we’re adults…our son’s birthday is right before halloween, my birthday is right before thanksgiving, and my husband’s birthday is christmas eve. with all the shopping crowds, it makes it impossible to shop for party stuff & presents, plus everyone else already has plans for the holidays.

    for me & hubby it’s not really a big deal anymore because we don’t celebrate our birthdays much. i don’t think we’ve been emotionally scarred or anything. i’d love to have a spring birthday, or for my son to – it would make it easier (and cheaper) to have his party at a park or somewhere open, sunny and free (can’t do that at the end of october in wa state..have to rent a community hall/venue)! plus, the fact that we’re all lined up – october, november, december – during the most expensive time of year – wreaks havoc on our poor bank account.

  4. ^Small world!

    My son was born on Halloween, and because I hated my birthday as a kid, we’re going above and beyond to make sure he will have the most rocking birthdays ever. (Timing sucks though, for sure, in terms of bank account… we have Sept, Oct, and Dec.)

    As for me, I have the same story as Frances. December 31st sucked as a kid for exactly the reasons mentioned, my mom could’ve made it better or prevented the suck by planning ahead or letting me celebrate in the summertime. Half birthdays are the bomb, but I didn’t get to have one. Do what you can to make your kiddo feel special, (without making yourself crazy over it, that is) and you’ll be fine.

  5. My sister was born on Canada Day (July 1), which isn’t as big a deal as Christmas, but she seems to not mind. My dad used to tell her the fireworks were for her. The holiday doesn’t ever overshadow that it’s her birthday, it just makes it all the more fun, and everyone usually has her birthday off work!

  6. My birthday is the day before Valentine’s Day, so not even a major holiday, but I did find it kind of annoying when I was growing up. The biggest reason is that every birthday party I ever had seemed to either be be cancelled because of some huge snowstorm, or all my friends had the flu so nobody showed up. I guess those are really just general winter season problems, though February truly does seem to be the doldrums of the year for many people. Finally, I don’t know if it’s directly related, but I am totally one of those people who finds Valentines Day annoying and overrated–I wouldn’t be surprised if it was due to residual feelings of my birthday being “upstaged” as a kid.

    • My birthday IS Valentine’s Day, and I felt the opposite. I was really into the holiday as a kid and loved giving Valentines, etc. Now it’s kind of annoying that it’s hard to get a dinner reservation on my birthday, but my husband and I don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day so that the holiday/birthday thing isn’t a big deal. And I’m not big into parties, so it’s not a problem to celebrate quietly at home or with my family.

      I can see why people would find V-Day overrated – it is a made-up holiday with a lot of crap that goes with it. It bums me out that so many people are grumpy on my birthday though. April 15 would probably be a tough birthday too. 🙂

  7. Another December baby weighing in: I’m Dec 30, which, of course, has its ups & downs.

    Pros: It’s yet another day that we celebrate and there’s all sorts of good stuff (cake, presents, etc.) It definitely helps to extend the holiday spirit and, since I’ve always taken my birthday off (when I could), it’s like an extra-long vacation.

    The down side: I live in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada – my birthday generally falls during a cold snap where it’s -30 Celsius (or lower) and people don’t want to come out. Plus, with it being the night before New Year’s, I’ve also had people tell me they can’t afford to come out 2 nights in a row.

    The gist: Again, it’s all what you make of it. My parents always made sure to celebrate my birthday separate from Christmas. The friends that want to make it out do (and they’re usually the ones I’m closest to, anyway). Having my birthday after Christmas usually means that I get great deals, because of gift cards and the continuing Boxing Day/post-Christmas markdowns. All in all, I like my birthday where it is just fine. :0)

  8. I’m a 12/27 baby, which definitely had its cons: birthday parties where only one friend could come, and, later in college, never being around my friends for birthday celebrations. However, I agree with most of the commenters – make sure the two occasions are distinct. This past year was the first time my birthday felt miles away from Christmas, because Christmas was with my girlfriend’s family, and my birthday was just the two of us at home (three states away).

    Just a note – holiday birthdays aren’t that bad, unless there are lots of them! My mom had my half-sister on 12/30 the year I turned 14, and my half-brother 12/21 just before I turned 18. Yeah, I tell her not to drink the water in March. The last ten days of December are crazy.

  9. I’m lucky enough to have a birthday that falls near or on Thanksgiving. This was always great as a kid, since because everyone was gathering for Thanksgiving dinner, they all felt obligated to get me a birthday present so they didn’t look like the odd one out. bwahahahaha!!! On the flipside, I end up spending a big chunk of my birthday money on Christmas presents lol

  10. I’m glad to see everyone putting such a positive spin on Holiday Birthdays. I always hated my December 29th birthday. No one comes to a party in between Christmas and New Years.I don’t even try to have a party now, I’m just happy if my husband remembers!

  11. My younger sister’s birthday is December 29th, and my family always made a conscious effort to give her her own day of celebration. We would always celebrate on her actual birthday, and then do a separate day for her friend’s or extended family.

    Once, a few of my not-so-smart relatives gave her a joint Christmas-birthday present (given on Christmas) when she was really little, and she cried because, to her, it was JUST a Christmas present, because she didn’t have anything from them on her birthday. My parents put a quick stop to that.

    But she loves her birthday, because she’s always with friends and family, and she’s on holiday…so she doesn’t need to work or anything.

    My older sister though, didn’t like her birthday as a kid. Her birthday was August 26th. And she hated it because we were usually on holiday, or our family and friend’s were on holiday. While we always celebrated her birthday no matter where we were…she was upset that more often than not, she couldn’t celebrate with extended family or friends.

  12. My birthday is Independence Day in the United States. Sure, not the same as a Christmas birthday (my friends with birthdays around that time ALL complain… and pretty much every gift-giving holiday!) but it’s still sucky sometimes.
    First, everyone assumes that the theme color of the holiday are your favorite colors. Then, your friends are all too busy to celebrate on your birthday. As a kid, that sucks! BUUUUUT… as I’ve gotten older, it’s gotten cooler. First, no one forgets my birthdate (even if they’re too busy to celebrate with me.) And second, my birthdays last for-freakin-ever! Since most people can’t see me on the date, the weekends before and after are filled with well-wishes and gifts, dragged out for up to a month. That’s awesome!

    I feel like the important thing is to make a clear distinction in celebrating your child’s birthday and celebrating the holiday. Don’t try to have Christmas Day/Birthday dinner. Make it special, and IN NO WAY include the decor of the holiday in the birthday celebration. And do not double-duty your gifts! If you can’t afford a lot of presents, just be sure to wrap certain gifts FOR your child’s birthday and present them separately from the winter holiday.

  13. My birthday is the 26th of December. I actually hate it. Quite a lot. My birthday is always lost in the holiday shuffle. I usually get birthday wishes and presents the second week in January, when everyone remembers. My close family is cool about it though, and I always get separate gifts for each day. But everyone else always gets me a combination gift, which is the worst thing in the world. Most of the time it’s just an after thought, too, like, “Oh, your birthday was the day after Christmas? Uhm, well, that present was for Christmas aaannnddd your birthday… Yeahhh.” I mean, you don’t do that to anyone who has a birthday is in the summer. I would rather someone say they didn’t get my anything for my birthday than try to cover it up with a Christmas gift. It’s just rude. Also, Christmas is a big family holiday, so people want to spend time with their loved ones(which is totally understandable), but I’ve never had a birthday party. I guess I’m being really stubborn, but I don’t want a birthday party that’s no where near my birthday. I know I probably sound really ridiculous and all, but it’s become a touchy subject my whole life when most of the people in my life never remember my birthday. Maybe I’ll come to terms with it eventually, but it just seems to get worse every year.

  14. You’re not crazy for wondering! I think about it for our future baby all the time. My birthday is mid-January and I still felt like it got thrown in with Christmas (especially for extended family – so I can’t imagine being any closer to the actual holiday.) Plus my brother is a week ahead of me- meaning I couldn’t talk about my birthday until his was over… so if I can help it- I’m hoping to have a spring/summer baby since everyone else we know is between Aug and Jan. That being said, a baby would be a blessing at anytime – and as you grow up you just deal with whatever your birthday is!

  15. It’s not Christmas, but my birthday is on Independence Day and, while I loved always seeing fireworks on my birthday and having star-themed birthday parties every year, it was kind of a pain to have a birthday party on a day when all the other parents wanted to take their kids to the lake or family reunions. I didn’t have a birthday party ON my birthday until I was in my twenties. Still, every year we go to my husband’s family gettogether and I have to see my friends either the weekend before or the weekend after. I love it, but there are some drawbacks. The very best part about being born in the middle of the year is that I only have to wait 6 months in either direction for presents! 🙂

    In your case, depending on how close to Christmas your baby is born, other children might be out of town visiting grandparents or their parents may opt out of letting them go to your child’s birthday party because they can’t afford to buy a present with Christmas coming up.

  16. We conceived last year in late March early April. We all thought that the baby would be born early (she was big), so I hoped for a 31st birthday. I figured she’d have the most awesome parties every year. She ended up being late (and 10 lbs) and born mid way through January (4 weeks today). I think BOTH December and January would have been good months for her!

  17. While I don’t have any holiday babies, I do have twins, and I thought that it would kind of suck to have to share your day and cake (and sometimes even gifts) with your brother, so we celebrate birthdays AND half birthdays to make sure there’s enough party to go around. We liked it so much, we’ve started doing it for everyone in the family! All of our birthdays are fall-ish (Aug/Sep/Oct), so it’s nice to have an excuse to party in the spring too. 🙂 I also like what Josie said about just celebrating the half birthday.

  18. My husband was born on New Year’s Eve and has never had an issue with that date. When he was younger, his parents made sure to celebrate both days. And they would ask him (when he got a bit older) if he wanted combined large gifts or smaller uncombined gifts. Now that he’s older, he’s just happy there’s always a party to go to!

  19. I’m a Thanksgiving week baby in a family that does combined Thanksgiving/Christmas, so it’s almost like being a Christmas baby too!

    My tip for Thanksgiving babies is to never, ever, ever put birthday candles in the remains of a Turkey carcass, unless you want to make a 10-year-old cry. Seriously. Candles in the whole turkey, however, usually goes over pretty well!

  20. My birthday is January, 9, exactly two weeks after Christmas. One good thing about that is if you don”t get what you wanted for Christmas, you can drop some anvil-sized hints around and you might get it for your birthday. (This seemed to work better as a child than as an adult. ;))
    I agree with the comments about the holiday wrapping paper and the combination gifts. Don’t treat a child’s birthday as an afterthought.

  21. My sister’s birthday is the 26th and to the best of my knowledge she has never been bothered by it – she was always thrilled by the prospect of getting gifts two days in a row! As part of our Christmas-birthday tradition, we would visit our grandmother on Christmas and then during the drive back home, we would go through the neighborhoods that were decorated and tell her that everyone left their lights up because they wanted to celebrate her birthday too. She always got a big kick out of that 🙂

    Now that she’s in her twenties, we sometimes give her her birthday presents on Christmas, and she seems to be fine with that as well. (When this happens it’s usually because she has plans with her friends for her birthday.)

    Long story short – It shouldn’t be a problem.

  22. I’m a January baby, my birthday is 12 days after Christmas. As a kid growing up I hated it. My birthday was always spent taking down the Christmas decorations my birthday gifts were always joint Christmas/birthday, something my brothers never got or I’d have to wait till after my birthday, and even if I had my party a month early no one would come as they either couldn’t afford to or they were out Christmas shopping.

  23. My son was born on New Year’s Eve, and I am SO STOKED he has such a cool birthday. We aren’t big on giving “stuff” but choose to focus on experiences. This year, he turned one and got a small gift. I don’t plan on worrying about wrapping paper (I have an early January b-day and it never bothered me). We started out the day by decorating his room with balloons, streamers and hand-drawn posters and then had a breakfast of rainbow pancakes. We had a family dance party to the Beatles’ birthday song–all traditions we hope to carry on. This year, in lieu of a party, we took him outside at midnight and released sky lanterns, watched the fireworks being set off in the neighborhood, and banged pots and pans. We had immediate family over the next day to celebrate his first birthday (on 1-1-11!) with cake. In short, make it about the experiences and traditions… you really can’t change what day you’re born on, but you can change what day you celebrate! I can’t wait until he’s older, what a freaking cool day to have a birthday!

  24. My birthday’s in the first week of January. It was mostly fine when I was a kid because it was its own celebration, and most relatives didn’t try to do combination gifts. My mom is a bargain-hunter and always got good deals on after-Christmas sales, so I got a few more gifts than I otherwise would have since she bought by dollar amount, not quantity. Unfortunately, my birthday was always either one of the last days of break or one of the first days of school, so people were grumpy about that.

    I like it less now that I’m older and can’t be home for birthdays. My birthday is lumped in with Christmas, and people just hand me a combo check over the holidays since I don’t have luggage space for gifts. Then my husband and I go to our own city and make a special dinner, but after almost a month and a half of special holiday dinners and a more adult attitude toward sugary junk food it just feels like the home stretch toward the finish line when we just want to take down the damn decorations and eat plain meals again, but feel obligated to make my day special. It was definitely better as a kid when one more celebration is awesome because someone else was doing the planning and work, and you can eat mounds of cake and ice cream without feeling hung over the next day. But I really can’t complain too much 🙂

  25. I was born on Thanksgiving, which means my birthday always falls the week of. It stinks. No one ever remembered it growing up and now my friends are always busy with their families. Of course my 21st birthday fell ON Thanksgiving, so I spent it eating turkey and having a glass of champagne at home with my parents (big whoop, they let me have alcohol since I was 15). It is a lonely birthday for me every year. I know my parents never cared, they were so happy to have me and loved me up so much from the time I was born that the holiday factor was low on the priority list. Cest la vie.

    That being said, my baby is due March 20th. I am just hoping that Passover stays in April the rest of his life so he doesnt have to forgo a birthday cake on his birthday one of these years. But he is very wanted no matter what and will be loved up as much as I was (and his daddy’s birthday is March 12 so he has lots of company)!

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