My partner and I have been together six years, and married for two. We are finally both in steady full time (dream) jobs. We have been desperate to start a family for years. We feel that we have the stability, as well as emotional and financial resilience to do so. We are lucky enough to live in Australia with access to high quality free health care, and I am fortunate to work in an extremely flexible and family-friendly work place.
However, we are finding it difficult to cope with the opinions of family members as to our readiness. They cannot understand our rush to be parents at 25, and have no problem conveying this with sometimes very personal criticism. I understand their concern, and respect their expertise, however it is a very personal choice which they at one time made with their own strong motivations. They did not share the challenges that we face to start a family (as a same-sex couple we started on this journey some time ago, and are only just at the stage where we could possibly conceive within six months).
My question is how to address this, and communicate our need for our decision to be respected and even supported. I work in an extremely challenging area of social work, and received solid training in counselling and communication at university. I’m good at this stuff. Yet like most people, I cannot challenge my own mother on her opinions of me without being reduced to an emotional mess, thus reenforcing her position.
How did you break through that divide between parent and child, to become a parent yourself? — Blossom