On two women and the family they adopted before they could adopt their own

Guest post by Parentwin
Photo by Arguedas Photography
Photo by Arguedas Photography

Once upon a time, the economy crashed. My husband was laid off, and I started working more than an hour away for very little money. My husband stayed home all day looking for work and taking care of our infant twins. We were stretched to the max, and then two wonderful women named Elisa and Andrea came into our lives.

At the time, I hardly knew them — they were friends of a friend, and all I knew during that tumultuous time was that they loved children. My friend suggested that they might be able to help with childcare, to at least give one or both of us a break every so often. I didn’t have any money to pay them, but they didn’t want money.

I only knew them in passing — in all the times we’d seen each other, I’ve never really reached out in friendship, though we were friendly enough. You know the difference. The “Hey, how are you,” acquaintance versus a friend. They didn’t care that we weren’t close. These two extremely driven, working, successful women started stopping by my house (out of their way, mind you), to watch my infants and give my husband a break in the evenings once a week. Just because.

Just fucking because.

To this day, my husband refers to them as our lifeline. That seemingly small favor they did us (for an extended period of time, out of the goodness of their hearts), kept him sane. It really did.

And now it’s time.

Now it’s time to look at what we are doing. At what we are saying. That two women or two men can’t get married, don’t have the right to access human rights. The bond these two share is as strong as any hetero marriage I’ve witnessed, and honestly, stronger than most of those.

While they were sitting for us, Elise and Andrea had applied for Connecticut’s foster program. And they waited months and months for approval. And every time they got close, something happened, something delayed it. Then when they were finally approved they got put on a list. It was heartwrenching. It almost brought Elise to tears a few times when we spoke about it. They just wanted a family — not only a family for themselves, but to create a family for a child who was waiting for them.

Through the foster program, Elise and Andrea eventually took in a little boy. Then his little sister. Then his baby sister. Three siblings staying together because Connecticut allows gay couples to parent children. Because gay couples are fucking people. And you know what else?

They adopted the kids. All three. These three children have a life full of love, laughter and happiness because that is what Elise and Andrea provide. That is who they are. That is what they do.

Comments on On two women and the family they adopted before they could adopt their own

  1. Reading this was a great start to my day! I will never understand to my dying day why marriage equality is even an issue?! Love is love, and sexual persuasion really has nothing to do with that. Those 3 children are very lucky indeed, as I’m sure their mommy’s feel pretty lucky too!

  2. I must say, the expletives weren’t needed and they took away from your sentiment and your credibility. What would have otherwise been lovely piece, was marred by Fbombs. Congrats to you lady friends and to you as well, for having the blessing – of them.

    • I disagree with your sentiment completely. I cannot wrap my mind around your reasoning that because this author dropped a few F-bombs, her and her husband may have not gone through a trying time and may not have been helped by a loving same sex couple. I believe that her choice of words added to her story. If those are the words which help her express her how strongly she felt, then she should be supported in that. Diction has no bearing on the integrity or authenticity of a statement.

      • Hi there ~

        I completely understand where you are coming from, but I was not at all commenting on her experience. Only on the fbombs used to describe it. I felt, personally, that “Because gay couples are fucking people”, took away from the strength and humanity, of the arguemnt. Thats all. My comment has nothing at all to do with anything else.

  3. This made me tear up, too! It hits close to home, because where I live in Georgia, my partner can’t adopt our daughter. I wish the US would grow up already and see that gay and lesbian people are people, too!

  4. They are a stronger couple than most others I know, gay, straight etc. I am so happy that two of my best friends came together and were able to positively influence each others’ lives 🙂

  5. Wow. Just wow. This is such an amazing and beautiful story. I am in tears reading it at work. It is a special treat to know that love and hope exist in this nutty world of ours. Sometimes people and the universe are purely awesome. And that is so important to remember!!! Thank you. This story made my day!

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