Once upon a time, the economy crashed. My husband was laid off, and I started working more than an hour away for very little money. My husband stayed home all day looking for work and taking care of our infant twins. We were stretched to the max, and then two wonderful women named Elisa and Andrea came into our lives.
At the time, I hardly knew them — they were friends of a friend, and all I knew during that tumultuous time was that they loved children. My friend suggested that they might be able to help with childcare, to at least give one or both of us a break every so often. I didn’t have any money to pay them, but they didn’t want money.
I only knew them in passing — in all the times we’d seen each other, I’ve never really reached out in friendship, though we were friendly enough. You know the difference. The “Hey, how are you,” acquaintance versus a friend. They didn’t care that we weren’t close. These two extremely driven, working, successful women started stopping by my house (out of their way, mind you), to watch my infants and give my husband a break in the evenings once a week. Just because.
Just fucking because.
To this day, my husband refers to them as our lifeline. That seemingly small favor they did us (for an extended period of time, out of the goodness of their hearts), kept him sane. It really did.
And now it’s time.
Now it’s time to look at what we are doing. At what we are saying. That two women or two men can’t get married, don’t have the right to access human rights. The bond these two share is as strong as any hetero marriage I’ve witnessed, and honestly, stronger than most of those.
While they were sitting for us, Elise and Andrea had applied for Connecticut’s foster program. And they waited months and months for approval. And every time they got close, something happened, something delayed it. Then when they were finally approved they got put on a list. It was heartwrenching. It almost brought Elise to tears a few times when we spoke about it. They just wanted a family — not only a family for themselves, but to create a family for a child who was waiting for them.
Through the foster program, Elise and Andrea eventually took in a little boy. Then his little sister. Then his baby sister. Three siblings staying together because Connecticut allows gay couples to parent children. Because gay couples are fucking people. And you know what else?
They adopted the kids. All three. These three children have a life full of love, laughter and happiness because that is what Elise and Andrea provide. That is who they are. That is what they do.