I like the idea of having kids someday with my husband. They would be adorable, blond-ringleted, brilliant, rational-thinking little things. I see other people’s sweet little children and the fulfillment they get from raising them. I’ve decided that’s something I want in my own life.
But here’s the thing. I’m TERRIFIED of getting pregnant. Like, it is literally the worst fear I have of everything I could encounter in the world. There’s going to be this parasitic THING inside my body, screwing everything up: squishing my organs, messing with my hormones, and causing me pain, sickness, and constant discomfort. It’s going to be growing in and feeding off my body. If I were to describe this situation to anyone and just leave out the single detail that it was a human baby, everyone would be disgusted and agree it’s something from a horror movie. But because it’s a human baby, most people seem okay with it and even celebrate it.
I can’t get past it. Just the idea of it sickens me. Of course there’s always the option of adopting, but that’s expensive and as I said before, I love the idea of biological children. Are there other people who have dealt with a fear of pregnancy, and if so, how did you get past it? — Kaela