Finding a Dominant/submissive play partner
“I’m in a relationship where my partner is not interested in BDSM, but I am. My partner has decided that they’re okay with me going to someone to help me with my needs. The problem is I don’t know how to do this!”
I can help! First we’ll talk about what to consider before engaging in a BDSM relationship, and then we’ll talk about finding one.
Clothespins, sex, and cerebral palsy
Carrie is a Los Angeles-based writer who’s written about her experiences with kink and disability. “It’s not often (i.e., almost never) that I get told I’m good at a physical activity. But now my body, which had spent so many years letting me down and making decisions without my consent, had gone and done something absolutely right — and done it better.”
Battling the boredom during long-term, long-distance relationships
I have been in a four-year-long relationship with a lovely man, who asked me out over the phone as he was going through security at the airport to leave the country for four months! After he returned I still had two years of college, eight hours away, to finish up. So, while I am by no means an expert, I can say that I have some experience with the long distance experience. Now, let me just say, long-term, long-distance SUCKS but here are my tips so that you don’t get bored with the standard text/call/Skype routine…
How writing erotic fan fiction changed my sex life
Since the beginning of my sexual awakening (or when my high school boyfriend put his hands down my pants), I loved sex. Along with sex, my other interests are TV shows, movies, and books. There is a particular workplace sitcom that I adore and almost exclusively write for. The bridge between these interests is not a long one, and soon I was writing erotic fan fiction. And yes, after (a little) personal deliberation, I told my husband that I was a fan fiction writer. But I don’t think the switch in our sex life really happened until he read My Really Long Fic.
Everything I know about marriage I learned from Terry Miller (Dan Savage’s husband)
Back in 2006 when I was working a full-time corporate job, while also trying to write what would become Offbeat Bride the book, I almost had a nervous breakdown. Desperate for some guidance and inspiration, I sent an email to my local hero, Dan Savage. His advice was basically that he owed it all to his partner. His then-partner? Terry Miller, who is now (thanks to Washington’s marriage laws) Dan’s husband. In the 10 years since I had this exchange, I’ve basically built my het marriage to emulate their gay marriage, and I’m convinced it’s been the secret to everything being happy.
Help! Work is killing my sex life
Now that we’ve finally reached a level of experience and graduated from junior status, we are finding that our jobs require more of our effort and more of our time. So much so that by the end of the day we are both so zapped out that we can barely do the household things at home before collapsing in bed, which has totally killed our sex life! I’d love to hear how other Homies have managed to retain the energy and carve out the time for sex and intimacy when your jobs are demanding.
Online dating: some reviews, some tips, some little green ghouls
My ex and I started dating when I was 19, and we were together for seven years. That’s a lot of Formative Time in a monogamous relationship. Now I’m single. And being single is awesome. Dating is also awesome. …Kind of. Sometimes? Well, it’s definitely a thing, and it’s new to me. So, I decided to try out some dating sites. What a trip.
Finding your new BFF: Picking the perfect toy
So, you’ve decided to improve the quality of your self-lovin’ (and couple-lovin’). Good for you! You wander cautiously into your local sex shop or website only to be totally overwhelmed by the selection. Before you “panic-order,” remember this: not all sex toys are created equal! Here are some tips to help you find your next sexy-time gadget.