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Asexuality and queerness redefined sex for us (& how we're making it work)

What is sexual compatibility? Insecurity made our life a little rocky early on. I worried that my partner's asexuality was simply disinterest in me, while she worried that I might prefer someone else. But after nearly seven years together, we've ironed that out — and in the process, built a sex life that we both find satisfying, exploring a non-traditional definition of sex. Here are the tools that we use to help us to define sex for ourselves…

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Swinging: an insider's perspective (plus how it differs from polyamory!)

I've been seeing lots of awesome posts about polyamory and ethical non-monogamy. I wanted to offer some thoughts on a variation that I haven't seen talked much about yet: swinging.

Swinging or, "the lifestyle," as we often refer to it with each other (sometimes indicated by a black ring on the right ring finger for those who like to advertise their proclivity), is one subculture among many with countless variations and expressions. Here is my personal perspective…

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My poly tips for working with jealousy (even if you're not polyamorous!)

A theme in poly articles I see a lot: non-monogamy requires so much effort — likely too much effort for most of us. And I have a growing appetite for unpacking our assumptions that non-monogamy is so much harder than other ways of being in relationship.

I'm not here to tell you that scheduling time with and navigating the feelings of multiple partners doesn't require a lot of work, or even that I think everyone needs to want to do the kind of work polyamory requires. Non-monogamy isn't a one-size-fits-all approach any more than monogamy is and both require dedication and communication…