Category Archive


Shit. I think I may be non-monogamous. Now what?

I can’t deny it. I feel strong pulls to be emotionally, and perhaps down the road, physically involved with other men with whom I’ve developed emotional connections.

I recently told all of this to my husband. He met me with open arms and respects my feelings. But I don’t know how to sort through these feelings I’m having towards a new lifestyle…

Let’s talk about polyamory research: QUALITY OVER QUANTITY?

An article was recently published about how polyamorous people are supposedly less sexually satisfied than monogamous people. Who did we ask to weigh in on this? Why, our favorite philosopher of love, of course: Carrie Jenkins, author of What Love Is

What Love Is: My review of Carrie Jenkins’ book (+bonus story about mutual fangirling!)

I’ve mentioned it several times here, but I finally need to write my official review of Carrie Jenkins’ What Is Love: And What Could It Be. I started reading the book in March and immediately adored it… not because I agreed with everything, but because it’s so interesting to watch someone apply their super analytic, logic-based brain skills (the author’s background is in the philosophy of MATH, for fuck’s sake) to something as squishy like love and relationship structures.

The future of marriage is SO GAY: Eavesdropping on a human sexuality professor, Part 3

When I was in New York last month, I sat down for a chat with a friend of a friend who’s a professor of Human Sexuality. Hunter Kincaid is an visiting lecturer at Hunter College and an adjunct professor at Pratt University, and we met up to muse over about how anal sex is like homeschooling, the […]

Unexpected polyamory and what it taught me about myself

Polyamory isn’t something that I thought I’d ever be interested in. My husband and I were together for three years before I met someone who changed that. I struggled in the beginning with what to do. I couldn’t ignore my feelings for this new man, and cheating on my husband was out of the question. I knew I had to talk with him about these new feelings I was developing and what to do with them…

Screw the “romantic mystique” — let’s think about love

We base some of the biggest decisions of our lives on romantic love, and yet we resist actually examining love… for fear of overthinking it and somehow erasing its magic. FUCK THAT. We should all be thinking about this shit, since we all base huge life decisions on it. So, here’s some of my recent research…

Why ethical non-monogamy is AWESOME and totally worth the extra effort

I was the partner that needed convincing to open up our relationship to ethical non-monogamy. And now, all-in-all, I think ethical non-monogamy is AWESOME and totally worth the extra effort. My boyfriend and I have now been together for six years, happily non-monogamous. Here’s how I got my head around the idea of opening up our relationship…

How do you tell your parents things they don’t want to hear?

For many reasons, including my religious and ethical beliefs, I feel I need to tell my parents that I am in a polyamorous relationship. I’ve previously come out to them as queer and trans, which feels different from this conversation. How do you, as an adult in your agency, tell your parents things they don’t want to hear?