I’m looking for advice from moms, and those who love them, on how I can be a good friend to my BFF who is having a baby. I need a bit of a rundown on how I can expect our relationship to change. So how do I be the best pal to a new mom given our relative distance? And how do I make sure I don’t accidentally make her life harder trying to keep our friendship going?
I understand how useful those are (I intend to help buy a duffle bag and stuff it full of diapers!) but I wanted to know if there were any items or helpful suggestions that would be useful for me to give or do for new parents. What “strange” or “unusual” items will be useful for the new parents? What unexpected items did you not have that you wish you did have when you were new parents?
I am blessed to have a beautiful, healthy 18 month old daughter whom I love to the ends of the earth, and I show her a lot of love and affection. But I’m just not into being a mum with a baby. Any other parents feel a similarly? I’d love to hear from those who may understand where I’m coming from.
A couple of weeks ago, a guy kissed me all sloppy with his mouth wide open, tried to take my shirt off, and then barfed into my hand, which I promptly wiped on my jeans. As it turns out, that is not the only way my life as a new parent closely resembles my life as a college student.
Her kids have always slept through the night, and even if they don’t, she still manages to look like she has had eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. There is always a well-balanced, home-cooked meal on her dinner table. She either happily stays at home or holds down a fulfilling job while still finding time to join the PTA, run the school’s book sale, and makes it to every single soccer game. She is usually white, middle to upper class, heterosexual, and neither too young nor too old. But above all… she’s a myth. And it’s this myth that divides women and pits mothers against each other while fueling the flames of the manufactured “mommy wars.”
That’s when I began to realize that during the first few months of my son’s life, I would not be living out any idealized role of mommy; I was a mad scientist, trying to figure out which baby soothing techniques would make him stop crying: a combination of white noise and bouncing, pretending I was at a wedding and doing The Hustle or taking him outside for some fresh air.
If you don’t have kids but plan to have them some day, remember that. Chances are you’ll need to change the way you hear that question soon, so that when you have a baby you don’t start answering the way things are really going. Because, if you were being honest, you would probably say: “Baby is fine, except…” (don’t worry, there are LOTS of things you can fill in here. I’ll just add one.)
The problem with baby showers and registries is that you don’t know your baby yet and as novice parents you really don’t know what you are going to need. And you aren’t going to know whether or not your child will hate the really expensive bouncer that their grandparents purchase them off of the registry.