new parents

A mom's mental load: embracing and forgiving my forgetfulness

A mom’s mental load: embracing and forgiving my forgetfulness

I’ve been thinking a lot about forgetfulness and mental load. I had a boss at work who constantly referred to freeing up your “psychic space” as often as possible. Much like defragmenting your computer in order to free up memory. I have always been considered “forgetful” — even before I had a baby. During pregnancy, I had the luxury of blaming things on “baby brain.” Now that my daughter is crawling, my ability to keep up with everything in my brain seems exponentially worse.

Here are some of the more serious things I’ve forgotten this past month…

Cleaning, bringing meals, GTFO: what should you ACTUALLY do when visiting new parents?

Clean, bring meals, or GTFO: what should you ACTUALLY do when visiting new parents?

Way back in 2011, we published this post about the dos and don’ts of visiting friends after they have a baby and recently realized how GOLD the comments were.

Here’s advice straight from our readers about what you should actually do when visiting new parents…

Motherhood: my most difficult rite of passage yet

Motherhood: my most difficult rite of passage yet

Five years ago this happened. I thought, “Oh, fuck. What have I gotten myself into?” The look on my face says it all. The postpartum depression hadn’t yet kicked in and I was trying to wrap my brain around this new reality. What I didn’t know was that I was about to undertake the most arduous and difficult rite of passage of my life. Parenthood.

The Mom Tribe: as a mom, you are never alone

The Mom Tribe: as a mom, you are never alone

When I was pregnant 11 years ago, I knew I was clueless. I was young and naïve and really didn’t have the slightest idea what being a parent would entail. I don’t think I could even comprehend past diapers and breastfeeding. I read every book that I could, studies and research, and all the information I could to be prepared for one of the biggest journey’s of my life. None of that helped. Nothing can prepare for what life as a mom is like. I remember the day the nurse put this little guy in my arms and that was it. My heart filled up. I looked into those eyes and knew my world was no longer just my own.

My purpose found me. And I found the Mom Tribe.

Resources for fathers-to-be that aren’t patronizing

Are there resources for fathers-to-be that aren’t weirdly gendered or patronizing? My husband isn’t an idiot and would love more information than “when can my wife have sex again?”, “when will I get to watch sports again”, or “how to do cope wife my wife’s craaa-aaaa-zzyyy hormones/body/cravings/etc?”

How to find yourself when you’re focused on raising someone else?

Younger mamas, I want you to know that us older mamas are just as befuddled at times as you are. I was in my mid-30s when I had my first child, and I don’t feel as if you ever finish the finding-yourself journey — nor would I want to. It’s part of the joy of being alive.

That said, here’s what’s helped for me to reconnect in areas of my life that need it…

Advice to and from moms who (sometimes!) regret having kids

Real talk: Parenting is hard, and there are times when some moms regret having kids. Whether you’re in that position yourself, or have a friend who going through that… here are some great pieces of advice from women who have BEEN THERE. Here’s what moms who have (at one time or another) regretted being moms have to say about moms who regret having kids…

What NOT to do when your friends have a newborn

In the first couple of weeks after giving birth, I found myself showered with food, presents, and presence. But it was really after the six weeks passed that I found myself quite alone — people weren’t visiting anymore, but it was still hard for me to get out with a newborn. This is the best time to be there for your friend. But here are some of my major don’ts, that you could help manage if you’re there!