I am blessed to have a beautiful, healthy 18 month old daughter whom I love to the ends of the earth. I would do or sacrifice anything for her physical, emotional, and social well-being. And I show her a lot of love and affection. But I’m just not into being a mum with a baby. I certainly don’t let my baby define who I am as a person.
I haven’t been particularly gushy or boasting about milestones and cute baby stuff as much as the other mums I know. I’m not really into other people’s babies either.
Maybe it’s because I am an only child so never had the experience of having a new baby in the house and growing up with another child. Perhaps another fact is that I had never had a lot of experience with babies prior to having my own. Another contributing reason could be that when I was introduced to my 3 step-children, and started to care for them, they were already school-age and nearly-school aged so again I didn’t have the experience of being used to being around babies.
Never the less, these factors would not be the only reasons why I’m just not the “baby type.” I just have never been particularly clucky about babies, except for my own sometimes.
Think about it… Babies are kind of cute but useless. Sometimes they are down right gross, with all of their over-sharing of bodily fluids. They fill your heart with love but just kind of sit/crawl/toddle around, and make lots of noise and mess — both physical and emotional mess. (At this point I would like to acknowledge parents with all kinds of special needs children — Of course, every milestone is a world of achievement when you are experiencing, caring for, and loving a child who has difficulty reaching them.)
I am really looking forward to being a parent of a child whom I can have discussions about life with. So like… from about six years old onwards I guess? I can’t wait to teach her what I know to be true about life so far and support her to grow into a passionate, empathetic, assertive, confident woman. I look at some mothers relationships with their school-aged daughters– observing the sometimes-dysfunctional love, misunderstood intentions and lack of communication — and wonder if perhaps they hadn’t had much forethought about how their relationships with their child would be as opposed to caring for an infant or toddler.
I, too, no doubt, will experience what it’s like to struggle with the transition from baby to young child to older child. I am already starting to feel it. And I am by no means saying it will be an easy transition, but I hope I can embrace the journey with love and an open mind, knowing that it is important to put myself in her shoes and remember what it was like growing up.
But I fully admit that I am excited to one day be done with the nappies, snot, and sippy cups, and reach the point where I can really watch my baby girl flourish into a beautiful young woman.
Any other parents feel a similarly? I’d love to hear from those who may understand where I’m coming from.