The Good Mother Myth: redefining motherhood to fit reality

September 12 2013 | offbeatbride
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I am super excited to introduce you to a book that'll be coming on in January 2014: Good Mother Myth. What is this, you say? Let's look at the description of the book found on the book's website:

Her kids have always slept through the night, and even if they don't, she still manages to look like she has had eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. There is always a well-balanced, home-cooked meal on her dinner table. She either happily stays at home or holds down a fulfilling job while still finding time to join the PTA, run the school's book sale, and makes it to every single soccer game. Her house is absolutely spotless, and if it's not, she can effortlessly laugh it off. She has the energy and desire for a happy and adventurous sex life, and her partner is always satisfied. She is crafty, creative, and embodies the perfect blend of modern woman and hipster housewife. She is usually white, middle to upper class, heterosexual, and neither too young nor too old.

But above all… she's a myth. And it's this myth that divides women and pits mothers against each other while fueling the flames of the manufactured "mommy wars."

Intrigued? Will you be EXTRA intrigued if I told you the book has essays written by several Offbeat Families contributors and me? Let's chat about it!

Contributors include Avital Norman Nathman, Sarah Tuttle-Singer, Victoria Brooke Rodrigues, Christina Soletti, and Aly Windsor — AKA all of your Offbeat Families faves! The topics are all over the board — breastfeeding, LGBT parenthood, and birth expectations. I even have a piece in there about my own son's premature birth and dealing with the emotions during and afterward.

The book debuts in January 2014, and is currently available for pre-order for less than $12. In the meantime, you can learn more about the book, read about each contributor and wait patiently for book readings near you!

  1. Oh awesome! One of the biggest reasons I am terrified of becoming a mother (eventually) is that I know there is no way I will be the "Good Mother"… and that means I feel like I will be a Bad Mother!

    3 agree
  2. I am *so* excited for this! Our book group — all well-educated, creative working moms who are totally frazzled and worn out — may well have to order it!

  3. I am so happy to see a book like this. There are days when I feel like I am a bad mother and wife that I need a reality check and maybe that I am not that bad at all…especially dealing with a special needs child and being sick myself.

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  4. I feel like I will be ordering this book for all my friends who are parents, and getting one for myself so when we DO have kids (Kina Hora) I can perhaps avoid some of the crazytime

  5. OMG I think I have to buy this! As well as preparing to be a mother myself, I also work with families who are often looked down on by others because they don't always meet the 'good parent' criteria that others have set up for them. They are all committed parents who love their children beyond words. There's more than one way to be a mother!

  6. I have a friend whom I have dubbed Super Mom. Her house is a mess her kids are ridiculous (adorable but rediculous) and she is a full time nurse an amazing photographer! Why is she super mom? Because she still manages to find time for her friends, go on dates and love her kids to absolutely infinity and beyond. I plan to model myself after her if/when I ever have my own little ridiculous bundles of joy.

    1 agrees
  7. Will this be available as an ebook? I find that it is easier to handle my e-reader than a hard book while I breast feed my 2 month old and chase my almost 2 year old.

  8. Why yes, that does make me extra intrigued! =)
    One thing that holds me back from trying to have kids right now, even though sometimes I really, really want to, is the idea that being a good mom equals giving up my sense of self, travelling, or other adventures. So this book sounds like something I would enjoy reading, and maybe it will bust some of those preconceived notions society generally likes to portray as reality.

  9. Will this also be available in the UK at the same time, or later? I would definitely buy this. I have real hang ups about being A Good Mother and I would love to read something like this to help me calm my own demons a bit.

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  10. As a former homeschooling, stay at home mom of five (who are now grown), I must say that in spite of having none of the 'perfect mom' parts, my kids all grew up healthy, happy and still come around to hang out with me, ask (and take!!!) my advice and even spend time together as siblings quite often… the bullshit that everyone seems to think is necessary just really isn't. Respect your kids, love your kids and be present at least half the time and you're good.

    1 agrees

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