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What not to say to an infertile person (even if they're child-free!)

I'm infertile. There are a lot of unexpected emotions that come up when you're infertile. I've been described as ultra-confident, and I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy. It can be tough to know what to say when you find out that someone is infertile. Here are a few common responses I've received, and why they're problematic…

6.8k

5 things to consider before you ask, "when are you having kids?"

Some people don't have children because of fertility issues, because they don't want to pass along specific genetically-inherited traits, because they can't afford it, or simply because they don't want them, period! Reproduction is such a personal thing, it's about time we stop allowing impertinent inquiries into other people's reproductive statuses to remain common occurrences.

11k

Get drunk, have sex everyday, buy new underwear, and other infertility insights

Infertility sucks, no two ways about it. Some parts of this have made me angry and bitter, but the hilarity that has ensued during the surreal conversations I've had about it has at least given me some uncomfortable stories to tell my future progeny and their prom dates. I plan to use them as part of the explanation I give for why they don't have a college fund and why we live in a van down by the river.

4.2k

My partner just found out he's infertile. How do we begin to cope?

Now that we know my partner is infertile, for the first time I realize that there's a good chance that I'll never get pregnant, that we'll never make a child together. When we thought the problem was me he would always know the right thing to say or do to make me feel better, but now that the situation is reversed I don't know what to say to him, "I love you" doesn't really seem like enough.

1.1k

Struggling with telling infertile friends that you're pregnant… again

I recently found out I'm expecting my FOURTH baby. We're getting ready to tell our family and friends, and there are two people I've been avoiding telling so far: my brother and my very good friend.

My brother is gay, and he and his partner keep hitting roadblocks on their journey to having a baby. My friend is struggling to conceive and has been for some time…