Some people don’t have children because of fertility issues, because they don’t want to pass along specific genetically-inherited traits, because they can’t afford it, or simply because they don’t want them, period! Reproduction is such a personal thing, it’s about time we stop allowing impertinent inquiries into other people’s reproductive statuses to remain common occurrences.
Infertility sucks, no two ways about it. Some parts of this have made me angry and bitter, but the hilarity that has ensued during the surreal conversations I’ve had about it has at least given me some uncomfortable stories to tell my future progeny and their prom dates. I plan to use them as part of the explanation I give for why they don’t have a college fund and why we live in a van down by the river.
Now that we know my partner is infertile, for the first time I realize that there’s a good chance that I’ll never get pregnant, that we’ll never make a child together. When we thought the problem was me he would always know the right thing to say or do to make me feel better, but now that the situation is reversed I don’t know what to say to him, “I love you” doesn’t really seem like enough.
I recently found out I’m expecting my FOURTH baby. We’re getting ready to tell our family and friends, and there are two people I’ve been avoiding telling so far: my brother and my very good friend.
My brother is gay, and he and his partner keep hitting roadblocks on their journey to having a baby. My friend is struggling to conceive and has been for some time…
Then I took the test. It was positive. I genuinely believed the test was faulty. I was torn between a massive urge to run into the street and scream at passers-by “I’M PREGNANT”, and the ever present feeling that this was not possible, I was not pregnant, and the test was wrong. I walked home in the rain. I dropped my paperwork on the floor, and it stuck there like glue. I left it. The wind was cooling my neck. The moment is so clear.
Before, I didn’t get it. I didn’t think it was a big deal to ask if or when a couple was having kids. I didn’t realize the impact that merely being asked questions along these lines can have on someone dealing with personal decisions. I’ve actually apologized to a couple people for my past ignorance. But now I have a new problem: since these questions are off limits, I have no idea what to say!
Allison and her wife both wanted to experience different parts of baby-making and parenthood, so they decided to do partner-assisted in vitro fertilization. Here’s the story of how Alison got pregnant with her wife’s baby
Having a baby always felt like a given — I’d get married, have a baby and live happily ever after. That’s the way it works, right? Six pregnancies and seven miscarriages later (one set of twins) we find ourselves facing the very real possibility that I simply can not carry a child to term. Three months seems to be average, though one pregnancy was lost at five months.