Category Archive

identity

Why this feminist mom is okay raising a princess

I feel like there’s a certain trend in feminist parenting where we totally support little boys wearing dresses and sparkles… but cringe a bit inside when a little girl wants to do it. Feminism and Queer-positive parenting is supposed to be about choice, and that sometimes sometimes includes the choice to explore the identities of princess or a sparkly fairy.

Is my offbeat lifestyle hurting my child?

In my town, like so many small towns, perception is everything. Thankfully over the years I’ve developed a thick skin. It didn’t matter to me what these people thought… until my daughter came into the picture. Then the fears ran rampant: Will she be invited to playdates? Will she be ashamed of me at parent-teacher meetings? Will she get in trouble for her inherited penchant for dark artwork? Is my outward appearance going to ruin her life? Will she hate me and wish I was a little more June Cleaver and a little less Morticia Addams?

How do you know when you’re being different for the sake of being different?

In my quest to be authentic to myself, I have to wonder — whether it’s something as major as changing faiths, or something as minor as choosing a hairstyle — how do you know when you’re being different for the sake of being a “special snowflake” and how do you know when you’re just being you? And more importantly, does it matter?

How much should I sacrifice self-expression for a relationship?

Since my husband and I have been together my appearance has changed. But I noticed that somewhere along the way, I started dressing in a way to please him, more than myself. Now I can’t help wondering… How can I express myself and maintain peace in my relationship?

On good looks, ugliness, image, and what we teach our kids…

“We talk about body shape, size and weight, but rarely about distorted features. And we talk about plainness, but not faces that would make a surgeon’s fingers itch.

“The Ugly Duckling” is widely assumed to be the story of his own life. But the moral of that story was that a swan would emerge from the body of an outcast, and that you could not repress the nobility of a swan in a crowd of common ducks.

What if you just stay a duck?”

​I’m a lot stronger than I thought: 7 things I’ve learned as a parent of two

In the past five years of being a mother, I can say without even an iota of doubt that every day has been an adventurous ride that has brought with it a new set of learnings. From all the late night parties and spontaneous getaways with my partner, to the breastfeeding woes and potty training sessions with my kids, I have come a very long way over the last couple of years — courtesy all the successes and failures.

Here are the top seven things I have learned as a parent of two…

Gender and sexuality: Is there an “Inappropriate Question Hour” anywhere?

When I was in college, there was an amazing “Inappropriate Question Hour” where people agreed to leave their privilege and prejudices at the door in order to educate one another. I haven’t found anything like it since. Does anyone know of any resources or communities where people can participate in the gender and sexuality conversation without fear?

Becoming a wife and mother: What’s going to happen to my identity?

The kind of questions my husband and I get are totally different. People ask him, “Are you ready to lose your freedom?” while people ask me, “Are you ready to be a mother?” Maybe it’s just the way these jokes and comments and questions stacked up, but it doesn’t feel like I can just “lighten up.” Any confidence I had in myself to ignore what people were saying quickly dissipated, and one of my newest and biggest worries was born.

As I grow in my relationship with my husband and future family, what’s going to happen to my identity?