My third life: Reinventing myself by moving to another city
In New York, one of the first questions asked when you meet someone is, “What borough are you from?” I quickly learned that I needed to “represent.” At first, it felt weird trying to profess my pride for a place that I had only know through TV and movies, but as months passed, I felt less and less like a Clevelander and more like a Brooklynite. Unfortunately, after 14 years, the New York City that had I loved since childhood pretty much vanished in front of my eyes. ust as we were contemplating leaving, we got an offer to stay with his family in Greeley, Colorado…
How I learned to love my weird name
My parents chose semi-unusual names for my brother and me, because they grew up with very common names. But when I was a kid all I wanted was to be like everyone else. Throughout my whole life I’ve received a variety of responses when I introduce myself. There are people who just say “What?” or “Huh?” and I need to repeat my name or explain it. A few years ago I started saying, “Daryl — like a dude.” Nowadays, I love my name.
Why I’m ripping the minus sign off my calculator: the mathematics of women and body image issues
My whole life has been about taking things out of my life in order to make it better. Subtracting weight. Removing blemishes. Getting rid of the appearance of cellulite and stretch marks. Reducing belly fat. Banishing negative thoughts. Taking this or that out of my diet. Ignoring my needs, lessening them for the convenience of others. Literally lowering the volume of my voice because too many people have scolded me for being too loud. To say I’m fed up with it is a gross understatement.
Saying “bye” to labels: I’m not sure of my sexuality anymore, and that’s okay
There was a time when having a label to my sexuality was very important to me because it helped me name what I was. I’ll tell you now: I still don’t have a nicely labeled answer for what I am. And I don’t care.
How dare you enjoy your own culture
Remember that one time when Nicki Minaj wore a feathered headdress to announce her PinkPrint tour? A lot of people said, “Whoa, girl, why are you wearing a Native American headdress? Not cool, that’s not yours.”
Then other people said, “Simmer down, that’s not Native American, that’s a carnival headdress; it’s cool because she was born in Trinidad.”
It’s the Tumblr trap of trying to stop cultural appropriation in its tracks — but accidentally giving people flack for enjoying their own culture.
How Doctor Who inspired me to let go of the past
It might sound odd, that The Doctor — a character from a TV show, who travels freely in space and time — has inspired me to let go of the past. But hear me out…
Being a true life faerie
All my life I felt that I should really have been born a faerie and recently I decided to become one. We have been running The Faerie Circle for about a year now, and while there have been challenges, it has definitely brightened up my life.
I don’t plan to stay married to the person I’m married to today
In which I analyze personal evolution and its role in long-term, monogamous, marriage. With every lesson I have embraced, with every tear I have released, and with every damn experience I have accrued, I have changed my opinion, my story, and my inner-most self, and so has my husband.