I’m slated to host Christmas Eve at my home again, and last year it was fun… except for one uncle ruined it with snarky comments and flat-out negativity. He bitched about the food, the tackiness of the decorations, and the gifts people gave.
At the time, I was more concerned about hosting duties and making sure my family was having a good time, so I just tried to roll with it. Nobody in the family had the guts to say anything, except to talk about it after he left.
This year though… fuck that, I don’t want any of that shit in my house.
How do I keep his horrible attitude in line in my own home? My initial response to myself is “just tell him to shut the fuck up” but I know that would cause more trouble than what that’s worth.
Ooh, you know we love doing cut ‘n’ paste conflict resolution! Obviously, no one phrase is going to work for every family situation or communication style, but we’ve wrastled up a few ideas for things you could quietly but firmly say in response to your uncle’ negative comments:
- I really don’t appreciate your tone of voice. Please respect that a lot of work/effort/thought went into _______.
- Sounds like you’re unhappy about ______, and while I sympathize, the rest of us are trying to enjoy our evening.
- We decided to ______, and I hope you can respect our wishes even if you disagree.
- I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m trying to enjoy myself tonight and your negative comments are really interfering.
- I love you, but your negativity this evening is making it difficult to enjoy your company. Please be quiet.
- It sounds like you have some strong opinions about _____. Perhaps next year you should host. This year, however, we’re hosting, and if you’re unable to enjoy your time here, you should consider leaving.
Ok, Homies. Your turn!
How do you firmly but respectfully deal with family members who ruin holiday parties?