Category Archive

boundaries

My short skirt is NOT an invitation to be sexually harassed

Apparently one out of three Australian women are afraid to walk down the street alone, especially after dark. We don’t live in a country where intimidation, degradation, or violence against women is acceptable — so what the hell is going on?

It’s time to educate both men and women about this issue. It’s time to stop bullying each other into acting or wearing what most think of as “socially acceptable.” Here are a few points that you could consider to empower yourself, or share with others that this issue affects…

How to identify and remove toxic people from your life in 3 steps

Pruning negative, toxic people from your garden of friends and family is essential, basic self-care, and never something you should feel bad about doing. But how do you know if someone is truly toxic, and not just having a bad moment? When do you know when it’s time to finally cut ties, and how do you go about it? Here’s how I do it…

Family member in the middle: Being stuck between two family members who aren’t talking to each other

Every adult family relationship dynamic is different. For me, our difficulty is that my older brother, who I am very close to, will not talk to our dad. My brother knows I will not cut contact with our dad, even though he feels I should. He has respect for my desire for a relationship with my dad. Still, being trapped in the middle is difficult. Here’s how navigate this tricky “family member in the middle” situation…

I never thought an abusive relationship would happen to me

You never realize just how thoroughly your world can be turned on its head, how easy it is to find yourself willfully trapped in a position that you swore you would never get taken in by. I never realized it. This is the sort of thing you expect to see on Lifetime original movies, not in real life. Not in your life.

Keep yourself from going stir-crazy when you work from home

Working from home is practically the new American dream. Everyone I know wants to do it, and everyone I know says they envy my ability to set my own hours, pick my own clients, and work in my pajamas (or naked!) any time I feel like it. What’s less obvious is that working from home can be a huge stressor sometimes. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to keep yourself from losing your mind as a stir-crazy freelancer. Here’s just a few of the ways I keep myself sane on a daily basis…

Triangles, boundaries, and Spidey Senses: Ending relationships with difficult family members

Remember that post about how to maintaining a relationship with difficult family members? I’m about to drop some deep family secrets on this site today. My solution to maintaining relationships with difficult siblings is this: Fucking DON’T. I don’t know if I can offer the definitive advice on the topic of ditching difficult family members, but I can offer up a few insights from my own 30+ years of experience…

STFU: How can I deal with one family member who always ruins holiday parties?

I’m slated to host Christmas Eve at my home again, and last year it was fun… except for one uncle ruined it with snarky comments and flat-out negativity. He bitched about the food, the tackiness of the decorations, and the gifts people gave.

At the time, I was more concerned about hosting duties and making sure my family was having a good time, so I just tried to roll with it. Nobody in the family had the guts to say anything, except to talk about it after he left.

This year though… fuck that, I don’t want any of that shit in my house.

How do I keep his horrible attitude in line in my own home?

How can I release my inner neat-freak and enjoy having people over?

My guy and I work from home — well, I work from home, he works from the shop in the barn behind our house, and it’s SUPER awesome. People drop by all the time, and it’s not unusual to have folks over 3-7 nights a week (people stay over 1-3 nights a week).

I come from a pretty traditional background and a clean freak mom so having an open house like this REALLY stressed me out, because I wanted the house to be clean and have snacks out etc. I’ve relaxed my standards significantly and now I’m wondering what kind of life-hacks I should be using to be prepared for guests?