My same-sex marriage is as real as yours no matter what happens

With the future of laws like marriage equality and reproductive rights uncertain, we look to our community to affirm our rights and why they matter. Heather explains why her same-sex marriage is as real as anyone else’s and why that matters…

“Marriage is not about religion.
Atheists get married.
Marriage is not about reproduction.
The infertile get married.
Marriage is about love. That’s it.
And that all by itself is beautiful.”
-Unknown

With all the movement towards marriage equality in Australia (and now speculation in the US again), I thought it was time to talk about and maybe even open a discussion about gay marriage. Luckily for me and my wife, it is recognized in America post-Obergefell v. Hodges. I have mentioned my upbringing as a late-bloomer in the South, and the fact that I was raised to believe marriage is between a man and a woman. Little did I realize, when hearing these things, that I would find myself deeply in love and married to a woman when I grew up. Falling in love with someone of the same sex really puts a dent in those childhood teachings.

Regardless, even when I am told as an adult, by family, that my marriage isn’t real, that doesn’t change the fact that I love my wife to the very depths of my soul. And even when my marriage may be potentially challenged by SCOTUS, it doesn’t change the fact that I sought happiness and commitment just like any other couple who want to marry. How is my marriage not “real?”

I never really understood the big fuss over why gay people shouldn’t be allowed the same rights as straight folks. Are gay people another species? Are we not entitled to the same laws and rights as everyone else? I completely respect the people who are devout to certain religions and the beliefs they hold. I admire faith in all of its forms. I also respect the fact that those people see marriage as a deeply religious ceremony. I believe marriage surpasses all religion and is so much more. Marriage is so much more than two people holding a ceremony or filing paperwork with clerks. Marriage is its own kind of faith; faith that through everything life throws your way, you will still love… beyond this life.

Marriage is about becoming a team.

Marriage is finding a way to get through life; the bad times and the good times.

Marriage is overcoming obstacles together and enduring stressful challenges, knowing every burden that comes along will not have to be carried alone.

Marriage is something that isn’t entered into lightly by anyone from any religion.

Marriage is two people choosing to become something greater than they were before.

Love and marriage go hand-in-hand and has throughout history. Love is about love, plain and simple. Every marriage is different just like every relationship is different. Every marriage has it’s very own trials and tribulations and it’s very own joys.

Every marriage is real, and every marriage should be celebrated.