Figuring out why I’m so uncomfortable with my partner’s self pleasure
My partner masturbates without my knowing and for some reason it really bothers me. My reaction surprised me and I had to dig into it to understand why. We have had a lot of conversations about how I struggle with the fact that he masturbates. Thankfully he is typically able to be open-minded and not take it personally. He knows that it’s my issue, and he knows that I know it’s my issue and that I’m not trying to control him. Here’s how I’m parsing my feelings…
My same-sex marriage is as real as yours no matter what happens
With all the movement towards marriage equality in Australia (and now speculation in the US again), I thought it was time to talk about and maybe even open a discussion about gay marriage. Luckily for me and my wife, it is recognized in America post-Obergefell v. Hodges. I have mentioned my upbringing as a late-bloomer in the South, and the fact that I was raised to believe marriage is between a man and a woman. Little did I realize, when hearing these things, that I would find myself deeply in love and married to a woman when I grew up. Falling in love with someone of the same sex really puts a dent in those childhood teachings…
How do you handle a relative giving religious education to your child without you?
My mother-in-law knows I’m a non-religious person. It’s been the subject of very awkward conversations and loaded questions and hasn’t always gone well. The first question from her upon learning her son and I were pregnant was, “Can I take the baby to church?” But she knows my parenting plan of exposing my child to all religious options.
Has anyone tread this road before, and have any advice on how to handle it? What language do I use to make it clear I don’t want my toddler being pushed into a certain religion before she’s old enough to understand?
A letter to my goddaughter about religion
Agapi mou, I don’t know how much you understood about what your yaya and I were saying tonight. You seemed pretty into the cool new Barbie™ Theia Athena bought you. But even if you didn’t notice now, I imagine that one day you will have questions, so I wanted to address them — while some […]
Growing up Southern as a lesbian late bloomer
When you’re raised in a way that shields you from anything that’s different, it really alters your ability to think outside of the small little box that’s your world. Had I met someone when I was younger who was gay or bisexual, maybe there would have been bells and whistles going off and I wouldn’t have been clueless for so long. Who knows? But I was blind for a very very long time. I met a guy who I married, had a couple of kids, and that’s how the story was supposed to go…
…only it didn’t.
How do I break up with my church community while maintaining friendships?
I’ve been debating converting to Judaism for about seven years now, and I’ve finally decided to go for it. However, I’m pretty heavily involved in a Christian church community. Since it’s a liberal denomination, I’m pretty confident I can maintain these friendships even if I tell them I want to be Jewish. But how do I nicely explain that I’m not a Christian and I’m looking to get my spiritual fix elsewhere?
How do you know when you’re being different for the sake of being different?
In my quest to be authentic to myself, I have to wonder — whether it’s something as major as changing faiths, or something as minor as choosing a hairstyle — how do you know when you’re being different for the sake of being a “special snowflake” and how do you know when you’re just being you? And more importantly, does it matter?
Teaching my kid about God as an ex-fundamentalist
“But Mama, what IS God?” Shit. I’m really not prepared for this conversation. For the majority of my life, I envisioned a future where this conversation with my kid would be welcome, and the answer given would be clear and certain. But the last half-decade has changed all that…