My husband hates lotion. He thinks it’s completely disgusting. I can’t even get him to wear sunscreen, despite his history of precancerous moles. Although this is worrisome to me, I’ve always chosen to avoid this battle. Which was fine until we had our baby four months ago.
Our little girl has super-sensitive skin, just like her mama. She is very susceptible to diaper rash and has some eczema, particularly on her scalp. We use cloth diapers — a decision my husband was totally on board with. When we put disposables on her, she breaks out in a rash no matter how much diaper cream we put on. If she is adequately lubed up, I can keep her little bum clear in the cloth diapers. BUT…
My husband finds the diaper cream so yucky on his own fingers that he’ll hardly touch the stuff, let alone cover her bum with it properly. Every single time he puts her heavier night diaper on, she wakes up with a rash. In fact, if he changes her more than twice in a row, she’ll get a rash. We’ve “discussed” (read: argued about) this, and he says it makes no sense to him to put something moisturizing on her if wetness is the problem. I’ve explained the science of barrier creams to him and he says it baffles him. I find myself thinking he’s just trying to justify his own bad parenting. I know that’s a mean thing to think.
I’m at a loss. In most other ways, he’s a wonderful father and husband. I hate to see her in pain from diaper rash but I don’t want to have to do every diaper change myself. Please, please tell me: how do you deal with a partner’s quirks and preconceptions when you believe they are negatively impacting your baby? — Jenny