Name and occupation: Johanna, Chef de Cuisine
Partner’s name and occupation: Gesche, finance fairy
Our wedding profile: Gesche & Johanna’s crafty vegan faery wedding with extra sparkle, June 17, 2012
Well not that much has happened or changed… We’ve been traveling, getting more tattoos, and decorating our apartment. We decided we’re not ready for kids yet so we’re adopting another kitten. Our love life hasn’t changed much, neither has our every day life. Except that we have more time planning our time and future together now that we don’t have to plan a wedding anymore (we were engaged for almost three of the five years we’ve been together before the wedding after all). We’re both working full time jobs and between that and friends/family and the kittens, time just flies by.
Looking back all these years later, what do you remember most about your wedding?
The love, the laughter… and the desserts. It was a really fun wedding with some unexpectedly emotional parts. Whenever we think back to our wedding day, we remember it draped in the beautiful vines and flowers that decorated our ceremony spot.
Did you re-purpose any wedding decor or attire?
We did! We used some of it to decorate our balcony in the summer, as well as decoration around our livingroom windows.
What big challenges have you faced? What have you learned from them?
A couple months after the wedding, Gesche had a breakdown and went into half a year of sick leave due to depression and anxiety she’d been battling and suppressing for years. It took a lot of strength, love and patience but we got through it together. It’s not over and will always be something to work on, but it was a big step for both of us to finally start meeting our demons. It’s important to look out for each other and accept help when you need it.
How do you keep your romance alive?
Well, we’re both into romantic dates but we rarely have the money to actually put our elaborate plans to action, so we try to do the small things. When one of us comes home from work we always greet the other with a long hug and a kiss to say “Hi, I missed you and I’m so glad you’re home!” even though we might be exhausted or in a pissy mood, and we talk about our day.
We say “I love you” at least once a day, and try to express gratitude for one another when we remember to. It’s important not to take each other for granted.
Another thing we do is always fall asleep holding each others hands, even if we just had a fight. If we don’t, it’s hard to fall asleep.
What advice do you have for newlyweds?
Be accepting and honest with each other, and very important: don’t be grudging or envious about your partner’s plans with friends/family; let each other do fun things even if it’s not always with each other.
As for housekeeping, we don’t have much advice as we’re still learning to compromise and take turns (Johanna likes it super clean while Gesche doesn’t mind a mess). Mostly, Johanna does it until she’s sick of it and then yells at Gesche until she does it.
The key here (and with everything else) is to have an open mind, find a common ground, appreciate each other even if you don’t see the big deal in it, and take turns. When we fight, we don’t fight for long. We sulk, then scream at each other, but when the first tears fall it’s all over and we make up.