My House Hunters drinking game #Pop Culture#alcohol#games#HGTV#tv June 15 | Megan Finley Horowitz meggyfin Everyone's buzzing this week about HGTV's House Hunters being fake. To that I say, "No shit! NO ONE only looks at just three houses, chooses one of them, and then closes in, what, a month? With their boxes all unpacked, ready to awkwardly chop vegetables while they talk about how much they got used to all the things they pretended to hate." Instead of acting outraged that a staged reality show is staged, I say LET'S DRINK! I seriously watch HGTV all day long, so I've seen my fair share of House Hunters episodes. (I'm such a fan that I forced my dad's real estate agent to let us tour an ACTUAL House Hunters-featured home in Texas. The agent who showed it confirmed all those things I suspected of being true.) I've seen the show so many times that, of course, I started to become BEYOND annoyed with the constant (and generally stupid as hell) complaints. But I love the show! So, in order to cope with the barrage of home buyer idiocy (real or not, it's still all up in my grill), I've developed my own drinking game. You know, lemons, lemonade, etc. Wanna play it with me? Here's how… Take a drink every time… Someone mentions the lack of, or gets excited about the apparent splendor that is, double sinks. Someone complains about (CLEARLY UNCHANGEABLE!) paint colors. Someone complains about the backyard not being fenced. Someone says, "this [blank] is dated." Someone complains that they "really wanted granite." The woman says some variation of "well this is MY closet… where will you put YOUR stuff?" Someone says, "but we REALLY wanted stainless steel." Someone complains about lack of crown moulding. Take two drinks every time… Someone complains that their furniture won't fit in a room. You see their current home with an entire room devoted to, and practically EXPLODING with, their kid's toys. A man mentions how he'll turn a room into a "man cave." A woman contradicts that guy and argues that it'll be her "craft room." Lightning round! At the end of the show, all must submit their guess for which house they pick. Those who guess right don't have to drink. Whoever guesses wrong has to drink whatever is left in their glass, which honestly, shouldn't be all that much by this point. Okay, House Hunter fans: what are YOUR drinking game rules? I know you have them! Reporter Name * Reporter Email * Original text Enter the original text here. Edited text* Enter your suggested copyedit here. Notes You can add a note for the editor here. * Required information. Fix Typo Megan Finley Horowitz When Megan's not writing, traveling, and sleeping, she's eating like the fate of the world depends on it. (You're welcome, world!) You can snoop into her personal life over on her website The Dash and Dine! @meggyfin @thedashanddine @meggyfin PREVIOUS When it comes to birth, which is more important: the practitioner or the place? NEXT JCPenney's Father's Day ad is rocking my world Show/Hide comments [ 115 ] 80% of reality TV is staged. I don't know why people are surprised, shocked, and disappointed by this. The other 20% is Gordon Ramsay calling people "donkeys." 61 agree Reply I totally love this and Husband and I play it with or without drinks. I laughed out loud at the Double Sinks thing (what, you can sleep in the same bed, piss in the same pot but GOD FORBID YOU SHARE A SINK??). I'm also really good at guessing which house they'll prefer. Our rules: 1)When, after one of the above complaints, the Agent says "Why don't we have a look over here?" and is clearly thinking "F$%k you." 2)When a woman says "I'm just not really getting a good vibe from the house". 3)Complaints about a lack of view or lack of space when it's clearly going to be $50,000 over budget to have either a better view or more space. 4)Use of the word CHARM. 5)Use of the phrase "It has good bones." 6)The phrase "We REALLY wanted an open concept layout." (2 Drinks if all they're looking at are tiny craftsman/colonials on the east coast.) 7)BOUNS! House Hunters International: When someone makes a reference to how the property really gives them (or doesn't give them that) "____Insert Country or Culture Here___" feel. NEWS FLASH: YOU'RE IMMERSED IN THAT COUNTRY/CULTURE, DING-A-LING. STOP EXPECTING EVERY SINGLE THING TO LIVE UP TO YOUR PRECONCEIVED NOTION ABOUT WHAT THAT CULTURE/COUNTRY SHOULD LOOK LIKE. Great post, I heart it. 33 agree Reply HAHAHA! Omg, House Hunters International needs it's own separate drinking game for SURE. My favorite: "This is definitely different than what we're used to in America." NO SHIT! 42 agree Reply Oh my gosh! This one woman was trying to buy a house in Noway (I think. Her man was from there) and she kept complaining about everything! She was the wooorst example of an entitled American woman! She complained that everything looked like a cottage and was too 'strange'. It's a different culture! It's not supposed to be the same! And what made me reaaal mad was that at the end of the episode instead of buying a gorgeous Nordic home (My dream house) she chose to spend 1 million dollars building a replica of her home in the States! oh house hunters international… I get so worked up. 8 agree Reply YES. That one specifically, I remember wanting to smack her. And another where an Army wife passed over two absolutely STUNNING Japanese homes in Okinawa in favor of the one most like her suburban monstrosity in Texas. 17 agree Reply Did you see the one with the couple from Texas that were moving to I think England? Not only did they compare everything to Texas, but the women kept mocking the real estate agent's accent! 5 agree OMG, THIS!! I would have killed to have moved in to either of the Okinawan homes (the one with the stained glass had me drooling). That was the first time I ever screamed at the TV and the last time I watched House Hunters International. "where's the dishwasher? there's no tub? that thing is the AC?" sometimes i hope they have follow up episodes to find out if the couple even stays married beyond that… 3 agree Reply I lose my shit when the American searching for the "perfectly romantic garret apartment" in a historic Parisian building in the 14th arrondissement says "Whoa… this is a bathroom?! It's tiny!!" Duh, honey. What did you expect? That building was designed before indoor plumbing was a thing! 8 agree Are you serious?! Oh, that just breaks my heart! I can't believe she didn't buy the lovely Nordic home! That really does make me a little teary-eyed 🙁 Reply Add-on drink for #7: The agent follows with, "That's how we do it here in *country* !" 3 agree Reply Oh god, HHInternational. I want to THROTTLE all the stereotypical American women who complain that the closets/bathrooms/bedrooms aren't big enough for their seven hundred pairs of shoes or whatever. Or when they say "It simply MUST have an 'American-style' bathroom!" GRRRR! 3 agree Reply Or they freak out when "the house doesn't come with a kitchen… they take it with them when they move". Yeah, they do it here in the US too, but it's called foreclosure! 1 agrees Reply Oh! Bonus points if the woman fakes an accent from that country. Sweet Cheesus and Crackers…I watched an episode of some American woman who had been living in England for a year with her partner, and she's from Alabama or somewhere…BUT SHE HAD A ENGLISH ACCENT! It was such a bad fake accent too! Then halfway through the show, she accidentally slipped back to her normal accent, and the realtor was like…WTF. She got super embarrassed. 15 agree Reply Take a drink every time someone says "This backyard isn't big enough for *insert dumb dog name here* to run around." Take FIVE drinks any time the male of the couple has an opinion on anything (gay couples don't count). 7 agree Reply http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWoWHzq21tA Mitchell and Webb (a british comedey duo) do a great sketch making fun of this show, basically pointing out the "requirements" of reality TV. You will laugh! 13 agree Reply I <3 David Mitchell so so so much. 1 agrees Reply OMG!!! That was a beautiful thing. But… but but but — NO mention of the carpeting in the bathroom!??? 😉 3 agree Reply Mitchell and Webb are genius!! You should look on youtube for 'David Mitchell's Soapbox'. Great stuff. Reply I'd add you have to take a drink every time an agent shows them a house outside their "desired" neighborhood. Everyone has to take drink if that's the house they choose. 3 agree Reply This is especially important in Toronto, for Love It or List It couples. Apparently, only one Toronto neighborhood has any decent schools or amenities, and lives are ruined with any commute over 15 minutes. 1 agrees Reply Ugh, Love it or List it. GAH that show makes me so angry. 3 agree Reply I would be drunk just from the double sinks alone! **Drink anytime they have awkward b-roll of the couple trying to cook in their kitchen that's too small – "oh boy I just bumped into you we need a bigger kitchen" 14 agree Reply I love that part. It's like, It would be so much easier if you both cooked with your elbows kind of tucked against your bodies like real people do it. 1 agrees Reply OMG I'd be so trashed by the end of ONE episode! LOL Love watching that show, but yeah, the people sometimes really get on my nerve. I'm sure my rented three bedroom, older townhouse would give them a lot to complain about, but we LOVE it! 2 agree Reply 1) i actually saw an episode once where the buyer didn't like any of the three homes, so the show actually talked about showing the buyer more homes. so at least once or twice they've let the curtain drop a bit just to show that it sometimes takes more than 3 homes. not to mention, imagine how long the show would be if they showed the real process of visiting 20+ homes before making a decision. of course they narrow it down to three! anyone who is surprised at editing and staging in a reality show, is just naïve and ridiculous! 2) "someone mentions the lack of, or gets excited about the apparent splendor that is, double sinks." haha no no seriously my real estate agent is like this!! if a bathroom doesn't have double sinks, she sees that as a huge turn off and starts talking about what it's going to take to put a second sink in. yeah they're nice, and we want them, but it's not a deal breaker!! 3) my biggest pet peeve is the "dated" comment! the other day i watched an episode where the agent told the couple that the carpet was a new type of shag. omg they wouldn't let it go! the wife kept bitching about the outdated shag carpeting. it was beige and new! it wasn't some 70's remnant! it was just longer fibered carpet! but once they heard that word "shag" it immediately became "dated"! on another episode (international) a couple asked what was up with the ceiling and the agent said it was a style very popular in the 80's for england. from that point forward the ceiling was dated and they didn't want dated. um… you aren't english! it's not dated to you! it could be from last year and you wouldn't have had a clue if no one had told you! arrrrrgh!! STFU WITH THE "DATED" BS!! I'm pregnant right now, so I'll have to play with crystal light mocktail mixes, but I can't wait to play this game with some good booze! 4 agree Reply Oh double sink… My FAVORITE is when they show the couple "struggling" to get shit done at their one lowly sink. Maybe that guy I married and I are weird, but we have NEVER tried to brush our teeth at the same time. Having only one sink in one location has never been that big of a problem. 16 agree Reply my husband and i sometimes share the sink when we're brushing teeth, though usually he goes to read reddit or facebook while he brushes and i watch a minute or two of tv in the bedroom and pet a cat. when we do stand at the sink, we don't stand on each others feet and elbow check one another! it really isn't that hard to coordinate spit times! we share the shower too… never hear the buyers complain about only having one shower! one toilet in said bathroom (though we have two bathrooms) no one complains about that either! 5 agree Reply My fiance share a bathroom that has one sink in a diagonal corner and we have no problem. One of us has to squish into a tiny corner while the other enjoys the relative freedom of the rest of the bathroom, but we just devolve into shoulder checking each other lightly back and forth for room as a joke. If a couple can't laugh through those annoying things I can't imagine how they'll make it through life! Reply There was an episode recently where the couple wanted two toilets and maybe it was the same ones, or not, that was obsessed with having it in it's own little room. Do these people use a public toilet?? Reply Wait, what? When you said double sinks I thought you meant those kitchen sinks with a full size sink and then a smaller one for rinsing or whatever. Even when I'm making crazy Sim houses I don't think it ever occured to me to have two sinks in one bathroom, I had no idea this was a thing. 11 agree Reply There was an episode last night where the husband was obsessed with having a "5 piece bathroom" which meant double sinks along with the toilet, shower, and separate tub. It's the first time I've ever seen the husband care about the bathroom sinks. Reply Yea, we have antique porcelain stand sinks in our house. I didn't know double sinks were a thing either. I mean, my dad gets up at 4 am for work (he does maintenance and needs to get in before the office workers to clean the offices) and my mom does the usual 9 – 5 business, so they don't have to coordinate times anyway. And, granted, we have three bathrooms (our 150 year old house was a duplex at one point), but we have never run into the problem of people brushing their teeth in the bathroom at the same time. It's called take freaking turns. It's what my dad and his twin brother had to do in the 50's while sharing one bathroom with three sisters. I assumed a schedule was the normal thing! 2 agree Reply I know right? I have never considered that a bathroom would need more than one sink. Reply Haha this is funny because my husband and I would never have thought to look for houses with double sinks, we ended up with just one sink and we always want to use it at the same time and always bump into each other and drive each other nuts. Reply I must be the only person in the world who dislikes double sinks. You know what a double sink is? Another sink to clean.. The boyfriend can hip check me all he likes. 26 agree Reply I know, right??? I feel the exact same way. Reply Your #1 actually reminds me that waaaay back in the early days of House Hunters, they used to show three homes but they would call them "Home 4" and "Home 7" and "Home "15" – so the buyer would look at a bunch of homes but only show the three most interested on the show, I guess. 6 agree Reply Oh god yes all of this. My favorite: on a balcony, "Oh no, that's a long way down, the kids will fall!" Alternate ending: parent your children. 24 agree Reply YES! YES YES YES!! saw a HH:International ep the other day where a couple turned down a beautiful home because it had a well in it. the well was covered with a glass (plexiglass?) cover. the well had been in the home for several hundred years. also they weren't comfortable with the very old timey stove that was always hot. the kids could fall in! the kids would put their hands on the stove and get burned. well yes… like ALL KIDS DO… and they would only do it once! and the well was blocked off! im sure they wouldnt be the first children to live in the house. PARENT YOUR KIDS! hell… tell them there's a monster in the well! that's how my parents kept me away from the pool-converted-to-pond in our backyard! and it worked! and no im not scarred from the "lie" i love swimming… in clean water 7 agree Reply I really wanna play now. Good news for my fellow non-cable-having people: it's not on Netflix, but it is on Hulu (for those able to access it). 3 agree Reply Yess! I was starting to feel nostalgic for cable days, but I'll totally watch these on hulu. A side note about the double sink thing—I'm not saying it's a dealbreaker, or a big deal, but I DO love having a double sink. My husband and I both have a ton of stuff out on the sink, and we DO actually both get ready quite often at the same exact time (we usually shower together, so we're usually ready for brushing our teeth, doing our hair, etc at the same time). It's not impossible to do with a single sink, but having a double definitely decreases our odds of accidentally hitting each other (which happens a lot. I'm clumsy). Again, it's totally not a dealbreaker, but if you're looking at houses and not totally in love with something, it's something to put in the "con" column if you actually use both. I also think you should drink every time the hunter is a single chick with a sassy friend, and the sassy friend makes a huge deal about something no one cares about. "OMG, look at that tile! It's so dated! I don't think I could see that every day, could YOU?!" 5 agree Reply My husband and I have "double sinks" now, after sharing a tiny bathroom for a long time. They are convenient. I like that I never have to deal with his little hairs in the sink from shaving. It doesn't bother me when it is on his side 🙂 We also have a separate "Poop Room" off of the bathroom that has just the toilet. While neither of those things is a deal breaker…it really is less stressful getting ready in the morning! 3 agree Reply You guys shower together on a regular basis? Are you two some sort of wizards? Whenever my dude and I try to do that one of us ends up looking like Jack Nicholson at the end of The Shining. 3 agree Reply Wait. WHAT? House Hunters on Hulu? How, what… I didn't KNOW! Bless your soul, Colleen. You've done your good deed for the day and you can slack off now. 🙂 5 agree Reply Hulu? What? My days were already jam packed with watching the 15 minute "teasers" on HGTV.com, now they have full ones? Oh, internets, it's times like these that I love you. 1 agrees Reply If you want to dominate at the HH game and always pick the one they end up with – choose the house without furniture. Since they already have to have a contract on a house, it's not going to be the one with furniture in it. Go back and watch a few episodes. It's always the empty one. 3 agree Reply Now this show will never be the same! 1 agrees Reply I've got nothing new to add other than to applaud Megan's beer selection Holy Ail FTW. 6 agree Reply I discovered it when shopping for beers for my Nerdy 30. It's now my favorite beer of all time. 2 agree Reply I've been to the Black Sheep Brewery, I used to live close-ish to it – such a fun tour. You could get right close to everything, at least 10 years ago you could. Reply …or as it's known in this example, "LIA YLOH" 😀 1 agrees Reply shut it! 😉 Reply Yes ma'am 🙂 Ha! I'm actually in the process of applying to be on House Hunters International! And it will be fake as hell! We bought our place over 6 months ago and have been living in it since then. I'm not sure that I would go through with it if we did make the cut, but I'm so curious to see what it's like. A friend of a friend did it recommended we try, just for the hell of it. I'm mostly curious to find out how they script/prompt what the people (specifically the women) should say. A friend of mine did an episode of "Like It or List It" and she said they pretty much bullied her into being a whiny bitch who didn't like anything and complained the whole time, when really she was perfectly happy with all the renovations. She was upset about it and nervous for it to air because she didn't want people to see her that way. If we get on maybe I'll write a post about our experience! 15 agree Reply One drink for every time someone says, "This would be GREAT for entertaining." That's pretty much in every episode. 4 agree Reply HAHA! Great minds. I didn't see your comment before I posted. Reply OOH! I have a new rule! 1 drink for any variation of, we love to entertain! This would be great/not-so-great for entertaining. We would like to be able to entertain. Etc. For once I'd love to hear someone say, "This would be the perfect house for one hell of a party!" House Hunters. I love that show. 1 agrees Reply I always thought I must be from another planet, because I HATE to "entertain" I just don't like having a bunch of people in my house. My home is refuge, it's my safe place, it's MINE…and I don't want a bunch of people in it. Now I know I'm not the only one, right? RIGHT?? 10 agree Reply I'm the same way. Well, I like having people over but I like it to be for a relatively short and clearly defined periods of time. But mostly home is my space to be away from other people. 2 agree Reply I am exactly the same way about "entertaining," which is probably why that whole notion sticks out to me so much in the HH world. I like having people over to eat my delicious food and drink some good booze, but after about 1-2 hours I am DONE. Done. I want to take off my bra and stretch out on the couch. Hey… maybe if I did that more often, I'd have more guests? 😉 6 agree Reply When I'm looking for a place, I'll want it to have a situation where the bedrooms are kind of in a different part of the house (another floor or through a hallway with a doorway), because I do love to entertain, but I like my space to be my own. 2 agree Reply Every time the agent says "It's really going to be a challenge to find what they want for the budget they have. Every time a young couple says "We have to be able to walk to our favorite bars and restaurants." My favorite HH episode ever was a really country family shopping in the middle of nowhere. It was really funny. Wish they had more stuff like that. 4 agree Reply When the boyfriend and I were house hunting, I was all, "HGTV LIED TO MEEEEEEE!!!" 5 agree Reply Are these shows on Hulu, Netflix or Amazon? Cause this is a drinking game I would play. edit: So I had glazed over half the comments and missed the mention of Hulu. Thank you kindly, a different Colleen! 1 agrees Reply It looks like House Hunters is available on Hulu 1 agrees Reply So technically, it appears that you can link from hulu to HGTV's own website, where their HH archives seem to be stored…but so long as you can do it through an online connection, it should be fine. 1 agrees Reply When we bought our home my mom (a big HH fan) would text me daily to remind me that I CAN indeed change the paint color/wall paper. No shit, mom! I always find that hilarious that they bring up the wall decor, since that's usually the first thing people change, anyway! 3 agree Reply This is my pet hate with ALL house buying shows. You're never going to find a completely perfect house and it's far better to get one where something really minor like the colour needs changing than one where you hate the layout or will want to add rooms. Then again I already know I'm going to want a house in craxy colours so it's pretty much a given that I'll be repainting, even (or especially) if the sellers redecorated the place ready for selling. 2 agree Reply It annoys me that they never look at important things like the roof, the heaters, the foundation, the wiring, the windows/insulation. Also, I'd love to hear "we'd get awesome/terrible Internet here!" 10 agree Reply My biggest pet peeve is when parents with small children go "Oh, that's so not safe for the baby!" It seems to be the biggest with pools. "That's not safe for Little Timmy!" Um, Little Timmy isn't going to be two forever, and maybe 10-year-old Timmy would LOVE to have a pool in his freaking back yard! Until then, slap a fence up around that puppy! It's one thing if YOU, the adult, don't want a pool or something, but don't make housing decisions based on your toddler! 2 agree Reply Even better get the house with the pool and spend some time as a family teaching Little Timmy to swim. Kids can learn to swim from a very young age (about when they start learning to walk I think) and that way you get a fun activity to do together, don't have to worry about your kid falling in the pool and you're teaching them a useful (potentially life saving) skill. 3 agree Reply We totally did this with my mom's best friend's daughter. She started swimming in our pool before she was 1. By the time she was 4 she could swim in the deep end (albeit with supervision). If you start a young child off with the dunking and when you bring them up, say "Yay! What a good job!" and start clapping, they start getting really excited about swimming. 1 agrees Reply We had a big in-ground pool growing up, so we had to learn to swim. I think I started lessons when I was two. There was also a fence around the pool. Made the whole pool thing a lot less dangerous. Reply My mum totally started teaching all of us to swim in the bathtub when we were little. We didn't have a pool, but our folks went to the quarry all summer long. I don't know about other places but I know in New Hampshire and Arizona there are actually laws about fencing around pools. If a door leads out to a pool the handle/lock has to be a certain height from the ground and all sorts of silly things. Reply these sorts of precautions are not silly. 7 agree Reply Evee!! Excellent rule and my point exactly! ! Reply Take a drink every time the couple says their (usually an only) child's name….I saw one episode that every room the couple entered, they commented on how their one-year-old child would enjoy it!!!!! Reply Ooh ooh, followed by "but we'd have to change the paint color." Because they're no WAY their little girl could ever stand to have a BLUE bedroom. THE HORROR! 14 agree Reply Haha, I'm so glad you did this. My husband and I have been joking about starting such a drinking game, specifically over the women-need-big-closets, men-need-backyard-space-for-barbecue comments. 1 agrees Reply Ugh, am I the only one that absolutely hates this show? I can't stand it, and I don't think I've ever watched an entire episode start to finish. And HGTV always played multiple episodes back to back. 4 agree Reply The rules for this drinking game are just stabbing reminders for why this show drives me bonkers. I just yell angrily at the screen (mostly YOU CAN CHANGE THE PAINT COLOUR, IDIOT) before I quit it and switch to the Food Network (only to find Rachel Ray or Guy Fieri on, so I shut off the TV and sit in grumpy silence, instead.) I'm a hater. 5 agree Reply Seriously!! I hate when they dwell on the things that can be soooo easily changed. My fiance and I have a drinking game for every time one of the house hunters says, "This is nice." or "This is huge." or "This is so big!"…well insert dirty mind comments on those too-we are usually laughing like crazy if they say "This is so big" enough times. 1 agrees Reply Ooh, that's a whole NEW drinking game. Drink anytime there's a sexual innuendo. "I'm not sure it's going to fit," et al. 😉 3 agree Reply Love this. I usually sneak my HH fix at 6 am before or after my morning run, so I probably won't be drinking (probably) but I love that other folks find it as hilarious as I do. Reply UGH HH is such a guilty pleasure for me, tv junk food for sure. Being from the Northeast it drives me CRAZY when a couple from Texas bitch about paying over $200 grand for a brand new 5,000 sq foot house. Also a drink for hardwood floors. "oh i really hate carpet, is there hardwood under here?" "I was really hoping for darker hardwood" "I wish they continued the hardwood up the stairs" and it goes on and on and on gah! 4 agree Reply And being from Texas, it drives me crazy that couples from other areas of the country mention that they have such a tiny budget — a quarter-million dollars! (Actually, it doesn't drive me crazy so much as make me mentally calculate how much more our income would need to rise for us to afford to move to some areas of the States. Good thing our jobs look fairly stable right now!) 1 agrees Reply Also, Amen to the home prices. I too live in the Northeast and I don't get fed up with people having $200K budgets and expecting the moon, I am merely jealous that is possible in other parts of the country. While $200K in Boston would not afford me the luxury of indoor living. 2 agree Reply Does anyone remember an HGTV show called 'Trading Spaces'?? Most would know it as the show where Ty Pennington got his start. That show was a treasure trove of unintentionally hilarious television, largely due to the efforts of one of the designers, Hildy Santo-Tomas. Hildi had an eclectic taste that was almost guaranteed to clash with the homeowners. Also she was insanely, insanely, insanely impractical. Classic Hildi moments include : — Turning a living room into a pink-and-white striped circus tent — Burning up a power saw trying to "hand-make" a parquet floor. (Too bad nobody thought to stop her before she ripped up the existing flooring.) — Spray-painting a couch pink and then leaving it outside at night where it got soaked. Supposedly HGTV got served with 2 lawsuits for her efforts — one for tacking hay all over a wall and another for screwing wine corks into a wall. I never saw those episodes but I do remember the look on the homeowners face when she discovered Hildy had covered an entire wall in peat moss. PRICELESS!! Another favorite designer was Doug Wilson. Doug had an, um, well let's call it an exaggerated sense of self. If the homeowner wanted to preserve some part of the room, that seemed to offend Doug's sensibility and he would go out of his way to remove/cover/destroy the item. I would just shake my head any time a homeowner said "We love the brick fireplace. Please don't do it anything to it." Oh honey, you might as well sledge-hammer it yourself. 3 agree Reply YES! I was wondering what happened to Trading Spaces — law suits, of course! Man that was always a giant shit show. 2 agree Reply The sad thing is it didn't start as shit. It started really cool — there was a time constraint, a lot of problem solving and design improvisation and of course the magical reveal at the end. I loved to see what Ty and Amy could come up with. Somewhere along the line it went off the rails. I think the initial hook was supposed to be mild conflict between neighbors, like "will the Greens like what the Browns did to their formerly blue living room??" Somehow that devolved into the Browns trying to prevent Hildi from turning the Greens' living room into Neptune's Closet and then to Doug denigrating both the Greens and the Browns for not understanding why grandma's rocking chair had to be destroyed to fit into his "Adams Family meets IM Pei" vision for the room. But it had a really long run ( like 10 years? ) and lots of spin-offs and not every designer on it was hellbent on reconstructing the stage set from Sweeney Todd. 4 agree Reply I agree with all of this! I remember watching it when I went to college in '99. Some were hilarious, and some were awful but initially it was great! But you're right, it just became awful and awkward! And I am just odd enough to think having a Sweeney Todd-esque room would be awesome lol. 1 agrees Reply Not to totally threadjack the comments… I used to watch Trading Spaces until it became clear to me they were just fucking with people for ratings. The last show I watched was where a woman who professed to love "country" decor was handed the worst, most blase, interpretation of "modern". She actually cried. I'm sure that show got great ratings. Jerks. Reply I think Trading Spaces wasn't a HGTV show … think it was on TLC… 1 agrees Reply You're right! All those home networks blur together in my mind… 1 agrees Reply The thing I'm always blown away by (and this goes for 'Say Yes to the Dress' as well) is the insane price of everything. So many of the houses cost $25K to over a million dollars. My husband and I both work full-time and are by no means poor, and there's NO WAY we could ever afford houses like that. We have what I consider to be a pretty nice place that cost us under 100K. I tried watching House Hunters when we first started looking but got nothing out of it because I didn't feel I could relate to the buyers and the eye-candy houses. 2 agree Reply It really depends on where you live. I'm in Los Angeles and in my neighborhood you can't get a single-family home for under $500,000. Two bedroom condos start in the $300ks. That has always been my reality. But then again, the salaries are a bit higher due to the cost of living in a big city. Not that I personally could ever afford a real house, but just saying. I'm sort of the opposite of you – I watch House Hunters and am in shock that someone can get a nice home for a budget of $250k. It's so unrealistic in my world. 1 agrees Reply Yup, right there with you. As a Los Angelino, I watch House Hunters and dream about the day I could find a gorgeous house for less than half a mil! Reply You're probably right. I'm from the Midwest. I've heard that rent and other living expenses can be crazy high in major cities compared to where I'm from. Reply That should be 250K not 25K. Damn fingers… Reply Take a drink whenever someone says of a space "well, it's a little small…" Seriously, I could plastered just from that with some people. Reply I had that on the original write up, but then I thought, maybe I'm the ONLY one who doesn't think those spaces are "small." I guess not! Eff it — take a drink! 😉 2 agree Reply Sorry, I'm a little tired today because I watched 3 episodes of "Love It or List It" and 2 of House Hunters last night before bed. I was actually a bit relieved to hear it is staged because a hard time with humanity being so picky/stupid. I love to yell at the TV while watching and this may make it even more enjoyable. My favorite gripe is (usually young) couples complaining about no "open concept" floor plan or no double sinks while touring a house built in the 1900s-1960s. I want to scream "IDIOTS! Those are 1980s-1990s McMansion concepts!!" You can't look at a Victorian and complain that the rooms are too closed off. I was happy to hear that it was TV producers bullying people into complaining over stupid stuff and conforming to gender roles and not just that many stupid people. I guess its not really better, just more understandable. 1 agrees Reply "Someone complains about (CLEARLY UNCHANGEABLE!) paint colors." I don't know if I've watched House Hunters, or some knock-off show, but THIS is the one that bugged me. "I have the patience and family support to live with my parents for TWO YEARS after college graduation, so I can buy a $200k house. But I do not have the $40, family support, or a weekend's worth of patience to paint the kitchen white instead of burnt orange." I was also annoyed by the rich, child-free couple who wanted to trade their mansion in for a bigger mansion because, obviously, 6k square feet of air conditioning with extra-high ceilings for 2 people in a desert (on a golf course…with a private pool…that has a waterfall feature) is clearly not destroying the environment fast enough. Though, I have to admit, I'm totally down with the child-safety people. A pool is on my "deal breaker" list, in a large part because I want my children to be able to play in the back yard without supervision, and I don't want a fence in the middle of my back yard. 1 agrees Reply haha i know what you mean about the rich people. the other day i saw the beginning of an episode about an arizona couple (where im at) that wanted a summer home in the bahamas or someplace like that. when they showed the home they live in here i looked at my husband and said, "oh geez they live in one of the multi-million dollar homes in PV (rich area). " then they went on to talk about how they wanted a SUMMER HOME with equal square footage to what they are living in here… YOU'RE ONLY IN IT FOR THE SUMMER!! WTF DO YOU NEED LIKE 8000 SQ FT ON VACATION FOR??? and it was just the two of them! (same episode maybe?) on the pool thing, my husband and i are looking for new homes and we want either a pool or a community with a pool. if we're going to pay HOA fees, it's going to be for something we actually use! if it's our own pool, then we're going to have a fence AND an automatic cover. but i lean more towards the community pool 🙂 great for letting the kids socialize with other kids too Reply LOL. Love this. Reply Double drink when the lazy mofo bitches aobut "all those stairs" 2 agree Reply Oh Megan Finley. You made me laugh. Thank you. Reply Ok, so adding to the episodes where the couple talks about their one year old loving something, what about the ones with pets… It drives me bonkers when they're like "oh yea this room is so open I think Chichi will really love this place!!" It's a DOG. It wants food, a place to poop, and for you to play with it. It doesn't give one single shit about your "open concept" floor plan or whatnot. 3 agree Reply I like this drinking game. The prospective buyers also way over-use the word "nice". That is an alternate drinking game in and of itself. Reply No one mentioned the couple in Vegas moving back to Michigan (she was a Rockette or something and in pageants). She rolled her eyes at so much, the scratches, the cat hair… Oh, but she found her crown <3 (LOLOLOLOLOL!!!) My other favorite most annoying couple is the banker who had to downsize. His son's bedroom had living room furniture in it, it was so huge. Reply In my area, which is really affordable, a privacy fence costs at minimum $10,000, so that is something totally worth complaining about, in my opinion. I'm house hunting right now, and I won't buy a house that doesn't have a fenced-in yard, and, yes, it's because of what one commenter called "my stupid dog." I understand ripping on the show–and the paint color complaint drives me nuts–but a lot of these are legitimate concerns when house hunting, so I don't get y'all's ire. Reply It's not that they're not legitimate concerns — it's that when you hear the same complaint over and over and over and over… It's time to start the dranking! 😉 Reply The boy and I tend to find enormous glee in adding "that's what she/he said" and in taking everything that the couple says as sexual innuendo. We can't be the only ones that do that…right? 3 agree Reply Two drinks every time someone walks into a totally functional bathroom/kitchens and says "This room is a total gut job" One drink every time one partner says something they like and the other one says they hate that One drink every time someone, who wants to buy an old home with "vintage charm", complains about how there are no closets or the closet are small. Reply Join the conversation Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment No-drama comment policy Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. 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