Leo D's renting out his beach house this summer so I need 300 of you to give me $500 each

May 31 |
Photo used courtesy of CasaSugar.

JUST IN TIME FOR SUMMER: I was recently told that Leonardo DiCaprio is renting his Malibu beach house this summer for a cool $150,000 a month. Reality aside (because seriously: 150k! A month!), I immediately started thinking of all the things I would do in said beach house.

I got about halfway through the slideshow before it dawned on me that it DOESN'T mean Leo will also be living in the house just because I coughed up $150,000 (of pretend money I don't have), so about half of them would never come to fruition… but the other half? Game on.

These two are my favorites -- the top is HUGE and the bottom gets awesome light. PLUS it has mismatched bedside tables. Leo, you're so quirky.

After clicking over to the actual house listing and discovering that the rental fee for a lease over six months is only $75,000 a month (WHEW! Because that really makes a difference), I also discovered the house has seven bedrooms. This is exactly six more than the one bedroom apartment my husband, son, and dog are currently sharing with me, so my first order of business would be to frolic throughout each bedroom a la Jack Dawson at that killer steerage party:

GIF: Jack dancing #Titanic on Twitpic

Indeed.

I would then make a fruity and incredibly alcoholic beverage (or would there be someone to do this for me? Is that included, Leo?) and proceed to lounge around on either the amazing teal couch or somewhere on the awesome wooden patio while contemplating the various beauties of life and looking at the ocean.

If I wasn't finished contemplating (can you ever finish if you're spending 30 to 31 glorious days by the ocean in Leo D's house?), I'd immediately shimmy over to the media room. Perhaps I'd even pop in an old school flick like Critters 3 and relive Leo's foxy youth.

Really, my month spent in Leo's fancy beach house would be mostly fixated on doing absolutely nothing but sending out a "OMG I'M IN LEONARDO DICAPRIO'S HOUSE!!!!!!!!!" Tweet every 45 minutes… from my phone… while hanging out here:

And I'd probably ring up the landlord (do you think you get to talk to him?!?) and ask if I could paint, because HOLY SHIT that's a lot of white and gray.

What would you do in Leo's place if the magic money fairy gifted you $150,000 to spend on rent?

  1. Set up a cash registry. Rent for your wedding. And then have your honeymoon there, too.

    0 agree
    • AND THEN TAKE IT OVER AND NEVER LET HIM COME BACK

      5 agree
    • I'm already married, or this would be brilliant.

      PS: if someone else does this, invite me?

      PPS: do you think the listing agent would take pity on me if I told her I could quote all of his lines from every movie he's ever been in? Because I'm 96% sure I can.

      0 agree
      • I WISH we could afford to do it!! But, no way. And our families could not come if we had a location wedding. SAD.

        0 agree
      • Also, I AM TOTALLY INVITING THE OFFBEAT TEAM TO MY WEDDING OMGGGGGSHHH YOU CAN COME STEPHANIE YOU CAN COME

        0 agree
  2. I don't know about y'all, but if I was asking that much for rent I'd spring for better photography.

    It's not just me, right? Those pictures are all fuzzy!

    2 agree
    • TOTALLY AGREED! I was like "LEO! I WILL TAKE BETTER PHOTOS FOR YOU!" …let me stay here.

      4 agree
  3. Proof that nothing's ever good enough for me: I'm like, where's the amenities, Leo? I dunno if it's just poor staging or what, but these rooms look on par with places I've rented for $1,500 a week. =\
    On second thought, it's probably just my bitter resentment that I can't actually rent Leo.

    5 agree
  4. the property listing is telling me $45,00 a month…. with 7 bedrooms, that's only $6428.60 per couple if we share…

    pretty sure that master bedroom's bigger than your whole appartment Arial, Bubbs could crash on the couch in there…

    Or we could set up kiddy beds in a spare living room where all the kids that come along can all sleep together…

    0 agree
    • Best holiday EVER. Hanging out with awesome people, in an awesome place, doing awesome things. It couldn't get much better than that.

      Why do I have to live on the opposite side of the world?

      1 agrees
  5. The space is great, the view is great, and Leo is great. But honestly, the decor is rather boring. I'm with you on the "paint the walls" idea!

    0 agree
  6. I'd hide somewhere until he comes back. And when he does, i'd be on the teal sofa in the well known Rose-style and i'd say "paint me like one of your french girls"!

    3 agree

Join the conversation

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

No-drama comment policy

Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy.

Biz owners & wedding bloggers

Please just use your real name in your comment, not your business name or blog title. Our comments are not the place to pimp your website. If you want to promote your stuff on Offbeat Bride, join us as an advertiser instead.