ZOMG Smells: the only place you can buy the scent of a Triceratops

December 9 |
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Turn to ZOMG Smells when you want to smell like a Giant Robot Birthday Party.
ZOMG Smells is ZOMG amazing. They're our new sponsor. They make fine, nerdy scents with very specific names. And the amount of perfect they are for the Offbeat Empire readers is nuts.

Background information: the weekend of Geek Girl Con, all the Empire staff got a little Squees in our welcome bags. We each pulled out our Squees and compared: Megan took a whiff of one: "Ew, this smells like a wet hippie." Ariel snatched away the vial, inhaled, and cried: "OMG IT TOTALLY SMELLS LIKE A WET HIPPIE. I love it!"

I think that's a pretty good introduction to ZOMG Smells.

Like I said, ZOMG Smells makes fine nerdy scents for fine nerdy people! They cater right to the nerdiest among us. Check it: They have an entire set for physics lovers. Or fall in love with the description of the ZOMG Smells Triceratops scent: It's herbal, masculine, and Pangean: with bay laurel, dry grasses, white pepper, sun-weathered wood.

I'm in.

So nerdy.

These scents leave the potpouri-grossness of department store perfume counters so far in the dust. I'd love to walk into Macy's and pick up a vial based on Magnacephalopoda Aesthetica, the ancient squid which some paleontologists think may have arranged bones to make art.

How many other beauty goods companies would base their spokesquid on a new addition to the fossil record?

Not into octopodes? How about:

The ladies' goods are affordable, too: how about gifting a set of 13 Squee vials (for men!) for $30? You can also pick and choose any selection of 10 scents for $23. Did we mention? If you place an order of $50 or more, it'll ship for free, worldwide.

You should start putting together your order now — each of these vials contains a scent personally engineered and handmixed by Holly and Ariel, the ZOMG Smells team, and it takes 10-15 days to process and pack each shipment.

Long story short: we at the Empire are big fans of what ZOMG Smells makes, and you're going to fall in love with this nerdy business, too.

  1. This is AWESOME!!!
    There was this joke ad going around about scented candles for reenactors, like wet wool and cannon smoke. Maybe a future scent? :D

    0 agree
  2. I have been a fan of ZOMGSmells for a little over two years now, and a fan of the Offbeat Empire for a little over a year, and seeing that two of my favorite things have joined together just makes me UBER-happy. I honestly won't wear a perfume from anywhere else, and 90% of my wedding planning ideas have come from Offbeat Bride.

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  3. WOW.

    i just spent the last however long reading through the descriptions of every single scent they offer. i recommend doing so, for comedic value alone, and now there are about half a dozen scents i want to try (never mind that i never wear perfume).

    because, really — a set of smells dedicated to the QUARKS?!? what's not to love?!? =)

    1 agrees
  4. this is awesome!

    but seriously, i love it when you stick little gems in your posts like the comment about the art-making kraken

    LOVE

    5 agree
  5. Oh man….hello, Requiem for the Juan de Fuca Plate.
    Thank you for satisfying my needs on a level of nerdiness I didn't know needed satisfying. Infinite love for you right now.

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    • "Requiem for the Juan de Fuca Plate" was totally the scent that Megan said smelled like a wet hippie! :)

      1 agrees
  6. this is the coolest thing i've ever seen.

    i am not supposed to be buying my honey xmas presents – but she obviously needs dinosaur cologne. perhaps a squee for a stocking.

    nevermind how much i want the quark set. quarks!

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  7. I can't wait to have a triceratops scented home!

    0 agree
  8. The names of each are great, but the real test is their smell! Also, are these vegan? Cruelty free? If not, I'll just stick with Gorilla Perfumes and Tallulah Jane!

    0 agree

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