ZOMG Smells is ZOMG amazing. They’re our new sponsor. They make fine, nerdy scents with very specific names. And the amount of perfect they are for the Offbeat Empire readers is nuts.
Background information: the weekend of Geek Girl Con, all the Empire staff got a little Squees in our welcome bags. We each pulled out our Squees and compared: Megan took a whiff of one: “Ew, this smells like a wet hippie.” Ariel snatched away the vial, inhaled, and cried: “OMG IT TOTALLY SMELLS LIKE A WET HIPPIE. I love it!”
I think that’s a pretty good introduction to ZOMG Smells.
Like I said, ZOMG Smells makes fine nerdy scents for fine nerdy people! They cater right to the nerdiest among us. Check it: They have an entire set for physics lovers. Or fall in love with the description of the ZOMG Smells Triceratops scent: It’s herbal, masculine, and Pangean: with bay laurel, dry grasses, white pepper, sun-weathered wood.
These scents leave the potpouri-grossness of department store perfume counters so far in the dust. I’d love to walk into Macy’s and pick up a vial based on Magnacephalopoda Aesthetica, the ancient squid which some paleontologists think may have arranged bones to make art.
Not into octopodes? How about:
The ladies’ goods are affordable, too: how about gifting a set of 13 Squee vials (for men!) for $30? You can also pick and choose any selection of 10 scents for $23. Did we mention? If you place an order of $50 or more, it’ll ship for free, worldwide.
You should start putting together your order now — each of these vials contains a scent personally engineered and handmixed by Holly and Ariel, the ZOMG Smells team, and it takes 10-15 days to process and pack each shipment.
Long story short: we at the Empire are big fans of what ZOMG Smells makes, and you’re going to fall in love with this nerdy business, too.