I have a friend who is unabashed about her habit of looking in medicine cabinets. I never peek, but I always think of her when I'm in a new person's home: What would she find in this house? I kind of figure that whatever my friend might find in my house is her own problem — you get what you ask for when you snoop!
But now I need to know: When your friends come over, what's your panic object? The thing you hope they don't find, because it'll mean no end to merciless teasing? A shrine to an ex in the closet? Cigarettes, even though you made a big deal about quitting? Dirty shots of you and your sweetie doing cosplay? Your journal? A photo of you stuck in the toilet? Save me the snooping and just tell!