What do you dread your guests finding?

Posted by
sad potty pic

I have a friend who is unabashed about her habit of looking in medicine cabinets. I never peek, but I always think of her when I’m in a new person’s home: What would she find in this house? I kind of figure that whatever my friend might find in my house is her own problem — you get what you ask for when you snoop!

But now I need to know: When your friends come over, what’s your panic object? The thing you hope they don’t find, because it’ll mean no end to merciless teasing? A shrine to an ex in the closet? Cigarettes, even though you made a big deal about quitting? Dirty shots of you and your sweetie doing cosplay? Your journal? A photo of you stuck in the toilet? Save me the snooping and just tell!

Comments on What do you dread your guests finding?

  1. The only thing I worry about is that guests might find my worn undies in the kitchen or something… they know I hate cleaning, we have cats to explain at least some of the chaos, but I have this nasty habit of getting undressed wherever I feel like (AT HOME!!), and I hardly ever bother to put the clothes away. So… well. ^^

      • Me too… I usually don’t bother getting embarrassed but I did smile at myself after a parent dropped off at my daycare one morning and when I went to close the door, I watched him glance at my bra out on the deck πŸ˜‰

  2. I worry a bit that I’ll forget to pick up my panties or bra from the livingroom or other public areas after husband and I have ‘quality time’. I’ve found some halfway under the couch seconds before guests knocked on the door. They’re pretty, but who wants to imagine their hosts gettin’ funky on the sofa they’re sitting on! Also, when we lived in an apartment we had a serious lack of storage. We had this exercise ball, a huge pink inflatable thing, and for lack of a place to keep it we put it in the guest shower stall. We never used that shower, so it worked fine. We had some guests over and they asked, “So, what’s with the ball in the shower? *WINK*” We moved it after that πŸ™‚

    • Are you kidding!? I used my guest shower for storage too, shelves, boxes, the whole nine yards! I just got a pretty curtain and hung it up and kept it closed!

      • Hahaha! My grandma keeps her recycling bins in the tub of her guest bathroom, and had my dad install pretty “painted glass” sliding doors on it. I know if I had an extra bathroom I would probably line my tub with shelves and store more books there. We have 1 bathroom, so we have bath-toy filled baskets hanging on the walls, so we have a nice curtain on it.

    • We keep the cat litterboxes in the guest bathtub, with the shower curtain closed. It works well for us (in our small apartment,) but when guests notice, they act like it’s the craziest thing they’ve ever seen. Thank you guys for letting me know I’m not the only one making use of this space!

    • we have a three bedroom house with three bathrooms – one full bath and two half baths. now that it’s just the two of us and my daughter, I have taken over the third bedroom as a sewing studio. I store fabric in that half bath, and have converted the shower stall into costume storage (two extra shower curtain rods equals tons of space). this has led to me saying “you could use my bathroom but it’s covered in fabric” more than once.

  3. I worry about people seeing my “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” book or any tests in the trash! I try to hide that kind of stuff, but sometimes guests are unexpected and most people don’t know we are trying!

    • That was the FIRST thing I hid when my in-laws came to visit two weeks ago. I definitely don’t want them to know we’re even THINKING about it, let alone preparing for it.

    • πŸ˜€ My mother decided to do some housework at my place without asking, and found a box of 2 pregnancy tests (I was 19 at the time; I’d had a scare). Should’ve asked really.

      • When I moved into my second apartment, my mom offered to help unpack the kitchen while we moved in. Apparently this also meant bathroom. She sorted my condoms and lube and put them in decorative bowls on my counter. It’s been four years, and we’ve still never talked about it.

    • I try hard to keep all that stuff out of sight, because not many people know we’re trying either. Then there’s my husband, who just scheduled an appointment for a semen analysis and wrote “SPERM – 1:30” on the calendar. The calendar that’s on the fridge.

      • I’m so happy to know other people want to keep this mum from their family. We live in the rental property owned by my dad and stepmom and they’re all up in our financial biz. If they thought we were trying to get preg forget it.

        Recently my dad came over and I had snagged a SICK Moses basket from the thrift store (I’ve been wanting one so bad and they’re so expensive–it was quite the score), but it had all these awful pink ruffles and bumpers and other suffocation hazards still on it. It was under our coffee table, which is quite high and open, and…he never said anything, and neither did I, but I’m sure he noticed as he was sitting there. Staring at it. Maybe he thought it was for my friend who has a baby haha. Let’s hope.

    • Our bathroom is an older bathroom in an older apartment and gets zero real ventilation, so I totally second this! I also shed hair like crazy when I blow-dry in the morning, so there’s hair on the floor, on the wall – and it doesn’t matter if I just cleaned, because I blow-dry again the next morning and its back! Lastly, I do have a tendency to leave my skivvies from the day before on the floor of the bathroom – they always end up behind the door before I jump in the shower and then I totally forget they exist.

      Whenever someone asks to use the bathroom I’m always like “yea, I guess…if you have to” in my head, but what I actually say out loud is “yea, sure, go ahead!” and then I pretend like there’s nothing wrong with it at all and that sorta makes me feel better. Most guests wouldn’t say anything anyway, so I just pretend they’re not thinking it either. haha.

    • Even when I think I’ve got the bathroom covered I’m completely paranoid that someone will open the cabinet and check out my diva cup or that handy dandy box of Vagisil medicated wipes. Why do both of these things have boxes that scream LOOKATMEI’MPINKANDEMBARASSING!

  4. I used to be afraid people would notice my boxes of hair dye, or pick on the fact that my shampoo is “color safe.” I started going gray while I was still in college and I found it totally mortifying. Now that I’ve been living with this reality for a while, though, I’ve come to terms with it. Besides: why should I have to hide my own shit in my own freaking house?

    • Why be embarrassed at all? Plenty of women dye their hair even though they don’t have gray hair (I’m one of them) … nobody would guess that’s why you do it!

      • I think that’s true. I have a friend who always goes through and inspects all my toiletries when she comes to my house, and then brazenly saunters out of the bathroom asking “does that stuff work? The stuff for your tits?”. I think it’s hilarious.

    • I started getting gray hair in high school so I have been dying my hair for almost 10 years now to get rid of the gray. I never worry about it anymore because stuff happens πŸ™‚

    • ::sigh:: I’ve always wanted white hair. I look at my mother who is still just salt-and-peppery at 60 and just sigh and resign myself to never managing to have that beautiful shock of grey/white hair that some women have. I think it looks especially beautiful when the woman in question is also clearly NOT old.

    • I’ve been trying to think of something. I guess I don’t *like* it when friends/ guests stumble upon a pair of panties. Then I thought… I have things like EPT (remember when E meant Emergency?), but even that I’m up front about. In fact, any time any of my close (or marginally close) friends has had a pregnancy scare, they’ve called me about it–even one guy I went to high school with who walked into the pharmacy I happened to work at that summer saw me at the counter and said, “Oh my gosh. I’m so glad it’s you. Do you know where the pregnancy tests are?”

      I guess this goes along with my policy on having sex/ buying condoms: SO many teens/ young people *claim* to be mature enough to discuss & have sex, but when they decide to do it, they ask a friend to do it (or a stranger!), or they giggle and feel the need to hide it. If you can’t confidently own up to it, you probably shouldn’t be doing it–or at least should reconsider some aspect of it.
      If anybody happened to find something–anything– in my house, I might have to do a double take, but generally speaking I’d either not be embarrassed, or I’d have to ask them how snoopy they had to get to find said private item. But, again, I don’t feel I have any item I’d be embarrassed about. Not even a journal. Maybe my husband (squee! husband!) does… Hmmmmmm….

      • It does depend on who finds it though.

        With friends yeah condoms are no big deal, but it’s a whole other level of weird when your parents find them. After 3 years living together I’m sure they know, but knowing and coming face to face with a draw of undeniable evidence are different things.

        • You think having parents find your condoms is weird?? Try finding an open condom wrapper in your single father’s house! Oy vey, there is not enough mind soap in the world to scrub that one away!

  5. As a renter with too much stuff in too small a space, I just worry that visitors will open closets and cupboards and discover how truly packed in things are… or be injured by falling objects.

  6. It always makes me nervous that we forgot to put up assexories. Not because it’s a big secret or anything, but unless I TELL you we’re into something you don’t need to know our brand of kink. It also makes me nervous people will go to the bathroom and find cat poo. Our cat is very picky when it comes to her box and sometimes even if it’s completely clean she’ll refuse to use it. Her usual M.O. is to wait until someone’s going to the bathroom and shit while glaring at them.

  7. I guess my biggest fear is that they’ll go un the back yard and step in dog mess. I really despise cleaning up their poo (especially when one of them is 110lbs) and it’s in the fenced in yard, so I’m super lax on getting it done. My husband likes to have last minute cookouts a lot, so I’ve had it happen before and I was less than thrilled, but I still can’t make myself clean it up!

  8. My baby name book. I bought it when I was in high school for writing/character-naming purposes, and although my husband and I do like looking through it, I’ve had to answer some “So, wink wink, why you readin’ that?” questions. Worst of all, his parents helped us unpack our library! I *know* they saw it. Sorry for the false hope that probably got kindled, in-laws!

    • The people who rented our house before us left because they were having a baby and needed a bigger place…one day while trying to shove his trainers in a drawer that wouldn’t shut my bf pulled the drawer out to find a baby name book behind it.

      After a mini heart attack where he thought it as mine we decided to put it on our bookshelf in the living room. It’s always fun watching people’s expressions when they notice it!

    • I have a very old copy of “What Shall We Name the Baby?” that my parents and all their friends passed around between them when they were having babies. It’s got my name, my sister’s name, and all my childhood friend’s names highlighted in it. It’s very sentimental to me, but it does get some funny looks when guests browse the shelves!

      • I have an amazing book from 1970 called “What Not To Name The Baby – How Your Name Has Affected Your Personality, 417 Alarming Examples” that is probably the spoof of the book you have.

        It’s hilarious. A sampling: “Alma is an ex-WAC who owns her own bowling ball”, “Horace says he’s going to make a long story short, but doesn’t”.

        • Alma is my husband’s grandma’s name. She doesn’t own a bowling ball, she is the most hillbilly woman I’ve ever met… she has every strand and clipping of hair that’s ever come off of her head and she will straight beat you with a lead pipe if you cross her!

        • I found the same book (or one very similar!) at a book store for $1.99. I bought all six copies to save for shower gifts when my friends start having babies. I’m pretty open about being childless by choice and people are always curious when they find a copy on my shelf!

          That said, I do like to group books by “shock” factor and often have visitors pondering my choices. My favourite combination, Savage Love, When I Knew and The Book of Mormon are nestled together at eye level.

    • If this post was about internet history, babynames.com would have been mine! I used to get really into playing The Sims, and I’d get really obsessive about finding the perfect names for my character.

      My family already thought I was strange for TEVOing all these TV shows about huge families, or high-order multiple births, etc, the LAST thing I needed was for my snoop sister to find that website in my browser history! I was more careful about hiding that then *ahem* other websites I visited in my adolescence.

  9. It’s funny that 99% of the comments are about sex related items!! I probably would also be mortified if a friend found my undies in under a cushion, haha. I am a bit of a neat freak, so I get really antsy if the husband tells me someone is coming over and the house isn’t 100% clean.

    • HA I’m the same way, specially when the IL’s came to visit! If someone calls from a few minutes away I always freak because I know things aren’t the way I’d like them to be if the visit were planned πŸ™‚

      • I’m with this. Although these days I also think, hey I live here and have a day job! if it bothers you that much clean/tidy it for me!

        I warn my guests not to write in the dust but I worry about my kinda mouldy bathroom and that it doesn’t smell of toilet.

  10. Being really REALLY extremely messy people, we too worry about someone looking in the cupboard and noticing that the tidy house has just had all the mess stuffed in there… Also, eeeerrrr, um, electric fun items that I have a bad habit of leaving on the couch (luckily the only person to be subjected to that view was my best friend and she is far to cool to be bothered lol). And all the burnt/warped/rusty cooking tins and whatnot, because I like people to THINK I’m always awesome in the kitchen LOL.

    • OMG THIS times 100!!

      I sometimes think that I am faster at “cleaning” by shoving things in random places, behind things, etc. I don’t worry too much about what people are going to find in my medicine cabinet…I kinda look at is a challenge…if they can decipher between the random shit I have in my medicine cabinet to actually find any useful tidbits of gossip, then they are totally entitled to it πŸ™‚ I mean, I open my bathroom drawer and shudder in horror because literally ANYTHING might be in there.

  11. Sex toys in the bathroom sink. Or the dishwasher. There have been numerous times that someone has stopped by to see me running to the bathroom to toss them under the sink until they leave.

    • Sex toys in the freezer. I can’t tell you how many times someone has gone to help themself to ice, only to find a purple dildo staring back at them. Oops!

    • We recently moved countries and our collection got lovingly individually wrapped and put in boxes by the packing ninjas… They moved so damn quick it was all done before I could figure out that I should put them somewhere out of the way! Now just about to unpack after three months in storage… hope they are all there and in good shape.

  12. It used to be, someone looking in my trash and seeing wrapped up, used tampons. But Since I’m 8 months pregnant, it’s now nursing pads. We have a lot of guy friends, and most of them don’t have kids, so when they see those, they get confused, and I have to explain to them what they are. :sigh:

  13. WOW I have a friend like that. She has no qualms about snooping ALL over EVERYone’s house. I’m appalled every time, but I love her so much anyway πŸ™‚

    My dirty secret? Hm. I guess if anyone ever found one of my journals, I’d just die. Or I’d kill them. One or the other. But they’d have to snoop extra hard.

    • Yeah, this. I have one journal I use when my depression rears its ugly head so I can write everything out but I fear if anyone gets ahold of it. Granted, it’s on my nightstand in our bedroom and NO ONE goes upstairs except the people who live here, but still….

    • Can I amend/ change my answer to: I would be appalled for my guests to find an unbridled, unabashedly snoopy-ass friend in my house!?!

      Seriously, reading about how snoopy some of our friends are, and how shameless and blunt they are about it, can you imagine having a dinner party or movie night and some loud mouthed friend (now I’m envisioning someone with a gaping Peanuts’ character mouth–Snoopy pun intended) going, “HEY YOU GUYS! HOW COME YOU HAVE _________________ IN THE _________?”

      I’d be like, “How come you looked in the ______ for _________, ____________?!!!”

      • I once got asked by a male friend in front of my then-new boyfriend “Hey, why do you have the box off a kettle in your bathroom?”
        Ahem. It’s where I store my lady-things dearie. Yanno, PADS AND TAMPONS?? I’m glad the situation arose at a house party when I was already quite…mellow, or I would have died of mortification. A year later, the boyf still laughs about his introduction to brazen-me…

  14. Because our washer isn’t great and I am a super clean freak when it comes to undies, I store dirty undies separately from the rest of the laundry. The easiest place to do this is in a hard plastic ‘bag’ like thing in the bathroom, right near the toilet because that’s where the shelf is.

    I generally remember to move it when guests come over but…I dread the “why is there a bag of dirty underpants next to the toilet” look – my friends are too polite to ask, but I’d definitely get the look.

    • This made me laugh. It reminded me of the scene in “A Guy Thing” when Jason Lee is trying to explain to his fiancee (Selma Blair) that the underwear she found in his apartment were a gift for her, and they were dirty when he bought them. So the customer service guy at the store, when he realizes what has really happened sides with Jason Lee, saying they’ve been having issues with people putting dirty undies in the “underwear bin”.

  15. A few months ago, my in-laws came up for a visit. We went out to dinner, and my MIL exclaimed loudly, “So, Erika, I was in your bathroom looking for toilet paper, and I saw your box of pregnancy tests. What are THOSE for?” I keep our spare TP on a rack above the toilet, so I figured nobody would have reason to check our cabinet under the sink. Well, though I was slightly embarassed, I looked her straight in the eye and said, “Well, your son and I like to have lots and lots of awesome nasty sex, and because I am on the pill continuously, I like to confirm every now and then that I am not giving you grandchildren.” She was sufficiently grossed out and said, “Well, I didn’t need to know that!” I told her if she is prepared to ask the question, she should be prepared to know the answer, too. But next time, I will be sure to hide the tests….:)

  16. we have the sex blocks, i cant remember what there called but there tucked away in the closet and when we show our family our new place i’m always worried someones gunna go, “Oh, what’s that?” (or the doggie style strap). oh no. I used to sell sex toys…

  17. I am not embarassed about most of the sex-related items, except for one…the strap-on. I am in a heterosexual relationship. His mother would be very confused and I would never stop blushing. O.o

    • Um, yes. My mom was over one day and the dog decided to bring our strap on downstairs, complete in harness and everything. My mom is cool enough that she just laughed and looked uncomfortable, then looked away while I took it away from the dog, but I am SO GLAD it was not my husband’s mom, or my dad… and so glad the husband was not home to be embarrassed. Needless to say we put our shit in a drawer now instead of just under the bed.

  18. Does anyone remember the episode of ‘Friends’ where Chandler discovers Monica’s secret closet full of junk? I have one of those. And it’s not actually just a closet, it’s an entire room. I never planned it that way, since we have a garage and an attic but somehow that spare room, despite all our ideas of what we could do with it, turned into “the spare room” where we throw all of our junk. THAT is my dirty secret I’m always scared people will stumble upon and honestly? I’d just rather they find the porn. πŸ˜‰

    • That room in my house is my bedroom, we have extremely organized closets, the kids room has a place for everything, etc….but our bedroom looks like a teenager lives in it. A very cool teenager that has a large stack of mail that needs to be shredded, but still a teenager.

    • We live in a rental with horrible storage issues (meaning there are none) so the closets in the bedrooms are more for storage than actual clothes. I keep my clothes nicely folded in a pile on the floor of my closet and everything else in there is stored in an organized manner.

  19. I try to keep things clean all of the time and especially when people are going to be stopping by (which reminds me: clean my room before tomorrow) but other than that, I don’t give a shit what they find. IMO, If my friends/family are disrespectful enough to me, my roommates and our spaces to go snooping around in them, I don’t want to hear any gasping or scoffing at what they find, and I reserve full right to describe to them the precise use for my sex toys or rope or canes or floggers…in full, graphic, uncomfortable detail. They won’t be snooping again πŸ™‚

    • See, in our friends group people might go snooping, and might ask. But it would be because they ACTUALLY would want to know. “So this device in your closet looks really intriguing. How do you use it?” And then we’d explain, and possibly use volunteers to demonstrate πŸ˜›

  20. See, my method of “cleaning” when guests come over is just to shove shit into any spot where it won’t be visible. This, of course, means that there are secret messes in, beside, under, behind and above every available surface. DO NOT LOOK BEHIND THE COUCH. OR UNDER THE CHAIRS. OR UNDER THE SINK. OR ON TOP OF THAT REALLY HIGH CABINET.

  21. We have a few stuffed animals around the house, and as a twenty-five year old married woman, I would be pretty embarrassed if anyone found out that in addition to sleeping with my husband, I still sleep with a stuffed animal (usually a mouse or a poodle). I no longer worry about sexy stuff like lube or my vibrators, because I had enough friends discover them by accident during college!

    • Mary B.- my friend still sleeps with her blankie and teddy bear, and she’s 27, married, and pregnant with her first child. Everyone knows, and it’s just one of her many lovable quirks.

    • I still sleep with SoftBear, whom I’ve had since I had an eye surgery when I was three. I don’t think it’s anything to be embarrassed by. It’s a comfort item. My husband has a lucky jersey, so I don’t think a teddy bear is too crazy.

    • I have a stuffed wolf and a Winnie the Pooh that sit next to my bed. Winnie is my surrogate for when I miss my husband and Frekki (the wolf) is for when I miss my boyfriend. I have a friend who is over 30 and not only sleeps with a teddy bear, but brings it with her when she and her husband stay at a friends house.

      The idea that you should somehow outgrow the desire to cuddle something small and squishy to sleep with.

    • I feel like there should be a whole post just about stuffed animals – I always thought I was the only over-25 who still keeps stuffed animals. I have four, only one of which I sleep with, and then usually only when my husband hasn’t come to bed yet.

      He makes fun of me, but oh well.

      • There was a whole thread on the Post Secret forum. (Can’t remember how to post a link but you can google it.)

        Turns out tons of people do it, both men and women.

    • I have a friend who not only sleeps with her teddy bear, Felix, but carries him around to parties and such. He even has his own facebook page.

    • You don’t EVEN want to know how many stuffed animals I have in my apartment. They all have names and personalities too!

      Cuteness and play can TOTALLY be a part of a good adult life. One of my bears even has a small fanclub among my friends–a well-designed plush is nigh irresistable.

    • I have a teddy named Ronnie and my baby blanket for which my grandmother recently made a cover. My cats have claimed both. The one-year-old cat has the blanket, and the 8-week-old kitten snuggles the bear. I told a friend this and she said that it was SO ADORABLE.
      I didn’t tell my friend that I had no intention of giving either cat either of those things. It’s MY blanket and MY bear, damn it. πŸ˜›

    • I have a wonderful collection of teddies and stuffed animals, given to me over the years (mostly by my grandmother, who has a sizable collection of her own β€” although she did give some of them away when she and my grandfather moved into a retirement community…). The most recent one of them was given to me by my now-husband before we started dating, and I will admit to having slept with it rather a lot when he wasn’t around. When he is around, I sleep with him, but if he isn’t, I’ll snuggle piglet! πŸ˜€

    • I still have one stuffed animal, Tigey, who I’ve had since I was three. I still sleep with her and sometimes hang out with her at the table or couch as well. I would always yell at my fiance if he ever tossed her on the floor while making the bed or such… now he treats her with respect lol. I wouldn’t care if a guest saw her though, I’m not ashamed to still love her! I don’t think most of my guests would care, either. I think a lot of people keep old stuffed animals, even if they don’t talk about it. It’s like a secret normal.

    • I am also 25 and I sleep with two stuffed animals, a panda and a seal, and part of my baby blanket. My boyfriend has never minded, he even put the rest of my, … extensive, stuffie collection all over our room so that they wouldn’t be sad in storage (part of the reason I love him so much). The panda goes almost everywhere with me, airplanes, car rides, any trip over a few hours, etc…

    • I had tons of stuffed animals before I left home (and they’re still there). Unfortunately, when I moved to Chicago, I was limited to whatever I could shove in 2 suitcases and 2 carry-ons. That meant I could only bring Umbra, the little stuffed black lab plushie who’s been there for me through a lot of bullshit and trauma. Most of the time, he hangs out on a shelf or on the futon in the “office” part of our studio apartment. However, FH and I occasionally choose to sleep separately (usually due to heat or if one of us needs to sprawl a bit more than usual–studio apartment=nonlarge bed), so I sleep with Umbra on those nights. Umbra travels with me as well if FH isn’t going as well.

  22. I have a ferret who, while litter trained, often chooses to go in whatever corner of the apartment he wishes. I do my best to clean up after him, but if someone shows up before I’ve tidied they’ll see a little pile of poo.

    • Mine is along these lines too – I have a Bad Cat who occasionally marks, and anyone who has a cat knows that cat pee has a stench unlike the pee of anything else on earth. I’ve been terrified some guest will smell it before I find and clean it, ever since a friend chose not to tell me until the NEXT MORNING that she’d peed on the guest bed right before he got in it! (He slept on the floor instead. I felt awful, both that he slept there and because the smell must have still been overwhelming.)

  23. when i lived in a dorm, i was always terrifiied that one of my guy friends was gonna come in my room and there would be bras and panties everywhere. actually, once, when they were doing room inspections, my roommate and i purposefully left bras hanging everywhere to freak out the RA we didnt like.

    but now that im in an apartment, i am mostly concerned that people will think that we are alcoholics by the sheer amount of booze we have or find a beer bottle in the shower (hey people drink wine in the tub!)

  24. There’s no *item* in my house that I’d be embarrassed by, not even the sex toys (hey that just means you’re sexy!! ).

    But I would be *little* embarrassed if somebody started looking through the shows I record on TiVo and the gossip blogs I read on my computer. All that trash TV and trash Internet! I could have whole seasons of Masterpiece Theater and Doctor Who (what? it’s art ) but my dignity would be wiped out by 1 episode of Sister Wives.

      • Me too! Especially since I generally HATE fashion shows, and I think spending thousands of dollars on a wedding dress is stupid, AND I’m not really into weddingy stuff. I spent $200 for my plain swing dress on Etsy.

    • THIS. omg, god forbid someone opens my browsing history and sees nothing but fashion blogs, OBB and OBH; or looks through my recorded tv and sees multiple episodes of Real Housewives of Orange County… *blush*

    • OH SNAP. I thought I wasn’t too worried about what people might find of mine, but NO. The internet. Curiosity rages through my blood, so I’ve googled just about everything.

    • Oh oh oh….I hate when visitors ask to use my computer for fear they may see what I keep in my browsing history or my favorites folder!! Seriously, if the folder is marked “Private” then it’s PRIVATE! LOL I also dread my husband or friends seeing which apps I download to my phone. They really don’t need to see that scrabble word finder app I use to cheat at Words With Friends!

      • Oooh. Good call. Though now most of my friends understand that my computer MAY serve up very weird porn, because I am apt to google anything. I once spent a whole night reading My Littly Pony slash fanfic — not for the erotic thrill, just because I was drunk and delighted by it.

    • Hahahahahaha. When my husband travels, I have the most wonderful trash-TV times. Real Housewives, Sister Wives (crazy women, he is NOT all that), etc.

Read more comments

Join the Conversation