Ask Me Anything: I’m a young widow now remarried

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By: Jane RahmanCC BY 2.0
In my mid-twenties my life was shattered when my first husband was killed in a car accident. With the support of friends and family I managed to put myself back together. After much soul searching and moments of extreme guilt, I decided to look for a new love. I managed to find someone that fit me perfectly and got remarried in my early thirties.

Whether it is about being a young widow, loss of a loved one, moving on after a relationship ends, survivor’s guilt, the paperwork of death, how to help a loved one who is going through a loss, when support will be most well-received by the grieving, or even how dating in my early thirties was different than in my early twenties, ASK ME ANYTHING! -WhenOneDoorCloses

This is our first AMA post in Offbeat Home history. So let’s hear it guys: “WhenOneDoorCloses” is standing by to answer your questions, and it seems like she has a LOT of life experience from which to draw on.

What have a you always wanted to know about when it comes to relationships and death, dating and grieving?

Comments on Ask Me Anything: I’m a young widow now remarried

  1. I know I’m so late to this post but I really appreciate how you answer everybody’s questions, it truly is helpful. I’m recently widowed at the age of 21, and I miss my best friend so much. I liked how you explained the differences between your late husband and new husband. My grief is still so new, so of course I’m still at the point where I can’t imagine being with someone else, but I’m sure when you were with your late husband there were so many things he did that you loved or you were used to. Was it hard to go into a new relationship knowing you would not have those little things anymore, and that things were going to be different with a new guy? Or did things just fall into place fore you? All can think about is how comfortable and happy I was with my husband, and how free I was with him. Do you ever get that back with someone else?
    Thanks so much for all your help. I’m glad you found happiness again.

  2. I’m going to make this short and sweet, I’m dating a women that was widowed. I’m frantically searching for help understanding her position on different topics.

    I don’t want to make things harder for her but I struggle when I don’t understand how she feels about certain things. The topic I’m specifically looking for advice on involves the in-laws. her and I are only 8 months in and has a 2 year old daughter so please understand that I’ve kept this in mind as you read along.

    The brother of her late husband is getting married in July and to be quite honest I really do not want to meet them in this setting (it just seems inappropriate) but My girlfriend doesn’t want me to go because she doesn’t want to disrespect their union the only reason she’s going is because her daughter is in the wedding party I’m really worried that this is the standard that will be set, that I’m not welcome to things involving that side of her daughters family, in fact my girlfriend would rather I not meet them until her and I are married but I don’t feel comfortable marrying her without meeting these people. I respect she wishes to honor her late husband by making them a part of her daughters life but I feel that if she wishes to become something serious with me then when do I become part of the package deal with her because at the moment from the family I feel like the guy who their daughter in-law is having an affair with and that I’m some sort of leper. I feel rather selfish for feeling this way and would like some insight so i could move forward and support her better without disrespecting myself.

  3. I don’t know if this is still open but it’s been five months since my wife passed away I’m 23 and I’m not over it yet but something inside tells me to move on even though it’s only been five months. Is this ok? Am I horrible person? But my main question is that I have recently had feelings for my wife’s sister I don’t know if it’s because of familiarity or something but I can’t shake this feeling that we were meant to be together (horrible I know) but we like the same music and jokes and food and pretty much most things we enjoy I’ve never had prolonged interaction with her before but I still have feelings none the less. Any advice please and thank you in advance.

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