I don’t know what the best thing about this wine holder is…
1. That Offbeat Homie Amanda sent it to me in an email that said:
“Just, this.” And the link.
2. That it’s called this:
“WINE OF SACRED PURITY UNICORN WINE HOLDER KITCHEN DECORATION SCULPTURE STATUE”
I bought this unicorn thinking it would bring luck, joy and rainbows into my home. Instead he just sits there, staring through my soul with his cold black eyes, just daring me to steal his bottle of sweet nectar. Then when I finally get the courage to take the wine all he does is throw judgement my way for days. Every time I pass I get the “oh hey, there goes that thieving wino again” look.
By the time I feel I am over the constant judging, he switches up and begins a massive guilt trip. “Why did you take my precious bottle, leaving me lonely here on my back? Now I’m just a poor, pale joke. All the other mystical hooved animals laugh at me.”
Eventually I give in and buy him another bottle so that I can literally put a cork in it, thus starting the cycle all over again. Want a review? Sure it holds the hell out of a bottle of wine. Just be aware of the mind games to come.
4. Or this creepy photo:
PRO TIP FOR OFFBEAT BRIDE TYPES WHO MAY BE READING:
You can set up a universal registry on Amazon to immediately add weird shit like this to YOUR registry.
What do YOU think is the best thing about this creepy drunken unicorn statue?