Why I’m tired of the mentality that marriage = babies
What I’ve been considering a lot lately, and what has been upsetting me, is that marriage seems to = babies according to common logic. I find myself not just frustrated as a woman that is simply not damn ready to have a baby yet, but also insulted for pretty much any family that has done things differently.
I’ve got baby fever, but I’m in no rush to actually have a baby
Not that I don’t want children, or babies, I just have a bit more to do first. My husband needs time to establish himself in a new, entrepreneurial endeavor. I need time to get more comfortable as a teacher in a low-income school. I also have a few more words to write before I am forced to decide between teaching and writing and the balance of motherhood. Yeah, yeah, I know, you’re never ready. Maybe that’s why baby fever takes over, to ensure we have those babies before it’s too late.
Parent envy: the long road to parenthood for LGBT families
I didn’t choose to be Queer, but I did choose to follow that path and I thought I had prepared myself for what that meant in terms of family planning. I did not expect to feel this way — so torn up about the prospect of being childless. So angry that for some it is so easy it becomes accidental. My hope, in sharing these feelings is to shed them. I can’t imagine I am the only one to harbor such emotions and yet it feels lonely here.
My ovaries, his sperm, and other dinner conversations: why we’re not discussing our conception plans
I’ve always been open about my sexuality and the fact that I want more than anything to have a family of my own. If I had questions about sex or relationships, I went to my family for advice or answers. When I wanted to start on birth control pills, I talked to my Mom about it. I’m generally an open person, so why can’t I just give them a firm answer on the baby of it all? The answers to those questions are somewhat complicated. The reason we’ve decided to be mum (ha!) on the whole situation is not: quite simply, it’s none of their business.
My child and I will be bilingual, but my husband isn’t: how will this impact our family?
Though babies are not yet on the to-do list, my husband and I have been thinking about what having a child would mean. One of the things that came up is language — my mother tongue is Dutch and both my husband and I agree that I should teach our kids(s) how to speak it as well, so they can communicate when visiting my family and other advantages. The problem is… my husband doesn’t understand Dutch at all, save the odd word here and there. He won’t be able to understand us and has previously expressed discomfort and annoyance at not being able to join in conversations.
My husband and I are big-time introverts: will having kids and losing our personal space be crazy for us?
I fear that the lack of privacy, personal space, quiet and time for us to recharge, could bring out a bad side of us and we’d slowly slide the horrible steep slope in becoming horrible parents that scar their children for life.
How I decided what to read when preparing to conceive
When the hubs and I first got serious about going off the pill, I did what I always do when I am facing a new and exciting challenge: I started reading. As fast as I could download them onto my e-reader, I snatched them up: books on pre-conception health, on the challenge of balancing work and family life, and on maintaining a happy marriage after having a child. I couldn’t wait to begin thinking through what it would mean to have a baby in concrete terms.
I just don’t want to be pregnant: why I chose adoption over pregnancy
I was incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of getting pregnant. The idea of my body trying to sustain another life seemed impossible — I even went to hypnotherapy to try to help me “get over” it.That is when I realized that if I needed to be hypnotized in order to want to get pregnant, pregnancy might not be for me.